Not a good idea.

I'll play the long game.

I'm in it for the long game.

Long game? Long game.

His mind went around to all the times where both Maya and he had assured each other with this word. He had to smile at this, but it felt like other people could tell he was dying on the inside by recalling all of this. Josh had known Maya for almost twenty years now, since they were very little children; they had vowed to be together one day almost ten years ago, and he couldn't believe how fast time had fled. Wow, this girl really had helped him grow up, and she had been there for him no matter what. Maya was his promise, that when they finally got together everything would be alright. And now he had no clue if anything was ever going to be alright again.

He felt a hand cover his and he suppressed the flinch right away at noticing it was his nephew, Auggie, comforting him silently. The teenager had all of his father's hair now that he had grown up, but did he remind Josh of Topanga alright. Another shark in the family. Auggie's gaze was completely fixated up front the room, seemingly unfocused on how Josh feel would, but he knew.

"Are you okay?" Auggie whispered. He had been a small kid when Maya and Josh first entered to their agreement, but over the years he had taken notice of what was going on between the two and how complicated it had come to be.

"No." Josh answered, truthfully, he wasn't fine, but he had promised Maya he would be here.

"If you want to bail, I'm with you, uncle Josh." Josh gulped and shook his head no. Auggie's voice had deepened over the years and Josh still had a hard time getting used to hearing that instead of the sweet, squeaky voice of his infant years.

"No, I promised I would be here for her." He took a big intake of air. "I won't fail her again. This is her wedding day, I want to be here with her."

"But-"

"Even if it hurts like hell." He finished and he heard Auggie sigh silently and giving up on helping his hopeless uncle.

"I waited on you forever, Maya Hart, and everyone here who has actually known us forever won't let me lie. We were just friends for the longest time, and I have learned to appreciate and love and need every single one of the parts that make you, you. My heart does not belong anywhere else but with you, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't handle it if I were to live without you one day.

Today is the day I get to say all of the things I love about you in front of everyone we know, but it would take forever, and we don't have that kind of time. But this thing I'll say; I love your smile more than anything, I look at your eyes and I'm lost in them, I love your laugh because it seems endless, I love your kindness and I love that you've let me meet the world with you. You're my whole world, Maya." Soon as Zay Babineux finished his vows and everyone had sufficient time to get lost in his words, Josh had decided what he had to do, he was about to stand up in front of the whole church party when two hands steadily took him from the shoulders.

"Josh, you don't want to do this." Cory's voice instantly calmed him down. "I know you're upset right now, but Maya would never forgive you if you ruined her wedding day."

"Cory...I have to."

"She's happy with Zay. Let her have her happiness; she deserves it." Cory's hands were gone the second he finished whispering that. And Josh knew he was no longer going to do something stupid and rash.

At the end, Cory was right, Maya was happy, and Josh had seen so for himself. But he was allowed to be selfish for once. He was allowed to be jealous, jealous that he wasn't the one giving her such happiness and deep down he knew he never would. Just as he finished that thought, he heard the voice that had caused him all that trouble, all that heartache, all that love for as long as he could remember.

"Zay, I know you won't like it when I do this but, Isaiah Babineux." Her church party all laughed and only a few upon the benches did too. "The only thing I've ever wanted since I was a little kid was to feel safe, to feel like I could be myself and nothing else around somebody else; to feel guided and loved, cared for. You've given me all of that and more; you've brought me something I didn't even know existed. I... I won't ever stop being thankful for that and I won't ever forget that you were the first person in my life to make me feel this whole, like I'll never be lacking anything that's important again. And for that and many other things, I love you and I promise to be there and to be faithful, that I won't ever run away, and only escape when it's with you. I promise that when I'm scared you will be the first person I come to and that I'll protect you with the same devotion as you have protected me until now. I promise I will treat this marriage right and that I'll never let go of the good things when bad things do happen. I'll fight with you and for you forever, Zay, I promise."

Josh smiled, he fucking smiled, and he didn't know why. He should've been screaming, he should've been crying and kicking things like a scorned child would. But something in Maya's words had calmed him down, no, even better, something in Maya's words had made him lose on all hope he had about love. He now knew it was useless to feel jealous; he had lost in a war he had come into with an army, and he didn't know why.

He had greeted his whole family after, given that he had come into the ceremony a little late, but nobody noticed him when he came into the church, he just sat down next to his nephew and waited for the bridal party to come in. Josh had been mad because Maya wasn't a catholic and yet she had agreed to all of this church thing because of Zay, that had to say something.

Topanga had been one of the bride's maids along with Cathy, and of course that Riley had been the maid of honor. Josh said hello to the three women right after the ceremony was over.

"You look great, Josh." Topanga said as she reached out and hugged him tenderly. "How has Seattle been treating you?"

"Actually, I love it there. It's not nearly as rainy as they make you believe it is." He wasn't lying; he did love Seattle and his job there. When he finished college, Josh had stayed in New York, working his internship in a really big publisher and after two years of that he had finally admitted that he didn't like his life, so he went away. And he found Seattle, his own big refugee, now he worked as a free-lance reporter for the Seattle Times. He traveled a lot too because of that. And if it weren't for a certain heart-breaking regret he had, he might actually like his life again.

"Well, I'm glad you're happy there." Happy? Who said anything about happiness?

"Yeah, me too." That was a lie, yes. "And you look beautiful, Topanga. Really nice work too, I heard Riley and you organized this whole thing." He said as he took a look around the church; the place decorated meticulously with color lily and white flowers. He smiled again; he knew all of this had been Zay's idea of a wedding; Maya had always said she wanted something simple, only family, she wanted simple and spontaneous. But what the hell did he know, right?

"Thank you, this really took us forever to organize but I think it was worth it." He nodded his head at that.

"It really was." He replied whole heartedly.

"Uncle Josh!" A beautiful brunette tall woman holding the hand of a guy he knew very well but wanted to say he didn't recognize made their way to them. "I'm so glad you're here!"

"Hey Riles." He pulled his niece into a hug. Over the last few years Riley and he had worked on their relationship more; sometimes Josh felt she was the only one who wanted to help him without any bias, even though Maya was her best friend. "You look amazing."

"Thank you. I- you do remember Lucas, right?" She chuckled and looked at the tall, blonde and puppy eyed guy next to her. Josh smiled at him.

"Of course I do, it's been a year, not ten. How are you, Lucas?" He extended his hand for a handshake and the other man returned it in a quite hostile way. Josh frowned lightly at noticing this and Riley sighed.

"Lucas, will you excuse us for a moment?" Riley asked her boyfriend sweetly and the guy nodded once at her before leaving.

"Wow, what the hell did I do to deserve that?" Josh asked to the air.

"You know what you did, Josh, you do." Riley said seriously. "But, in spite of that, I'm glad you could make it, really. Maya had a feeling you wouldn't."

"Why?"

"Well, she thought you would think it awkward. It's been a year, like you said, not ten." Riley placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I was invited, she told me she wanted me to be here. I couldn't bring myself to let her down again." Riley nodded.

"Josh, you have to understand it's no longer you and Maya. That if you let her down it won't matter as much because she has Zay. You need to understand there's no longer a place for you to come back with her if it's not as friends." He didn't say anything for a while, he let the weight of Riley's words register. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that."

"No, you're absolutely right. I'm just, this is hard for me, you know? I shouldn't have come...this is definitely too much for me. Tell Maya I'm sorry I didn't stay for the party, but I have to catch a plane."

He didn't think that much about what he was doing then and there, but he just pushed and ran as far as he could. The wedding was in fucking Farhampton and he had come in by train, so he had to wait in the station for at least two hours for the next train to come, but he didn't care about that in the least. Oh, he had all the time in the world.

Josh had felt like he had walked aimlessly about life for what seemed like forever. And he had never liked that; he needed to have a purpose in life, he needed to have a goal and then he worked day and night just so he could accomplish that. Just so he could call himself a winner.

And now, well, now he felt nothing like a winner.

Just then, a finger poked his arm and he turned around to see a boy who looked to be about eighteen, holding a cigarette in his hand and frowning with concern at him. Had his problems became apparent to everyone around him?

"Dude, your phone's ringing." He said, and then turned around again, smoking his cigarette with all the ease in the world.

Josh grabbed his phone from his pocket and saw the caller ID immediately; it was unknown and just as he was about to turn it down, thinking it was work, he saw the area code: perfect New York.

"Hello?"

"Josh? Where the hell are you?" His heartbeat raised immediately. Where was he again? Why was he here?

"Maya? What are you doing?"

"Don't you dare answer my accusing question with another accusing question, Joshua Matthews." He chuckled in spite of himself. It had been years since she called him that. "I'm standing there, you know, all weddingly and pretty and then comes in Riley saying you left me a message 'Sorry Maya, I had to bail because of a stupid plane.' You know I wanted you to be here."

"I can't, Maya. I just can't. I mean, how would you feel if I invited you to my wedding and made you sit down all through that gooey zap, huh? Make you sit there and watch me vow endless love to another woman." He heard nothing but silence.

"Fair enough. But, Josh, you know I wouldn't just have sat there." He gulped, what did that mean?

"I know that, Maya, but we're different and... I still want you; I still think we're going to end up together someday and just today it hit me that that agreement we had is fucking stupid. Only idiot teenagers would come up with something like that-"

"You came up with that."

"Maya, not right now."

"I find it stupid that we're having this conversation over the phone on my wedding day, Josh, but you already knew that. I already knew how stupid that plan was, but it was a promise and it was all I needed then. Maybe it's all I need now too." Josh breathed in heavily, she was talking like an adult; not teasingly, not like she always talked, and he would have to get used to it. "Are you going to come back? I really meant it, I want you here."

"Why?"

"Because...can't it be just because?"

"You know it can't."

"Fine, because you're the only one that can calm me down and I practically freaked out today because I thought I wouldn't be able to talk to you."

"Sounds like I'm pretty important." She chuckled.

"You are, Josh."

"Where are you calling me from, Maya?" He asked.

"Uh, a waiter lend me his phone, you know, because Riley has mine and if I asked for it to call you, she would think I want to aloof." He smiled. "Please Josh, I promise you a dance?"

"All promises with you, Maya Hart."