title: Of Disney Movies and Clichés
summary: He just didn't understand why she was so into these movies, they all end the same way; 'and they lived happily ever after'. How annoying.
characters: Sasuke, Sakura ─sasusaku.
author's note: I honestly had so much fun writing this and you guys probably won't find it as funny as I did but no matter, I still liked it. And secretly I think this is what Sasuke would be like watching movies like these! Yes, AU again because..why not? Enjoy!
"You know, I don't know even understand why you're into watching this crap."
Today was Friday, and just like every single Friday Sasuke and Sakura were nestled on their old couch as they watched a movie. She was sitting in between his legs, a bowl of popcorn on top on her lap, just like any other Friday. However, today's difference was that the movie they were watching wasn't his choice, no, his was last week's, a movie filled with action and blood, manly things, but not today.
Today they were watching a movie of her choice, and normally she'd pick a romantic comedy, something lighthearted and very Sakura. He had been prepared for everything, really, he had been, but then she walked in the door holding the movies they were to watch and to his utter shock (and dread) they were all Disney movies.
And no, not just any kind of Disney movies, they were all princess movies. Those movies with the cliché kisses and falling in love and everything just so damn predictable and Sasuke loathed it.
"Sasuke, shut up," his girlfriend grits her teeth, "Ariel is singing."
With a sigh he watches with disgust as the red-haired mermaid (like they could ever exist) talks about falling in love with a prince, a human prince.
'Wow so dramatic, wow,' he sarcastically thinks, 'such a great movie, yay.'
Normally he would've been against this, he would've given Sakura that look that just screamed rebellion and she would've picked a different movie just so he could stay, but today was different. Today was the day before his birthday so if he were to, I don't know, want to have a nice birthday he should just listen and do as she says.
Watching this movie now, he can't help but snort and wonder what the hell he was even thinking giving her power like that.
"You know, in the real story she dies," he comments.
"Sasuke-kun, this is Disney," she tells him.
He sighs, "yeah, but they're sugar coating it, she turns into foam, no happy ending for her."
"You're ruining this," she growls, "just watch, enjoy my picks."
"I'd be a little more onboard with this if the stories followed the truth," he rolls his eyes.
"Look, look, it's the prince, okay shut up now," she tells him excitedly.
"Sakura-"
And before he can say anything more she stuffs a handful of popcorn into his mouth. He eats the popcorn, some falling down on to the girl's hair but he makes sure to swat them away so she won't be angry later.
He returns his attention to the cliché love story going on before him and his eyes narrow at the prince on the screen, the nerve of some guys.
"I'm surprised that tiger hasn't swallowed her whole."
"I'm surprised that tiger hasn't swallowed her whole."
Sakura turns her head and glares, "he's loving, okay?"
He had expected it to have ended with that red-haired little mermaid turning into foam, but not only did she not turn into foam at the end of the movie, she got a happy ending. Sasuke had almost gaged at how incredibly disgusting that was
Disney obviously did nothing but sugarcoat and lie.
Now they were on to their second movie, a movie about a guy who falls in love with a princess, turns out the guy's poor and he lies to get her. Still the same cliché love story that he's sure will end up in a happily ever after.
Yay.
"You know Sakura, in the real world he would've eaten her," he smirks, "in one bite actually."
"Shh."
"I mean look at him, he's big and she's kind of small," he drawls, "one bite and she'd be cat food."
"Sasuke-kun"
"Hn."
"So he slayed a dragon for her? How romantic."
"You wouldn't slay a dragon for me?" she pouts looking up at him.
"Dragons don't exist."
"They do there!" she frowns, "so you wouldn't?"
He sighs, placing his chin on her head, "I wouldn't need to."
"Wha-"
"You're pretty intimidating on your own."
The jab she gives him with her elbow shows him that his answer was clearly the wrong one.
Stupid Disney.
"So this prince charming," he drawls, "did nothing to win the girl?"
"Sasuke-"
"No, you can't defend him, he literally did nothing to find her," he tells her.
"He's prince charming so it's okay!"
"Is it really?"
"Sasuke-kun."
"Sakura."
"You're ruining Disney, you idiot."
"Am I, Sakura?" he smirks, "seems that Disney does that all by itself."
"You're so annoying, Sasuke-kun," she mocks him.
"Tch, not as annoying as Disney."
"Argh."
He smirks.
Sasuke watches with amusement in his eyes as the girl kisses the dying...beast? Or whatever he was, and he can't help but wonder why Disney makes so much money out of things like this, Sakura has played four ─this being five, movies on already and they're all the same somehow.
And this one gets better, a beautiful girl falls in love with an ugly beast.
It's not typically something you see every day, he smirks.
"So she actually fell in love with him?"
"Yeah."
"Kissed him?"
"Uh yeah, were you not watching?"
"A pretty girl?"
"Yeah."
"With an ugly beast?"
"Sasuke-kun."
"I mean, how is that possible?" he yawns.
"I'm dating you aren't I?"
His mouth shuts and his eyes narrow down on the pinkette.
They're on to their sixth movie and he's not sure how much more he can take of his pain.
Sakura has moved from where she was sitting and now she's laying on the couch, her head on his lap as she watches with excited eyes as the girl (who doesn't know she's a princess) follows the guy (who's a thieve) around.
Seriously, how could anyone be into this stuff? He's been watching this all day and is completely and utterly annoyed with it.
"Sakura."
"Sasuke-kun, please be quiet," she whines, "for someone who doesn't normally say a word you're...talkative today."
"Hn."
"It's annoying, to put it nicely."
"Is it?"
"Yeah."
"I just had a question," he sighs.
"What is it?"
"I googled this and found no Rapunzel story that matched this."
"Sasuke-kun, stop."
"I'm just saying, if you're going to lie you should at least cover up your tracks," he sighs.
"You know if you were just quiet for a few seconds we'd be okay."
"Would we?"
"Sasuke-kun."
"Fine."
"Good."
The silence lasts for five minutes before he lets out an exasperated sigh, "damn this."
He's not sure how much he can take of this.
He's had enough, they've been watching these movies all day. They all end on a happy note no matter what the circumstance is, they're all freaking happy in the end, the notion makes him sick.
Sakura sings along happily to all the songs like everything is okay when it truly isn't. Isn't she aware? They're feeding her lies because all those princes' don't exist, they're all made up men because in real life no man would stand in front of a dragon to save her, no one would dare mess with dark magic, no one would oppose an evil octopus looking-thing-woman, no one.
And yet she sings and looks so elated.
He sighs petting her hair lovingly, his poor, innocent, little Sakura.
"I mean it's crazy..."
They.
"What"
Can't.
"We finish each other's.."
Be,
"Sandwiches!"
Serious.
"That's what I was gonna say!"
He glares, no that idiot wasn't going to say that, he's an idiot, a damn idiot. And that girl, what the hell is she thinking falling in love with a man she just met? That's bound to end her in a bad place, she's going to get killed or something trusting a stranger like that.
He peers down at Sakura who's looking at the screen with happiness just dripping from those green eyes of hers. She truly is oblivious to the dangers that girl singing in the movie is presenting to herself in falling in love with a stranger.
"Love is an open door!"
"Is it really?" he drawls.
"Life can be so much more!"
"Can it really?"
"With you!"
"No."
"With you!"
"No."
"With you!"
"No."
"With you!"
"No."
Sakura giggles from her place on his lap and he frowns, so she finds his pain amusing does she?
"Can I say something crazy? Will you marry me?"
He gapes, this guy, whoever he is, is the epitome of stupidity.
"Can I say something even crazier?"
She wouldn't dare...
"Yes!"
And she dared.
"Are you freaking kidding me?" he throws his hands up, "they've known each other for minutes, freaking minutes!"
"Sasuke, I'd never thought I would ask you this but...please," she giggles, "shut up."
"Sakura," he smirks.
"What?"
"Three kisses the guy ends up being an asshole."
She looks up with an arched brow, a small smirk on her lips, "fine."
"Hn."
The movie ends and Sakura's angry at how easily she was fooled by the guy at the beginning, what was his name? Hands, Hams? ...oh no, it was Hans.
It was amusing to watch the look on her face when the guy back-stabbed the girl he was supposed to be in love with. It seemed as if all her hopes and dreams had been crushed in that single moment.
But he owes it to the guy because without him he would've never gotten such a fine reward.
"Sakura."
"What?" she growls.
"I require payment."
Her green eyes narrow as she sits up and he smirks wrapping his arms around her waist and bringing her on to his lap. She looks at him with her arms crossed and an angry pout on her lips.
"Hn," he smirks, "mad?"
"You're annoying," she frowns, leaning forward, "but I guess I owe you three kisses."
When her lips fall on his he can't help the small smile that makes its way to his lips and as promised she gives him three kisses, each one better than the first. When she pulls away she places her forehead against his and he smirks.
"Hn, was that better than Disney?"
He watches as she smiles brightly, "way better."
He grins pulling her in for another kiss, she may still be a sap for those princess movies but at least there's one thing they agree on.
.
ES: Thanks for reading!