Guinea Pig boyfriend.

I ain't update the other fic, I keep getting distracted... but while writing that one I got this idea too.

There were just two important things on Craig's life, his beloved pet and his precious boyfriend Tweek. He loved both of them with all his heart, and both were privileged to being able to see the real Craig often, unlike his infamous cold and heartless status on school, he always was very kind, patient and affectionate towards them.

Stripe #3 passed away not much before Tweek and Craig started dating. Unable to see his boyfriend devastated for the lost, Tweek bought a new guinea pig for him. Unlike Stripe #3, Strip #4 was used to Tweek since day one. With both claiming the furry creature as their child, Stripe #4 was a happy guinea pig with two lovely fathers.

Even when Stripe used to live with Craig, Tweek used to visit him almost everyday and sometimes even take him to his house. They didn't like the divorced couple plan at all, but both were still too young to live together, even when it seemed like they did since Tweek spend mostly of his time at Craig's house.

Today was no exception, and as a calm and chilling day both proud 'parents' were hanging out at Craig's room with Stripe's company. They loved to just put him in the floor and allow him to run around like good parents taking their child to the park to play.

"How is Stripe doing today? Is he still sick?"

"He's fine. He just ate too much last time and that made him sick. I won't overfeed him again."

"You'll do. You are too weak to resist him!"

"Hey! I can be a strict dad if I want! If I say no, it's no, Stripe."

The little guinea pig just stared at Craig who was holding the cause of Stripe's yesterday stomachache, a new brand of special treats he just loved and didn't stop asking for. Craig noticed the furry creature staring at the bag and immediately put a serious face.

"No, Stripe. Too much it's bad for you. You ate a lot yesterday, you can wait a day more."

Without using words but still able to express himself, Stripe began to make little quick noises like is he was pleading or arguing with Craig's statement.

"Stripe! I said no!"

The guinea pig stared directly at the noirette still making those peculiar noises and started to climb on Craig's clothes making his way to the bag while glancing at his irrational father.

"Stripe, Don't… I'm not gonna break that easy!" The rodent was crawling at Craig's chest, making direct eye contact with him while 'talking' on guinea pig language with him seemed to do the thing. "Goddammit, Stripe… Fine! But not much. I don't want you to get sick again."

Craig took some treats from the bag and offered them to Stripe on his hand,the guinea pig immediately jumped to his open palm and dig in the food.

"I told you! You are so fucking weak!" The blonde laughed.

"It's not my fault! He's too damn cute. I just can't resist it."

"I just hope you grow some balls later, I don't want my children to be little brats because one of his fathers get them everything they want." Tweek teased.

Craig adored when Tweek teased him, talk back was fun, and heck his boyfriend knew how to roast him back. Maybe he was a little masochist? Maybe it was just entertaining, or maybe he just liked Tweek's forcefully attitude to show up often.

"Oh yeah? Well, I need to compensate them since their other father will never get them anything at all. Children need some motivation some times too, you know?"

"That's manipulation! And I'm not a bad dad if that's what you are trying to say."

Craig hold Stripe pressing him against his chest. "Careful my son. Mommy is mad!"

"Ugh! You act like a child! I'm not a mom!"

"You are just as bossy as one."

"But I'm not! Besides, no mom means they'll be invulnerable to 'yo mamma jokes'!"

Both laughed for a moment, it was true after all? Maybe? Dunno… leaving aside they're parenting arguments, they pilled all the pillows in the floor. Today a new was airing a new episode of Philip and Terrance both have been wanting to watch for over a week. And today seemed like the perfect day to chill out with each other, and show their child some high quality TV show and not that modern garbage everyone complains about.

Resting in the cozy nest, they put Stripe between them and turned on the TV. However Stripe seemed more interested in the bag Craig was still holding. Knowing Stripe would do anything to reach it, leave it anywhere would be a bad idea, specially when nothing seemed to stop the adventurous guinea pig. He still remembered that time the new kid helped him to catch him in the basement. Stripe #4 sure was tough and almost unstoppable. If it weren't for his incredible farts maybe they wouldn't ever catch him.

"No, Stripe. You had enough for today."

"You know you'll end up giving in, right?"

"Thank you for believe in me, honey. I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome~ "

"Since when you are a sarcasm pro?"

"Since I date a sarcastic dick. He didn't seemed to talk anything but sarcaism, so I had to learn the language to communicate since he didn't care about learning regular english talk."

"And what language is this? Fucking french?"

"There it is again. I wonder if he can speak something else."

"In case you didn't notice I speak Guinea pigean and Tweekish too. I understand both of you when NONE uses actual words."

"Hey I talk normally!"

"I still understand you when you don't. Just like guinea pigs you make very specific noises for determinate situations and I can translate every single of your tics just like I do with Stripe."

"Ngh! Y-You don't!"

"Like that. That sound means you are frustrated. Usually means you are getting pissed too."

"AGH! Shut up!"

"That too. You do that one when you ARE mad."

"AGH! Craig! Stop it! You don't know any-"

*CRASH!*

"GAH!"

A loud sound boomed in the house, Tweek jumped in the air and after panic a few seconds on the same spot he eventually hide under the bed. Like father, like son… Stripe did too. Guinea pigs were naturally nervous and fearful creatures with weak hearts. Such simple thing as bathing them might be such a traumatic experience the stress might gave them a heart attack and die.

"Sorry about that, boys!" Laura exclaimed from the kitchen. "The package was heavier than it looks like!"

"Ok, mom."

Craig just sit up, looking in his bed direction. Two frightened beings with wide eyes, messy hair, trembling and making their very own noises to show how scared they were, were hiding above the furniture.

Without a word, Craig's hand dig inside the treat bag and grabbed a generous portion, he placed them in the floor just in front of him and tapped with his fingers while doing a weird noise trying to imitate Stripe's regular squeak.

Hesitating, Stripe poke his head off the safety bunker smelling the air. He spotted the treats but wasn't enough. Then Craig began to tape the floor and calling for him to get close. Even as a guinea pig Stripe knew what that meant. The sound and the tapping usually were translated as an 'everything is ok, come here' and Craig's serene presence confirmed it.

The rodent leaved the safety of the space under the bed and walked still a little unsure towards Craig. Once at a close range, Craig offered him one of the treats, Stripe accepted it and returned to the regular Stripe allowing Craig to pet him and release any remaining fear away from the furry bean.

"You end up eating more than the allowed… I'm such a terrible father. I just hope you don't get sick again."

One less, one to go. Craig's attention turned back to his bed, Tweek was still there twitching and biting his lower lip. He was still scared. Craig simply stood up and leaved the room. Tweek could hear him going downstairs and some kind of conversation between him and his mother. Soon enough the steps were coming upstairs as well as a familiar smell, the door opened with Craig holding a mug, the mug specifically assigned to Tweek by the Tuckers, a mug nobody but him could use. The just bought it for him.

Craig sit at Stripe's side and pet him again while the rodent stuffed himself with food. Just like before he placed the mug in the floor and looked at the bed.

"My dad left a box at the kitchen table this morning. Mom was gonna use it so she wanted to move the package, however the box contained some kind of statue the asian girls send to my dad… I dunno what it was about, and I'm kinda glad I don't knowing them. But it broke in the floor and it's what made the noise."

Tweek stared back, the story made sense, yet the surprising noise just animated his panic mode and was hard to stop trembling.

"Tweek, it's fine. Nothing is gonna hurt you. Come here"

Craig opened his arms making eye contact with the blond. Calm him down was usually easy but once Tweek hide the difficult was increased. He always refused to leave and try to force him out just made things worst every time somebody tried, the best shot was convincing him everything was fine and offering something to comfort him. Coffee or Craig's arms. Any option would be fine, still Craig hopped Tweek will choose him first instead of the mug.

The blond looked around and then back to Craig and the mug, Stripe was at the side still eating without a worry. He sure was the clearest sign everything was fine, if it wasn't he'd be just as nervous and scared as him.

Tweek slowly crawled out, and with shy steps he walked towards Craig, half of the way he just rushed and grabbed the mug sipping the black liquid.

"You just broke my heart…" Craig sigh putting his arms down, he expected Tweek to choose the mug of course! But he was still hurt. "I truly hope you'd come to me first."

"I-I'm sorry! It's just.. GAH! I can't help it, man!"

"I know… but it stills hurts. Even Stripe ran to the food first instead of my hand..."

"Don't gah! Don't be a pussy, Craig!"

Tweek allowed himself to fall into Craig. He instinctively hugged the blond preventing him to fall and get hurt. He was still twitching but the most he stayed on Craig's arms the less frequent the spasms were. Just like with Stripe, the noirette pet and played with his hair to relax him. A few minutes after stroke that spiky golden hair the twitching was completely gone.

"You are not twitching anymore…"

"Thanks to you, Craig."

"I thought you said it was coffee."

"Coffee just calms me down, but you are who make me feel safe enough to drink it without a care. Right, Stripe?"

Craig looked down, on his palm was Stripe stroking his head against Craig's hand. The noirette smiled and pet his head, his fur was very soft, just like Tweek's hair. Actually both were way too familiar, maybe Tweek used to be a guinea pig on a past life, that might explain a lot of things. Craig smiled at the thought.

"Craig, can I have another coffee?"

Craig looked at the blond who was holding his empty cup with both hands. "No, too much it's bad for you."

"Spoil our child letting him eat trash until explode but you can't give your love another cup?"

"Hey! That's manipulation! And no, it's late and you won't sleep properly if you drink too much now."

"Remember… you are weak, Craig~ "

"Oh no… No! No. No. No"

If there was something cuter than Stripe was Tweek. Stripe was adorable, but Tweek was just beautiful, his shy smile, his white skin with almost invisible freckles, and his huge and bright green eyes looking directly at his soul was a fatal combo for Craig's strong will.

"Tweek, no! You seductive little-" Craig gulped when Tweek batted his eyelashes quickly while staring at him. "…goddammit… fucking Dejá Vu."

That night Craig looked at the ceiling on his room thinking on how similar the most important beings on his life were, how far they've gone without dying from a heart attack, the seductive nature of them strong enough to surrender to their wishes and if that would be actually bad for raising his future children like Tweek said.

Also... how would they call themselves? The Tweaks? The Tuckers? Maybe change their last names and be 'The Guineas'? that sounded dumb… yet he had much time to think. With a blond unable to sleep, twitching and babbling at his side while waiting for underpants gnomes to show up and a guinea pig crying in discomfort for eat too much, this was going to be a long night for Craig, the voice of reason none of his loved ones listen to.