"Nice of you to join me but awful that you're here." Was more than likely the most heartbreaking words he had ever uttered.
He was heartbroken by even uttering the words. He had died a long time ago, a few years now.
Three to be exact that is. He had jumped to save the same man the had uttered these words to.
He never knew the chain reaction that it would bring. He never knew that John would go into spiral.
He didn't know how that he'd start doing drugs. He didn't know that he'd become depressed.
He never knew how much he meant to John. He never got to tell John he meant the same to him. He never got to tell him that he loved him.
He never knew that it would get to the point that John would try to kill himself.
He never knew it would get so bad but it did. It got so much worse than he could think about.
He didn't know what to do with himself, he supposed that's how they got where they were now.
Sherlock saying those words as he stared at John, who had a bullet hole in the side of his head.
He had really done it. He had really killed himself and it was his fault. It was all his fault.
That's all he felt in those moments as he stared at John. He didn't let it show but the things he was feeling were the worse he had ever felt.
He didn't know what to do, say, act. All he wanted to do was save John and yet he was the reason he was there now.
He was the reason he killed himself. Sherlock was suppose to leave a long time ago, crossover and such, but he refused to do so without John.
He wouldn't do it without John. He would of waited forever forever for him. He didn't know it would come so soon and yet, it did. It came way too soon.
Yes, he loved seeing John, but no, he hated it was so early. He had been there every time John had visited him.
John had came every Friday. He sat there and talked, like Sherlock was there. He was of course, though he didn't know that.
He didn't know Sherlock was listening to him.
"Sherlock..." John muttered as he stared at him.
So, as the words were uttered. John stared at him.
Maybe it was shock, relieved, joy, or maybe it was anger. He didn't know for sure. He didn't know what he was feeling.
All John knew was he was dead. John knew that he was dead and Sherlock was there. He had always thought about that, dying and Sherlock being there.
He stopped believing it after a while and yet, there he was. He was right there in front of him and the only thing he could bring himself to do is hall of and hit him.
He regretted it the moment it happen, pulling him into a hug. Sherlock didn't mind so much, not really. He had missed John so much that he didn't mind.
"John." Sherlock whispered as he wrapped him into a tight hug, holding John as he started to cry.
"I'm sorry." Was the only words that came out John's lips. It confused Sherlock,. Why was he saying sorry?
When it was all Sherlock's fault. John took a deep breath as he shook his head.
"I couldn't save you. I couldn't save you and..." He got out after a minute, letting everything out he had held in. He couldn't stop crying. "I loved you and you left me."
He whispered as he held onto him for dear life. He needed him and he left him. Sherlock stiffened lightly as he shook his head, explaining carefully what happened as he held onto him.
John pulled back after a few minutes to look at him. "I...You idiot." He said as he shook his head.
"You..." He pulled him into a kiss. Sherlock pulled back after a few minutes.
"I love you too, you know." Sherlock said taking a deep breath as a light apeared. That was it, they were moving on.
He took John's hand into his. "You ready?" John asked. Sherlock nodded as he looked at him and like that, they stepped into the light together, how it should always be. John and Sherlock together forevermore.