A.N: Hello there! One thanks for reading my story ( well about to be reading my story, but you get it, right? :s) Two, this was an English assignment a recreation based on Macbeth, I picked Lady Macbeth's madness so yeah this is just a little dark and creepy. Three, I hope you enjoy it and become thoroughly confused by the craziness that my sleep deprived mind turned out. Also I hope you all have an awesome summer! x
Disclaimer: The plot does come from Macbeth, so anything you recognise from that not mine. Additionally i do not have schizophrenia i don't know anyone with it either all i know about the condition is from the internet and other such sources. My intention was not to portray it in a bad light or make anyone with the condition feel uncomfortable, I understand that it's a serious condition and hope everyone knows that as well. Please don't take offence, at the end of the day it's just a story written by a young girl. However the issues in the story are serious, i do hope you enjoy it though
One…Two…Three…Four…Dark
"Do sheep count humans as they try to sleep?"
Black, emptiness. Wide eyes starred into mine burning with curiosity and amusement, I turned over, dragging myself from his penetrating gaze. Sleep. Dreamless. Peaceful. Sleep. Was it too much to ask?
"You'll never fall asleep that way"
Mocking. His tone was nothing but mocking, if only I could reach, just stretch, and then wring his pasty little neck. Instinctively my wrists flick out, only to connect with cold metal and rebound off smooth leather.
"They'll sedate you again if you fight. That's what you want though isn't it. Weak, too weak to even fall asleep"
His words rolled off me, lost in the darkness.
One…Two…Three…Fo-
"DON'T IGNORE ME!"
My body was snapped back to the bed, the leather bounds holding me down, flinging my flinching body back to the lumpy mattress. My breath held in my throat trapped by cold hands. I traced them up to blazing blue eyes, gleaming with sadistic glee. He released, looming over me, surrounding me with all consuming darkness.
I couldn't breath. I couldn't think. I couldn't feel. Not without him. No, I couldn't ignore him, ever.
"Won't stop…"
"Can't get near…"
"Sed-….."
"Screaming woke u-…."
"…-es, maybe…."
"…. -etting worse"
"…-vate war-.."
"…away…"
"….Mother…"
Orange, the sun, life. It burned so much. Everywhere hurt, and yet I couldn't feel it at all. I was above it, away. Cold, his cold hands clasping around my throat. Something was holding me down; my body thrashed and writhed against my new restraints. Didn't they understand? I needed to leave, escape, he would catch me, kill me! A word one word ran across my mind. Mother.
"….higher dosage"
White, clean, clinical. The smell of bleach filled my nostrils.
"She's a danger, to herself and other's"
"Sedation keep's her complacent"
"You wouldn't want your daughter to hurt herself now, would you?"
Worried faces. I knew them, from a distant memory. I grunted as I saw a flash of blue then the turned around to face me. Me, the danger. They were dangerous they hated me, tried to kill me, I wouldn't let them ever. Hazel, warm and sad. Home. She had my eyes.
"Mum" Coarse, I sounded dead, emotionless.
"Shh, baby, sleep now, Mummy's here"
Tears, there were always tears. He never cried.
"They're trying to kill me mum you won't let them will you?"
"It's ok Kathy, it'll all be okay"
Who for mum me or you? Then it was black, and all I could remember was the tears.
Cream, maybe, no, darker much darker. A dull and faded yellow peeling off in places, a border of white birds flying free etched on a background of supposed cheer, yes yellow. A flash of silver followed by a tingle in my arm, my eyes rolled up in my head and all I knew was yellow.
The days hazed by, one drug filled moment blurring into another. Familiar faces meshed with cold glances. I was apart of none of it. Languidly moving through, once again floating above everything. In and out. Blank spots then vivid pictures. All the while he whispered.
Filled my head with his ideas and thoughts, he had a plan, a brilliant plan. All the while I listened. As they pumped me with more drugs and sent me to see more doctors. As my mother's visits became fewer and further between. I listened and I thought. I thought and I listened. Not to the doctors who told me I needed to 'let them help'. Not to the psychiatrist who told me he 'knew how I felt' not to my mother who promised 'it would be okay'.
It wasn't enough never enough. The drugs never made him go away, the darkness never hid him and the light never burned him. I was glad he was all I had now. So I listened to him, he promised me freedom. I realized he was the one I should trust, not them none of them. They couldn't help, they didn't know, and it would never be okay; because they didn't care. He cared. He told me what they really said, behind my back. Mad. Crazy. Freak. Schizophrenic.
They were the crazy ones, mad on power. Freaks of nature. They held me and drugged me and hurt me. Made me talk and share and listen.
I was angry so angry, and all I could see was that. Red.
Then I was awake and it was green, so green. Trees.
"Run, don't look back just run!"
He took my hand, and we ran. I heard the shouts and cries along with heavy footsteps chasing behind. I let out a cry of pure unadulterated joy. I was free.
Yet, all I could remember was red. Then the moonlight glinted off the knife tightly clutched between my fingers, slowly, dripping, red. My heart throbbed in my ears, my thumping footsteps grew louder and louder.
"Don't dwell on it, it'll only drive you mad" A sickening grin marred his face.
Then I remembered. The bells, screams of terror, the blood, so much blood. Tearing my hand away that one word played over and over in my head. Mad. I was mad. I was a murderer. A mad murderer. The glinting evidence of my guilt lying innocently in my bloodied palm.
Green and red blurred together.
"We have to run" He was smiling, smiling
"No!"
I was strong now, stronger than him.
"You will, come with me" He pulled my wrists as the approaching footsteps drew closer.
I shook my head pulling away, I didn't need him now, I had freedom, I was free, free!
ONE
The footsteps drew nearer as he moved closer.
"Now, or they'll take you back "His mocking face no longer scared me
TWO
Those blazing blue eyes showed fear. I was stronger. I stepped back knocking a rock over into nothingness. His eyes flashed as he moved closer still.
THREE
Another step back and my foot slipped into air, he pulled my arm and I resisted.
"Kathy." A scream. He pushed.
FOUR
Then I was flying. Free. Like the birds on the yellow wallpaper. A small whisper latched onto the wind "Life's but a walking shadow"
The last thing I saw was cold blue, signifying nothing.
DARK
