Hello everyone. I have restarted this story over and over, trying to work out kinks and wanting to make this story better. My life has been crazy and my writing life has suffered. I've jumped into a new major, nursing, so that's taking up some time and I'm now a mother, doing everything on my own since my ex left us when my son was only six months. It's been challenging and I'm finally jumping back onto the writing train. My writing has suffered but I've always loved this story and have found new inspiration. So without any more boring details of my life, I want to welcome you all to my newest version on Blue. I'm really going to try hard to not start over anymore or change her name anymore.
This is a Jasper/OC story, but it's going have a bit of other lovin' from other characters. It involves both the Harry Potter world and Twilight. This is just the first part of her story. I hope it's written better and I really hope you enjoy it.
TRIGGER WARNING. I'm mentioning this now, there will be topics of abuse, anxiety, and depression. It's starts this first chapter.
The quote in the summary is from Little Trip to Heaven (On the Wings of Your Love) by Tom Waits. I have no rights to the quote. I do not own or have rights to anyone from the Harry Potter or Twilight universe.
-freakiinglittle
"Miss Black, your mother requests your presence in the den." The house elf squeaked. She was small, or maybe it was a he, I could never tell with the helping creatures. It's wide yellow eyes peaked up at me, not quite in fear but not in respect either. The elf knew I would not hurt it, but it was still wary, completely untrusting. Which I understood. My family treated the elves like trash. It might still be shaken up from my mother, something I could relate to all too well. Of course my mother would never come in find me herself. I knew better than to not go to my mother when asked; the scars across upper my back pays testimony to that. She would never not ask twice. The one time she had, she never had to again.
"Thank you, elf," I said softly, getting up from my bed.
The house elf dismissed itself, disappearing in a loud crack! The house was huge. My father did well in the ministry, not to mention he came from two very wealthy families, which meant he was able to afford my mother's expensive taste. It was finely decorated, like it was out of the pages of Witches' Bewitching Houses. I hated every little thing about it, from the colors of the walls to the small house plants that sat in the corners. The decorations and fancy ornaments were all just a ruse. It was an actually hell. House elves scurried around trying not to be seen as they performed their daily tasks.
It took me a while to descend from the third floor to the first, not that I was rushing with the pain that was currently coursing up and down my legs. My mother sat waiting in her chair; a black chair with a black satin cushion with little intricate designs in silver. Horribly ugly in my own opinion. A horrible grimace crossed my mother's face as I entered the room as if my presence actually pained her.
My mother was Alouetta Black, formerly of House Yaxley. She married my father Nigellus Black, son of Marius Black and Fiammetta Nott, in 1952; an arranged married of course. A few years later in 1956 my oldest brother, Arik, was born and then two years later he was followed by my brother Cygnus. My father was so happy. Two sons. The family was incredibly proud of my mother. Two more boys to carry on the Black family name. Then of course, a year later, I was born and I was definitely not a boy. My mother was so upset, so mortified that I had come out a girl. Her hatred and disgust toward me was something I never understood. My father's cousin's wife bore only three daughters and I knew for certain they were not treated like I had been. It was not till three years later did my parents try to conceive again because they were too afraid to have another girl. Luckily for them, Kendrick was born.
I tried to speak to her in a pleasant tone, but unfortunately my fear and distaste for the woman could be heard in my tone. "You sent for me?"
"Watch how you speak to me, Desdemona," she spat back to me, her silver eyes narrowing, threatening.
"I didn't say anything wrong," I stuttered, trying to defend myself, my heart rate starting to accelerate.
"I said do not!" she shouted, standing up and striding over to me.
I started to cower, backing up until the back hit the wall. I'm sure the fear on my face showed but my mother took no notice, she never did. She took her claw-like hand and hitting me across the face, her nails scratching across my face, drawling out the red blood beneath. I hissed at the stinging sensation but held in my cries and words. I knew it was better to just shut up sometimes. It could only make thing worse and I did not think my body could take another beating at the moment.
"How am I ever going to find you a husband if you can't even speak to your mother respectfully?" she pondered as she sat back down again, patting her red hair into place acting as if she had never even hit me. I knew, however, when her silver eyes met mine, I'd see a hint of satisfaction. She took pleasure in hurting me. It was one of her favorite things. I caused her such "humiliation" being born a girl that she deemed it acceptable to abused me consistently. "All those scars, an ugly face and of course that despicable color you keep your hair do not help me either. Whatever shall I do with you?"
I glared at the floor, wondering what I had done in a past life to deserve such torment each and every day of my life.
"Anyhow, Sirius is in the front hall waiting for you," she said, a slight smirk gracing her pink lips.
I gaped at her. All of this because my friend happened to be waiting for me? I kept my mouth shut as I gathered myself up off the floor, turned away from her and walk away, toward where Sirius was waiting for me.
"Ungrateful scum. Not worth the life I gave her," I heard her mutter behind my back.
I truly was not hurt by the remark; I couldn't be hurt by the remarks any more. I was numb to them after hearing them since I had been born. My parents said horrible and hateful remarks whenever they saw me. They were etched into my skin and engraved into my thoughts. If I had only been a boy, my life would have been a hell of a lot easier. They would harbor no hatred or anger toward me. They would feel no need to hurt me or to neglect me. I would be treated like my brothers, like a part of the family. My parents would love me and tell me so. They might even hug me or kiss my forehead. My brothers would have played with me. But that life would never happen. There was no do over. I came to terms with it a while ago. There was no use dwelling on it.
I went to the main hall to meet Sirius. He stood leaning against the wall, hands shoved into the pockets of his leather jacket, an angry look upon his handsome face. His dark hair hung into his eyes as he glanced around, clearly uncomfortable. Sirius hated my home as much as I did. He grew up in one similar, being my second cousin. My mother accepted Sirius because he was a Black. My other friends were not allowed in the house.
"Desy!" he said, a smile finally gracing his face.
I all but ran the rest the way down the hall to hug him. Sirius had been my savior for most my life, my guardian in this hell He was my safe place, my comfort. We had met when were young, at a family gathering. He was loud and boisterous
for a noble child. He saw my brother's picking on me and whisked me away. From then on out I had always stayed glued to his side. He protected me, picked me and pushed me on in life. Without him, I honestly would never had made it this far.
I pulled away from our hug and smiled up at his face. "Why are you here?"
He took my hand and led me out the front door of the Niorauld Manor. "We're meeting the rest of the Marauders in town. Thought you might want to get out."
"You know me so well, Padfoot," I said as we started off down the street of Borough of Islington. Sirius lived two blocks over which was very convenient since we couldn't use magic to travel yet.
"Of course I do, Desy," Sirius responded as we set off toward town. "How have you been?"
"When I lock myself in my room I tend to be okay," I responded. Though I know it's somewhat of a lie. My parents were able to use their magic to unlock the door which lead to me to be in even more trouble but the few seconds that it buys me allows me to prepare myself for whatever is to come.
"Any more beatings?" he questioned, his tone tight, upset that he still had to ask.
"A few," I murmured, embarrassed. "But what else am I to expect?"
"You shouldn't have to expect this, Des," he sighed.
"Neither of us should Sirius," I reminded him. Sirius understood the best out of any of my friends since he went through it himself. He was loved until his true personality broke through all of the pureblood mannerisms drilled into. Being sorted into Gryffindor did not help his situation either.
"One day, love, we will be living outside of their control and not one person will lay a cruel hand on you nor point a wand at you or even think about harming you in the slightest," he promised, the same promise he always promised.
"Thank you, Sirius," I said. At the same time, I was thanking Merlin for giving me Sirius in my life.
He gave my hand a squeeze before our talk turned more positive. We talked of our coming year as seventh years at Hogwarts and our pranks we might get into. We had to start planning early if we wanted this year to be better than last years. And being that it was our last, we had to go out with something big. I didn't actually prank with the Marauders but helped the boys think out and plan all of their pranks. I was their brain and sense of reason, making sure they did not take a prank too far. Sirius told me of the adventures that he and James had gotten into and of these things called comics that Remus got him hook on. In response, I told him about what Lily and I had gotten up to in the Muggle world so far this summer and of how James and I ate Florean Fortescue out of all of their ice cream one afternoon. Of course, my parents had thought I was with Sirius at both of these times.
As we walked down the street, my eyes noticed a blonde head pulling boxes out a car that was park in front of a house that typically wasn't occupied. Every summer, for a good month or so, a couple would stay there and I happened to know them quite well. My mood escalated as I left Sirius' side and called out, "Carlisle!"
The man, of course, heard my yell and turned his head towards me. I could see his bright smile as I ran as fast as my aching legs would let me toward him. I heard Sirius yelling out for me to come back, but I couldn't stop. As soon as I was a few feet in front of him, he dashed forward and hugged me close to his cold, hard chest.
"Desdemona! It has been quite too long," Carlisle said, holding me close.
Dr. Carlisle Cullen was truly a compassionate person and such a kind soul. He was tall with pale blonde hair and equally pale skin. His eyes were a beautiful shade of gold, a bit darker than they usually were. Though technically, the doctor before me should have red eyes as Carlisle was a vampire. He was special among his own kind, never having spilled human blood. It was the reason why he could hold me so closely, like a father would to his child.
"It has bloody well been too long," I agreed, smiling from ear to ear.
"Watch your language, young lady," Carlisle replied to me as he released me from our hug.
My cheeks became red with embarrassment. "Sorry Carlisle."
"Oi! Des! You cannot just run off on me like that. Who knew someone so short could run so fast. One may start to think you don't want to be seen with me," Sirius said as he jogged up behind me.
"But I don't want to be," I told him, faking a frown. He rolled his eyes at me before looking over the Carlisle. I knew he could tell he was not human but he made no move to go for his wand. "Sirius, this is Carlisle Cullen. Carlisle this is Sirius Black, my second cousin and my best friend."
"It's nice to meet you sir," Sirius said as they shook hands. He did not show an ounce of hesitation while holding the cold hand of a vampire. I guess when you run with a werewolf once a much, supernatural creatures cease to scare you. "It is great to finally meet the one who write to Des and the one she stops everything for to send a letter back to."
"It's my pleasure really," Carlisle said politely. "It is finally great to meet one of the great Marauders. She has told me quite the stories. Come inside, both of you, I was just grabbing the last of our bags. The whole family came this time, Desdemona."
My mood escalated at the thought of meeting the people that Carlisle called family and at seeing his wife Esme again. Sirius grabbed my hand again as we walked inside. Carlisle called out for his family. Esme was already waiting with open arms. She was a beautiful woman with caramel-colored hair that cascaded down her back in soft waves. Her face was heart-shaped with a dimple in her chin that came out when she smiled, so it was practically always present. Her figure is slender, but rounded and soft. Her eyes were a soft gold, but warm and held a forever maternal look to them.
"My dear Des! I have missed you so much!" she cried pulling me into a big hug.
"I missed you too, Esme," I muttered into her shirt. I haven't seen either of them since the beginning of last summer. It became a regular occurrence to see them at some point during the summer ever since I first met them when I was four years old. Carlisle had found me shivering in the rain, banned from the house for the night. The bleeding heart that Carlisle he has allows been, took me in without a second thought. He sewed up my cuts with a muggle technique called stitches while Esme fed me until I could eat no more. Our bond started then and grew each summer I saw them.
"What happened to your face?" she questioned, running her hand softly over the raised marks.
"My mother hit me as I was leaving this morning. Don't worry, they'll be gone soon. It's nothing compared to what she's done before," I told her, brushing off the small injury.
"You sure you are okay? You didn't seem to be running right either," Carlisle asked, concern apparent in his voice.
"She and Arik had what they consider a bit of fun last night," I meekly answered, knowing Sirius would get mad and that Carlisle and Esme would become very upset.
"And how come you didn't tell me this earlier, love?" Sirius asked, anger brewing behind his stormy eyes. "I would have come sooner."
I grabbed his hand to calm him down. "It just happened last night."
"Oh Des, I wish you would just leave and come be with us," Esme pleaded. "We can easily make you disappear. I fear…" She trailed off. I saw what she feared in her eyes, something that Sirius and the rest of our close friends feared as well. That one day, it would go too far and nothing, magic or vampires, would be able to save me.
"You know I can't Esme. Our Ministry would find me." I smiled softly at her wishing with all my heart that I could live with them instead of my biological parents. "Enough of my family problems, can I please meet the rest of your family now?" I begged.