Speak Now

Chapter 1: Mine

Beautiful. That's the first word that comes to my mind when it comes to Kelly. I watch her joke around with Chase, and I can't help but smile at the sound of her laughter. She has such a beautiful laugh. There are no words to describe it, but it makes me feel all warm inside.

Kelly notices me watching, and in her flirtatious manner, blows me a kiss.

I pretend to catch it, then blow one right back at her.

She smiles. Her smile is another thing I love. I know it sounds so clichéd, and I know that the line has been used more times than I can count, but her smile could light up the darkest of rooms. In fact, I had no doubt it could light up the whole world.

She made her way over to me, and wrapped her arms around me. "Muah!" she said, giving me a loud, over exaggerated kiss on the cheek. "Hello, my Darling, how are you today?"

I smiled at her, and kissed her cheek. "Much better now."

She kissed my cheek again. "I'm really looking forward to tonight!" she told me.

I grinned. "Me too." We had an event that we were going to together that night. It was the L'Oreal Paris Legends Gala to benefit ovarian cancer research. She had invited me to be her guest since Marcus, her boyfriend, was going to be working with a client. It wasn't the first event I had gone to with her, but, still. Like I said, I was looking forward to it. I loved going to events with Kelly. It was one night (or day, depending on what time the event was), that I could secretly, in my mind, pretend that we were a couple. It was like testing the waters before jumping in. Kelly was always so flirty, it didn't take much of a stretch to the imagination. It also helped that our significant others weren't there.

Kelly latched onto my arm. "I hope you don't mind, but, the client Marcus was supposed to be meeting with, fell sick, and had to postpone their appointment. So, I told Marcus he could still join us tonight if he'd like, and he wants to."

Of course he does, I thought with annoyance. I put on a smile that was fake, but looked real, due to my professional acting ability. "He's your boyfriend. Why would I mind?" Then, I silently added, He should have just stayed home and let us have our night!

It wasn't that I didn't like the guy. He was nice, and I did appreciate that he never grew all huffy or possessive when Kelly and I went off and did our own thing together without him. After all, there was nothing worse than an untrusting lover who acted more like your prison guard than your lover. I don't know. There was just something about him that I didn't like. Maybe it was the fact that he wore suits ninety-eight percent of the time, and scarves the other two percent. It's like, you're a lawyer. Hello! We get it! Do you really need to wear suits even when you're not working? And, you like scarves, let's not overplay the accessories now. Then there was the fact that he seemed so serious a lot of the time. True, I've seen him cut loose sometimes. He wasn't a total bore. But still... Then there's the age thing. He was only about four years older than her, but still he seemed way older. I guess maybe it was because he actually looked more like he was about twenty years older than her instead of only four. Not that I was one to talk since I am dating a girl who is eighteen years my junior, but at least I don't look like I'm sixty years old.

"Is that all right?"

I snapped back to attention when Kelly asked me something. "I'm sorry, I must have zoned for a moment."

Kelly smirked. "Am I that boring?" she teased.

I tried my best to stay serious. I crossed my arms over my chest. "Frankly, yes."

She looked shocked, but I couldn't keep my smile hidden, so she quickly caught on that I was joking.

"You're such a butt!" she said, playfully swatting my shoulder.

"But you love me anyway," I said with a proud grin.

She sighed, and crossed her own arms over her chest. "That I do. Anyway, I said that we could just meet there. I know we were going to head over together, and we still could! It's just that, since Marcus is going too now, it might take longer. You know, it takes longer for two people to get ready than one, and—"

I cut her off. "I get it. We can just meet at the doors at seven, or whenever you guys get there." I couldn't help but wonder if they planned on having a little bedroom fun before the event. I know my girlfriend Leyla and I had done so before some of the events she and I had gone to. It's just that I see Leyla in her underwear, getting ready to put her dress on, then one thing leads to another, and... Yeah, I didn't want to imagine such a scene with Marcus and Kelly. Otherwise, I might be too ill to attend tonight. And I'd be damned if I was going to not go all together, and let her go alone with him.

"Great! Now, let's go. They want us on the set." Kelly winked at me, then grabbed my hand, and dragged me out to the set.

I smiled. "At least on set, filming, was one time that Marcus couldn't intrude on.

~You are the best thing that's ever been Mine~

"Rufus Humphrey, you make me feel like the luckiest woman on earth!" Kelly said as Lily. She wrapped her arms around me.

I wrapped my arms around her, and spoke as Rufus. "Ah, but it's I who am the luckiest man on earth," I told her.

She grinned, then, with a tiny little moan that only made me even hungrier to kiss her, she closed her eyes, and pulled me in for a long, and passionate kiss.

I loved kissing her. She was an amazing kisser—better than Leyla, even. I continued kissing her even after the director called cut.

Kelly smiled against my lips, and to my delight, continued kissing me for a moment longer. All right so it was really only a couple seconds after the director called cut that she broke the kiss. But at least she had let it linger too, even if it was only for a couple few seconds.

She rested her forehead against mine, and took my face between her hands. "The director called cut, you know."

"I know, but you're just so damned irresistible, I couldn't help but get a few more kisses in. It never hurts to practice for next time, you know," I said, only half joking. "If my memory serves me correctly, we have another kiss or two coming up in the script."

She grinned. "You're crazy."

"In a good way, right?" I joked, a grin on my face as I raised my eyebrows up and down.

"Oh, very!" she said with a wink. "I have to go do my scene with Kaylee." She pat me on the shoulder, then was off to shoot a scene Lily had with Charlie, aka Ivy. She smiled over her shoulder at me along the way.

I smiled back, then sighed when she was out of sight. She sure had a way of keeping me reeled in.

Kelly had said in the recent past that we could never date each other because we loved each other too much. I halfway understood it. I mean, in some ways, we could date, but then things could go badly, we could break up, and our friendship could end up never being the same again. On the other hand, I'd like to believe that, if we did end up breaking up, we'd both still love each other enough to never let it end badly. We'd love each other enough to remain just as close of friends as we were before we started dating, if not closer. I don't know. Maybe that was a little unrealistic in thinking that way. But I knew of couples who had divorced and were still good friends. Besides, if Kelly, and I were to start dating, who's to say it would end badly?

I sighed. But, she was dating Marcus, and I was dating Leyla. Though, in all fairness, right from the time Leyla and I started getting serious, I told her that Kelly was very important to me, and we were closer than most people were with each other. I told her I had feelings for Kelly, and though probably nothing serious would ever come out of it, she had to be all right with how I felt about Kelly if she (Leyla) and I were going to date. Leyla had agreed that Kelly could be the one person I could cheat with, then she could have one person she could cheat with. I had asked her who, and she said she didn't have anyone in particular in mind, but, if the day came where she found someone, she could. We had shook on the deal. Then kissed on it. Then... You get the picture.

I guess it was kind of an unconventional relationship that Leyla and I had—having one person that we could cheat with and get away with it. Though, as big as this world was, I'm sure we weren't the only couple with those rules. It wasn't completely unheard of. I usually don't like sharing my women, but, to keep it fair, I had to let Leyla have someone else as well. Being married changed me. I will not say anything bad about my ex-wife. Our marriage just didn't work out. I found out that I wasn't the marrying type, but she was, and that was the end of that. Now, I don't ever want to feel completely tied down again. It feels like I'm suffocating. And, when I feel like I'm suffocating, my relationship skills suffer. And when my relationship skills suffer, the relationship suffers. So, that is why I made Kelly totally on limits even though I was with Leyla.

I sometimes wondered if I really loved Leyla, or if I was just using her to feel younger. In some ways, I feel younger at heart. I'm a little bit immature for my age, so I date people on the same maturity level that I am. In addition, dating a younger woman helps me feel younger. I guess, deep down, I did love Leyla. But I had to wonder if I was in love with her. Sure she was sweet and beautiful. The sex was incredible. She is from Rome, and everyone knows how much I love Rome. And of course she was amazing for agreeing to dating me despite how I felt about Kelly, let alone allowing me to cheat with Kelly. Though, she did have permission to cheat as well. Still, how many girls would allow sharing their man? Not many. On the other hand, if I really was truly in love with Leyla, I shouldn't even be giving Kelly a second thought, now, should I? And, if Leyla was really in love with me, she would never share me or want to even think about sleeping with another man. Then again, I hadn't really given her a choice. Maybe she loves me so much, she accepts it—no matter how much she doesn't like it—just to keep me. Then again, wouldn't she turn down her being able to cheat with another man, and just let me cheat with Kelly if I ever wanted to? Or maybe she was hoping to make me jealous by saying she could cheat on me too.

I sighed again. I was so confused.

"Come on!" Kelly said, suddenly appearing behind me, her arms wrapped around me from behind. "They want us to tape our next kissing scene." She kissed my cheek with a loud smack.

I turned around, and grinned at her. "Mm, my favorite kind of scene to shoot other than the bed scenes. You know, we really should have more of those." I raised my eyebrows up and down at her suggestively.

She grinned, and took my hand, leading me over to where we needed to be. "I couldn't agree with you more!"

I smirked. "I knew she was just being flirty, and didn't really mean much by it. But, still, a little part of me couldn't help but think that, if she wanted bedroom scenes with Rufus, she might not be totally opposed to bedroom scenes with me. Hey, a man could dream, couldn't he? And you never know. Sometimes, dreams come true.

~You are the best thing that's ever been Mine~

I looked at my watch. I was right on time, but Kelly and Marcus were so far, five minutes late.

Just when my stomach started to churn at the thought of what they could be doing, they arrived, hand-in-hand. I fought to not roll my eyes.

Kelly smiled when she saw me, then let go of Marcus' hand, and went right over to me. She pulled me in for a hug, and kissed both my cheeks. "Good evening, Matthew."

I smiled, and gently rested my hand over her back as I kissed her cheeks in return. "Good evening! You're looking incredibly beautiful, as usual."

She blushed, then grinned. "And you're looking pretty good yourself, Gorgeous!"

I grinned as well. I bet you think I look even more gorgeous than your little boyfriend over there. I wanted to say it, but I couldn't of course.

I nodded at Marcus, then extended a hand to him. "You're looking pretty dapper tonight! I can see why you're almost always wearing suits! You look good in them." It was mainly kissing up, I'll admit. I had to keep him on my side, otherwise he might start throwing his weight around, and make it so that Kelly and I never get to do events or get togethers without him anymore. But, some of it was honesty. For an old (looking) guy, he didn't look bad in a suit, as much as it annoyed me that he wore them all the time. And, he was a nice guy. He was always nice to me. I guess my jealousy was the only thing that made him not my favorite person. That and the fact that, whether Kelly was with me or not, I just didn't think he was the right man for her. A person could be as nice as could be, and still not be meant for someone. He and Kelly were just two different people. He had his fun side, sure. But his serious side was way too serious for Kelly even on Kelly's most serious of days. Kelly just never got to that point of seriousness. She's too fun-loving for that. That is one of the things I love best about her.

Marcus shook my head, and smiled. "You're looking pretty debonair yourself! You should wear suits more often. Don't knock it till you try it." He winked.

"I'd look kind of silly, not being a lawyer or anything that requires a suit," I said with a wink back.

"You can never look silly in a suit," Marcus said.

You can when you wear them too much, I wanted to say, but, of course, also kept that one to myself.

Kelly then linked her arms with Marcus and I—one of us on each side of her, and we headed off to find our seats.

We got to the table, for they were serving dinner at the event. I rushed on ahead, and pulled out Kelly's chair.

"You're such a gentleman! Who says chivalry's dead?" she asked, blowing me a kiss.

I grinned; proud that I had gotten to her seat before Marcus had.

She sat down, and I pushed her chair in for her. Then, I went to sit down next to her, but saw that Marcus had already taken the seat next to her, and had his chair practically on top of hers.

He was her boyfriend, so I couldn't get upset with him. Still, I couldn't help but think about how that would have been my chair, had his stupid meeting not have been cancelled.

I took a seat next to Marcus on his other side, since the chair on the other side of Kelly was already occupied.

"Everything sounds good!" Marcus said to Kelly as they looked over the list of food that would be served.

Kelly licked her lips. "Mm, yes it does!"

Marcus turned to me. "Does it look good to you?"

I smiled. "Yeah, it does. One nice thing about being rich is they always serve us good food!"

Marcus chuckled. "Yeah. It's definitely not McDonald's food."

"Actually, I find Mc Donald's food quite good," I said with a grin.

Marcus nodded, and pat his stomach. "Me too, but this stuff you can eat more of without worrying about gaining ten pounds or dying of a heart attack."

I laughed. "True, true."

Kelly smiled, apparently happy to see Marcus and I getting along. Not that we didn't get along. I kept my disses to myself. I was sure he probably had a few silent disses for me occasionally as well.

Seriously though, Marcus wasn't a bad guy. He treats Kelly right—at least from what I've seen. He's always nice to me, so I in turn am nice to him. It still didn't mean I liked him with Kelly though.

A photographer came over then, and wanted to take a picture of us all.

Marcus leaned in even closer to Kelly, and she played right into it, leaning so that their heads were touching.

I tried to lean in, and even smiled big, but I was sure the picture would still come out looking like I wasn't even part of the picture. I felt like saying something, but kept my mouth shut. Whether I liked it or not, Kelly and Marcus were dating, and I really had no right to complain. Well, maybe I had a little right to complain since she had invited me, and since I was her friend. Dating or not, they should have at least included me in the picture. Marcus could have put his hand on my shoulder or something. After all, guys posed with other guys like that all the time.

At least, I was included in the conversation by both Kelly and Marcus both while we waited for our dinner to arrive, and while we were eating.

"We had such good scenes today. Matthew and I had a few kissing scenes." Kelly winked at Marcus. "Rufus is as good a kisser as you!"

"Oh, really?" Marcus asked with a grin. "I don't think so!" He pulled Kelly in for a deep and passionate kiss before she even had time to react. He kissed her long and hard, and I nearly tossed my dinner back up.

She licked her lips and smiled after the kiss. "Yeah, you definitely kiss better than Rufus. I stand corrected!" She giggled.

Marcus then smirked at me, and clasped a hand over my shoulder. "Sorry, Matt, but I am the better kisser." He winked.

"That's only because I was kissing her as Rufus. Had I been kissing her as Matthew, you wouldn't stand a chance!" I joked back. At least, I let my tone sound as if I was joking. Actually, I had no doubt in my mind, I could kiss Kelly so good her head would spin.

He grinned. "Too bad for you, we're just going to take your word for that!" he said, giving my shoulder a clap, before turning back to finish his dinner.

"Don 't worry. You still kiss amazing as Rufus," Kelly told me with that beautiful smile of hers.

"Why thank you! I do the best they allow for public television," I told her with a wink.

She giggled, and I felt my heart pound. She had a way of making it do that.

~You are the best thing that's ever been Mine~

There wasn't much conversation between us as we listened to the guest speakers. Dessert was also brought out, and we all enjoyed that.

After dessert and the guest speakers' speeches, we all got up to mingle.

Photographers came over, and wanted to photograph Kelly.

"That's my girlfriend," Marcus said proudly as he watched Kelly pose for pictures like a pro, flashing her killer smile.

"And my TV wife," I joked.

Marcus snorted.

I wondered if he was laughing to be polite, or if he was making fun of me. I decided to think the best of him, and go for the first option.

"Matthew! Come over here beside Kelly! I want some shots of the two of you together," one of the photographers called to me.

I grinned at Marcus. "I've been beckoned." I then headed over to Kelly, and placed my arm around her lower waist. I loved resting my hand just above her bottom. Sometimes even on her bottom, but I figured I should play it nice and respectful since Marcus was watching us. Kelly never seemed to mind it. It was Marcus I had decided to be respectful to. I surprised myself even by showing him respect.

I rested my head against Kelly's for one of the shots. More than one photographer was taking pictures of us by now. I was loving every moment of being seen with her.

After the photographers were done, Marcus pushed his way between us, and wrapped his arm around Kelly. "You look so beautiful up here, I just had to come over and get photographed with you. I want everyone to know you're with me."

Kelly smiled at him, adoringly, and wrapped her arm around his waist.

I stepped aside, knowing I had no choice, and the photographers took a few shots of them together.

I felt a little pang of jealousy when I thought of how she had just draped her arm over my shoulders, whereas she had put her arm around Marcus' waist. Then again, draping an arm over my shoulder showed how comfortable she is with me. Whereas, I've even seen her with her arm around other women before. So, maybe an arm around the wist wasn't the best thing to get from her after all. I knew I was just being stupid, but that is what a woman could do to a man sometimes—make him stupid.

One of Kelly's friends came over to her then, and the two of them talked for a bit. Then, her friend saw Marcus.

"Is that the new boyfriend?" her friend asked, nodding at Marcus.

Kelly grinned widely. "Why, yes, it is! Come over here, Honey!" she ordered.

Marcus smiled, and did as told.

He winked at me before heading over to Kelly and her friend.

My mouth dropped open. Was he trying to send me a signal? Was he trying to say a silent "Ha ha!" by winking at me? Maybe I was just being paranoid.

Kelly introduced her friend and Marcus to each other, and soon, all three of them were chatting it up. They all looked happy, laughing, and having a good time.

Marcus laughed at something, then looked me straight in the eyes. The look he gave me—an eyebrow raised and a smirk that was quick, but not missed—told me I hadn't read into the wink he had previously given me upon walking over there.

Before I could really react, Marcus turned his attention back to Kelly and her friend, laughing with them over who knew what.

I sighed. The event was mainly over anyway. I could tell when I wasn't wanted. Not that I was keen on catering to Marcus, but Kelly wasn't exactly paying me much attention.

I headed over to the three of them. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I think I'm going to head out."

Kelly looked at me, and surprisingly, looked a little disappointed. "Already?"

I nodded. "Yeah, it's getting late. I wanna get home and call Aven up before her bedtime." It wasn't a total lie. It was all true what I told Kelly. I just happened to leave out the part that I was feeling like a third wheel. I didn't want Kelly to feel guilty. Besides, I was sure now that that was just what Marcus wanted to hear.

Kelly pouted, but then hugged me. She kissed my cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow in the studio. Have a goodnight. Tell Aven I said hello."

"I will," I said, my hands lingering on her lower back for a moment.

Our eyes were locked on each other's. I felt my heart start to pound again.

Then, Marcus cleared his throat, ruining the moment.

I let go of Kelly, then nodded at Marcus. I held out a hand to him, wanting to be polite for Kelly's sake.

Marcus took my hand, and we shook.

Marcus nodded politely at me as well. "Have a goodnight."

"Thanks. You too," I said.

Kelly smiled at me, and our eyes locked again for a brief moment before a photographer interrupted, asking for a picture of Kelly with her friend.

Kelly obliged, and that was that.

I could hear Kelly's, her friend's, and Marcus' laughter as I walked away. I could also hear the photographer saying he now wanted a picture of the three of them together.

I left the event with a sigh. I honestly didn't know what was going through Marcus' head. One moment he was sending me unwelcoming signals, then, the next, he was shaking my hand, and wishing me a goodnight. True, I had initiated the handshake, but he had told me to have a goodnight before I told him to have a goodnight.

But, it didn't matter where Marcus and I stood. The bottom line was, tonight had made me make a decision. Marcus wasn't right for Kelly. I was beginning to think I was. She made me feel happier than I've ever felt whenever I was with her. In fact, she was the only person on earth I could ever see myself changing my mind about not getting married again and marrying. It was settled—no pun intended with my last name being Settle. I didn't care how long it took—Marcus or no Marcus, I was going to make Kelly mine.