Can Dandelions Really Do That?
Strong Bad lay motionless on the couch. It had been some time since anything interesting happened to him, which was at least an hour ago when he kicked Strong Sad in the stomach. The Cheat lay on the floor beside him, equally bored and motionless.
"The Cheat, get me a drink." Strong Bad commanded in a monotone voice. The Cheat responded by raising his arm. "Hey, don't flip me off! Just get me a drink."
"Meh, memehehmememeh." The Cheat replied.
"What d'ya mean there aren't any drinks? We need to find another way to get more drinks…"
"Mahrafrarah."
"We already did that! Homestar wouldn't want to look at another thing in a bag!"
The two went off to find something to take their minds off getting drinks. They were met by Strong Sad, who was studying something on the floor.
"What're you doing, dumpus?" The bad one inquired.
"I'm just looking at this rare species of flower" the sad one replied.
"That's just a dandelion!" Strong Bad retorted, plucking the helpless flower from the ground. Strong Sad's face went whiter than it already was.
"How could you?! Don't you know how rare flowers are around here?"
"Sure I do: Not very. There's another one growing behind The Tyre in Strongbadia."
Strong Sad, desperate to finish his study, was unfortunately fooled by this, and ran off to Strongbadia to find it. Strong Bad and The Cheat looked on.
"Go get 'em, Bear-Shark."
----
The dynamic duo then realised they had gained a dandelion out of this prank, and Strong Bad began thinking about what to do with his awesome new stuff. He then saw Homestar Runner, prancing around like an idiot as usual. This was the perfect opportunity to get money for drinks! So the two walked over to No-Armed Whitey, who was oblivious to their presence.
"…La-de-da-de-da-da-do-da-da-do."
"Hey, Stupid! We need money!"
Homestar stopped prancing around and stared at the dandelion.
"Oh wow! Stwong Bad, what is that?"
"This?" Strong Bad said "This is the… Uh… Dandelion of Eternal… erm… Com…itment?" He had no idea what he was talking about.
"Dandelion of Etewnal Commitment, huh? How does it wowk?"
"Well, you hit someone with it, and say their name and the name of someone else, then hit the person over the head with the dandelion… And then they're married." Strong Bad was making everything up on the spot. "Like this." He then turned to The Cheat and held the dandelion above his head. "I hereby pronounce you, Mr The Cheat… Grasshopper!" And he whacked The Cheat over the head.
----
The Cheat then picked up a nearby grasshopper and started hugging it relentlessly.
"Stwong Bad; that is the best invention I have evew seen!"
Suddenly The Cheat began crying.
"Aw, what happened? Did you two break up?" Strong Bad asked, pretending to be sad.
"I think the gwasshoppew did the bweaking up." Homestar put in, pointing out the remains of The Cheats former partner.
"Anyways, you should probably go over to Marzipan and try it. She'll like that." Strong Bad sniggered. "But, it's gonna cost ya $50."
"Suwe thing. See you later, Stwong Bad!" Homestar called as he handed over $50 and dashed off.
Strong Bad burst out laughing. Homestar hitting Marzipan over the head with a dead flower was a great prank! She'd no doubt object to the 'removal of the plant from its natural habitat, and letting it die, just so people can look good', in her own words. Strong Bad and The Cheat followed Homestar to Marzipan's garden, where she had just finished playing a song on her guitar, Carol.
"… Don't like him at all..! Carol, you were great out there."
Homestar ran up to her. Marzipan was too busy talking to her guitar.
"I heweby pwonounce you, Mrs Mawzipan Wunnew!" He hollered. SB and TC were hiding in a bush, trying hard not to laugh. Homestar was just about to bring the dandelion down on her, when Marzipan turned around to see what he was doing. She saw the dandelion…
----
"Homestar, you got me a flower? Oh, that's so thoughtful! Thank you." Marzipan said, hugging him as she did. Homestar was taken aback by this display of emotion, but swiftly hugged her back, as if to say "You'we welcome." The lack of visible arms didn't seem to bother them. The two eavesdroppers were not impressed.
"Aw, cuh-rap! I was so sure she'd flip!" Strong Bad moaned. "Oh well. Come on The Cheat, let's go get our drinks."
"Meh meh."
The two then sat down by The Stick and drank their red and blue drinks. Then they fell asleep for a while. All of a sudden, something hit Strong Bad!
"What the f-?!"
"I hereby pronounce you, Mr Strong Bad–Homsar-guy!" A tired, shaky and slightly electrocuted Strong Sad screamed to the heavens, holding the dandelion above his head. Homsar was standing next to him.
"A-h-a-h-a-h-a-h! 'Till death do I depart!"
Strong Bad promptly fainted.
End