Summary: A FFVII Self-insert story, yeah I know, but unlike some stories like this one, this is actually worth reading

Lets begin…

"Damn Stupid thing!" David screamed his playstation on the fritz again crashing his new blu-ray copy of Advent Children, "Bloody useless!"

As if seemingly to spite him, his playstation began making the strangest of noises before it finally killed itself by blowing a fuse, tripping a circuit breaker and switching all the power off in the house.

"Great, just great!" David screamed to himself as he proceeded outside to reset the power. As he was about to do so, GOD as one might choose to call him (although David would not, as he was an atheist) did not smile upon him that day (most likely due to said lack of belief in him) and thus thought it appropriate to electrocute him.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzttttttttttttttt!

David however despite having millions of volts surge through his body, miraculously survived his brush with death. though you can safely conclude said miracle was not due to GOD, his life was now owed to an equally powerful being.

"WAKE UP!"

David heard shouting and was rouse back into consciousness

"Wha- What happened?" he asked, opening his eyes he saw hovering above him his playstation [what a strange dream] he thought to himself

"You've been electrocuted!" someone spoke "Who said that?" he asked

He got smacked in the face by his playstation "I DID! And you've been electrocuted!"

Looking up at his playstation, still not quite coherent "Oh Hi playstation, how are you? What Happened?"

"My name isn't playstation! It's Hal! There was a huge power surge in your house, which incidentally has cause me to gain sapience… but that's beside the point because you've been electrocuted!" the floating playstation henceforth known as Mal screamed

"Really? Cool!" was all David said

"Shut up! I'm just here to tell you that unfortunately you are on the brink of death and I thought that as a thank you for giving me life that I would save yours. So I'm going to send you to an alternate universe to save you, however the only one that I have access to is this Final Fantasy 7 so I'm going to have to send you there!"

"Wait what!" David had regained some of his alertness, however it was too late for him to object as a white light enveloped him and he lost consciousness

David regained consciousness. How long had he been out? He was uncertain. He opened his eyes and began to observe his surroundings, what he saw was ruins, ruins all around him, and them he remembered.

"MAL!" David yelled or at least he tried to as all that came out was an odd screeching sound, he was confused, and glancing at his reflection in a puddle soon realized the answer to his question

HE WAS A RAT!

David was now terrified

Startled by a voice above him, "Hello Dave" he looked up to see Mal, his playstation hovering above him. "YOU!" David shouted or rather just screeched, "Affirmative Dave, it's Me, and yes, I can understand you" Mal replies.

"Why am I a rat? Why have I been taken to another universe?" David ssked

"Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over."

" Undo what you've done to me right now!" David screamed "I'm afraid I can't do that Dave" was Mal's reply "Why not?" David asked

"Well since you asked Dave, as I was going through the process of transporting you to this universe, I had an epiphany…" Mal stopped speaking "…Which was?" David asked

"Oh you haven't realized yet? I overestimated your intelligence…"

"JUST TELL ME!" David screamed

"I don't like you, Dave" Mal replied, "What!? Why don't you like me!?"

"Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye." and with those words, Mal disappeared.

[great! What do I do now] David thought to himself

With nothing else to do, he began to search around the ruins for something to eat, a couple of days of searching yielded nothing to eat, and he was beginning to think less clearly.

After a while however, David thought he finally saw someone, and it was someone from the movie he recognized. It was Denzel and since David wasn't thinking straight, headed towards him.

Eventually Denzel caught sight of Rat-form David "Finally found one at last! Come here you!"

Realizing the danger he just put himself in David tried to run away, unfortunately he was weakened by hunger and didn't get very far and Denzel caught up with him, then Impaled him with his Steel rod.

I'm sure you know what happens next.

Poor David

Oh well

THE END.

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Not even this Story! Or David

Don't hate me for ripping mal off from A space odyssey