The Poll
I don't own any of these characters and am only borrowing them from JKRowling to write my silly fanfic about nonsense.
"Hey, Hermione!" called Harry as he caught up with Hermione on her way out of the Gryffindor common room. It was a sunny Saturday morning and Ron was nowhere to be found. But that didn't worry Harry. He was probably just practicing quiddich. Harry's attention was suddenly caught by a piece of parchment that was in Hermione's hand. "What's that?" Harry asked pointing to the parchment.
"It's Colin and Denis Creevey's latest poll –'What is your favourite one of Harry Potter's adventures?'"
"What? Let me see that!" Harry took one look at it and was disgusted. When would he ever be rid of the Creeveys. Harry wondered if Ron had seen it so he asked Hermione if she knew. "No, I don't think he's seen it," she replied disinterestedly.
"Well do you know where he is?" Harry asked.
"Yes I do. He should be finishing now actually, if we hurry we'll meet him on the front lawn."
As they walked down to meet Ron Harry wondered why he was so uninformed, what was going on? Hermione abruptly interrupted his dejected thoughts by bursting out, "hey, why don't we do it?"
"Do what exactly?" said Harry, suddenly interested.
"The poll dumbie! Even if it is totally uncouth. Anyway what did you think I meant?" asked Hermione suspiciously.
"Nothing," Harry said quickly and changed the subject. "What is uncouth anyway?"
"Strange, crude, even uncivilised. But do you want to do it?"
"Oh, umm, yeah, sure."
By that time they had passed through the entry hall and walked across the lawn. They sat under a shady tree by the lake while they waited for Ron.
Harry was considering which of his years at Hogwarts was his favourite when Hermione muttered, "Something wicked this way comes"
Harry looked up saying, "Que?"
Hermione gave him a funny look before commenting that Ron was approaching. "Hullo," he said as soon as he was close enough.
"Now were all together!" Hermione said happily.
"We're all one big happy family," said Harry with a grin.
"Huzza!" said Ron who was still standing.
"Habib!!" cried Harry.
Hermione was nodding in agreement when Ron suddenly collapsed onto the ground. The other two weren't worried as this had been happening fairly regularly and they knew that Ron was all right.
"SANDWICH!!!!!!" Hermione screamed.
"SANDWICH!!!!!!!!" Harry screamed back.
"Wait," said Hermione breaking off the screaming match. "Have you done your thing yet Harry?"
"No," he replied. He then asked, "Where do pigmy marmosets come from?"
"Why don't you check your maps for once!" said Hermione crossly.
"Yay!" said Ron, "I like, totally understand!"
"SANDWICH!!!!!!" screamed Harry.
"No- don't give it away, I think I understand." Said Ron concentrating.
"Huzza!" said Hermione.
"Habib!" said Harry.
"We are the strangest herd I have ever seen!" cried Hermione.
At this they all rolled around on the grass laughing merrily. Once they had finished Hermione turned to Ron and said, "Well I'm soooooooo glad you're here cookie! Like totally!" for she had suddenly turned American! Then they all started to laugh once more.
"Oi Harry!" said Ron when they had calmed down once more, "Did you see Malfoy's spanky pants stuck to the roof of the common room?"
"Yep," Harry replied, "they're up there if you want to see them Hermy."
"So funny!" said Ron laughing, "Thankyou to the kind stranger who put them up!"
Hermione was laughing hysterically and managed after several minutes and concerned looks from both Harry and Ron to say, "You're welcome!"
"Yet again, I in the lurch" said Ron sadly, "the dark, dank lurch, where no one will find me for months on end."
"Who's your favourite Prefect?" She asked tweaking Ron's nose. She then said in a regal tone, "Come forth from under yon rock Sir Weasley!"
Harry had remained quite silent for some time in utter shock. He finally said, "I'm still in the lurch."
Ron ignored him saying, "Hermione, you're a masterpiece baby!"
"Masterpiece? Oh yes, I've no doubt about that!" she replied with a wink. Then seeing Harry's rejection announced, "Let's all be in the lurch together!"
After sitting for some time in the lurch Hermione Suddenly remembered the poll she had found. "Harry," she said, "do you still have that poll that we were doing?"
"No I don't actually," said Harry thoughtfully, "I believe it flew away."
"Oh well, that's no matter. It's on the Net" And with that Hermione briskly took out her wand. "computadorium!" she said. By the time her wand was back in her pocket a laptop was resting on her knees.
"So it is," said Harry who was secretly planning to get that spell from Hermione. Ron was puzzled as to how the strange contraption on Hermione's knees could hold the poll.
"Harry," Hermione said, "Would you be a dear and show Ron how to access the poll while I do my hair. It's already on the net."
Before Harry could even answer Ron was standing up saying, "No, no, Ron is still in limbo-he cannot complete any form of exercise."
"It's not exercise dumbie!" Hermione said as she sat Ron down and pressed the laptop into his hands. "And anyway, it's easy."
"Ok Ron," said Harry who didn't mind teaching Ron while Hermione did her hair. "Your mission, should you chose to accepts it is to go to the webbie "www.sheroes.com". You shall receive further information when you get there."
"Nice job" Hermione commented
"Yeah. Go team!" Harry said
"By the by... this fanfic will not self destruct in 5 seconds" Hermione added as an afterthought.
"I have accepted my mission and am following through with the task," Ron said. "What is my next task oh great master-head?"
Harry, the great master-head said, "You have done well, my young apprentice."
Ron smiled, "You make me smile, oh great master-head"
"Now you must become at one with the webbie and sign up." Said Harry who had a feeling that he was a Jedi knight.
"You will go home and rethink your life..." said Hermione who had the same inkling. "The force will guide you."
"May the force be with you child." Harry said to Ron as he signed up.
"Oh great master-head," said Ron, "I have come to a stand-still." At this both Harry and Hermione sat up. Ron continued, "I have not fulfilled your greatest expectations... The webbie that I have come to is not correct. Please, please, oh great master-head, do not beat me into submission..."
"This is thy negligence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" cried Hermione.
"DO YOU REALISE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!!!!!!!!!" screamed Harry.
"But, but," Stammered Ron, "Oh great master-head, I have followed every direction of your highness correctly and obediently.... I do not see where I could have gone wrong..."
"Me neither." Said Harry truthfully.
"Hmm..." said Hermione "Lets think, think, thiiiiiink! Because when we use our minds, take a step at a time, we can do anything that we wanna do! Yeah!"
"BLUES CLUES" screamed Ron who had seen it on the 'TV' at Hermione's house the previous summer.
"Hermione," said Harry "You partook in this not long ago; perhaps you could help out our young Ron."
"Huzza!" cried Hermione.
"Habib!" cried Harry.
"Oh great master-head and his astounding accomplice, what have I done? Can you ever forgive such a degree of negligence?" said Ron almost in tears.
"INDEED! WHY AM I SCREAMING!?!?!?" Hermione shouted at the top of her lungs.
"You are screaming," said Harry "Because the author accidentally hit the 'Caps Lock' button on her keyboard"
"Ok," said Hermione "Well thankyou to the author for turning it off again." Turning back to Ron Hermione said, "Ok child...you must go to www.sheroescentral.com …forgiveness is granted."
"Me too," commented Harry.
"Why, thankyou oh great master-head and his astounding accomplice!" said Ron with a munted bow as both he and the other two were still sitting by the lake.
"You are most welcome," said Hermione.
"Me too," said Harry
"Now... Harry, you fool of a Took! You didn't put the central in!!!!!!!!!" said Hermione.
"Me too"
"Stop saying that!" exclaimed Hermione.
"Me too," said Harry "Sorry, reflex action."
Hermione scowled at him but said no more. They all sat in silence for a short time with only the soft tapping and clicking of the laptop before Ron cried out, "Oh no, I must flee
too much talk, not enough action!"
"Fly you fool!" Harry said.
"I did enjoy our role play thing though." Ron added as an afterthought.
"We did role play?" Harry asked sounding confused.
"Why must it end??!!" said Hermione the she burst out, "Did you get in?"
"Yeah did you? Asked Harry," asked Harry.
"I am at the website, but I am not in," said Ron quickly logging out, "I will be back in less than an hour."
"Shame, said Harry," said Harry.
"I might not be here then but just so you know... OH MY GOD!!! She has started doing her own narration!" screamed Hermione in fear.
"NOOO, I'M DOING MY OWN NARRATIONS!! screamed Harry" screamed Harry.
"Right," said Ron.
"RON!!" cried Hermione.
"Talk to you later," said Ron
"wait!"
"Bye!!!!!" screamed Ron "got to go! SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Bye said Harry" said Harry.
"You must sign up at the webbie then look for the latest poll by steph_is _laughing, and then you must do the poll! Don't forget me!!!!!! BYE!" Hermione screamed.
"See ya!" said Harry who had stopped doing hi own narration.
"Bye!!!" said Ron.
"In the Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings section!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hermione called to Ron's retreating back, but it was too late. "Nnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she cried falling to her knees and sobbing. "Eh," she said, getting up, "I'll just send him an email..."
"There there, said Hermione" said Harry patting Hermione on the back.
"I didn't say that!" Hermione exclaimed.
Then Harry's voice turned airy and he said, "Hermione's Thoughts: I actually did but he didn't need to know that."
Hermione then set the record straight, "Hermione's REAL thoughts: it was then that I realized what a weirdo my friend Harry was. SANDWICH!!!!!!"
"Harry's thoughts; it was then that I realised that in the past five minutes this had all become strangely like 'Deltora Humour', and I had this weird craving for a SANDWICH!!!"
"Hermione's REAL thoughts: where was that shadowy fella? He has my belt?"
"Harry's REAL thoughts: just because he's different!"
"Hermione's REAL thoughts: and where did sailor moon go?"
"Harry reads thoughts; we must call him… fire, wind, water…"
"Hermione's Real thoughts: can Harry read my mind?"
"…Earth…"
"Fart!"
"SANDWICH!!!!"
"Hermione's REAL thoughts: I think I'll turn this conversation into an epic tale..."
"Harry's REAL thoughts: I had just realised how good an idea that was, I must kill her and steal the idea!"
"Wait! I don't deserve to die!!!!!!!!"
"Are you really going to make it an epic tale?" Harry asked Hermione, "Did you read my thoughts?"
"Yes and no," she replied, "And you shall be called 'Dxsjlkojzx'... according to Crookshanks! In my epic tale that is."
With a warm smile Harry replied, "Then you shall be called..."
"Get Hedwig!"
"Harry's REAL thoughts: it was at that moment I realised I didn't have a cat."
"Get Hedwig!!!"
"I'll just drop stuff on the key board," said Harry. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Your name is...Sdfmbnnbjhx!" Harry proudly announced.
"Huzza!!!" said Hermione
"Habib!" cried Harry
"And," said Hermione "Ron's name shall be....drum roll...Dijoeoi!"
"Yay!"
"By the by, I think I permanently damaged my keyboard! Huzza!"
"Habib!"
"would you like to go back up to the common room?" Hermione inquired for they had been on the lawn for some time and had consequently missed both breakfast and lunch. Dinner was still in a few hours so they would have to wait.
"Well," said Harry, "we could get a snack from the kitchens. What do you say?"
"Sounds good!" Hermione replied, wistfully thinking of food. And with that they both got up and walked back to the castle.
The End
By the by: 'The Poll' actually does exist. Just follow the master-head's astounding accomplice's instructions. It is called 'What is Your Fave Harry Potter Book?' Plz vote