You Can Only Fall So Far
By Sherlocked-Mermaid
AN: Hey this is my first story published online, fanfiction has been an obsession of mine since I was12. I am just a 17 year old girl with a passion I guess. Please READ REVIEW and let me know what you think!
I feel so hollow. The text which was staring back at me, glaring rather, it seemed to blame me, like none of this mattered. This was my first thought. The person the text was written to would never receive it. Please don't be dead, Sherlock. I need you. I need you, to not be dead. A lonely tear fell down my cheek, the only outward sign. Please. I felt bad, I must admit, I had watched him fall, he could have still been alive if I hadn't been frozen, if I had ignored his instructions. He had told me not to move a muscle, but all I could think now is that it is my fault, all of it. I feel so hollow, what I don't understand is that, what I don't want to accept rather is that, I would never see that terrible smirk or those flashing eyes. His eyes, That ever changing magnificent colour, which would at times be silver and others, a forest green. I exited the text message, not even bothering to save and stared at the wallpaper. It was of us, I mean of course it was, we had just come back from a case, his cheeks were still flushed, I looked at the camera as he just looked at me with most indescribable look on his face, and the yellow smiley face on the wallpaper seemed to taunt me. He had on a crisp white shirt, and one of his perfectly tailored Armani suit Mrs Hudson had taken it so that we could always remember the good days. Oh Sherlock, please just stop being dead. I was alone, I owe you so much. John! Goodbye, John. No, why today of all days? After months and months and his voice was still a crisp memory, a memory which tugged at something deep inside of me, something which I have never ever felt stir before. I felt something touch my hand; I knew what it was before she even opened her mouth. "Come on John, you have to eat, please." Please" -he wouldn't have wanted you to starve." How do you know? You're just a stupid nurse who works in a stupid hospital who is taking stupid blood money from my ex best-friend's brother, Mycroft . I wonder how Mycroft is doing. Goodbye, my lover. Goodbye my friend. Goodbye John. Goodbye John Hamish Holmes. Sherlock once said that he doesn't have friends, that I was his only friend. But we were more than that, more than just a name. Or a surname, I suppose. "John? Come on, you have to eat." I stared blankly up at the blond. Oh she's new. Not a nurse, why not you ask. Well besides the name badge which says psychiatrist, isn't cheating, it's observing. She's not the usual perky nurses who appear, with food or needles and no brain. She could be an experienced nurse, you say. Older, blue eyes, quite nice, like the ocean. You haven't ever been to the sea, John. Her hair, a pale white blond was pulled back into a harsh but so messy pony tail. Her eyes looked almost as if she had just heard a joke and had laughed, hard. Strange that, maybe she is the one who needs a psychiatrist. Sherlock. Sorry. Okay, she has a dog, Just one? Yes, no, two dogs, one big, one small. Probably a puppy, from the look of the left over muddy paw prints on her slacks. Her mouth seemed to be moving, but I wasn't listening, quite a pleasant mouth. Like a bud just opening up, a baby's breath, a soft pink, almost perfectly shaped, but slightly imperfect. Like me? Yes Sherlock Just like you. What do you think of her? Attractive and intelligent. Slim her coat and slacks fit her well. Her shirt just slightly pulling over her chest, her face oval shaped, her parents are both doctors as well, and how do you know that? She is well looked after, her teeth are straight; she has a healthy colour, Like peaches and cream? Yes quite, a doctor Kennedy also is signed up in this same hospital who happens to also be your anaesthesiologist. Her hands, they're soft, but steady, she's a pianist, also plays a string instrument, a harp or a cello maybe even a guitar judging by the calluses. Michelle Kennedy, Psychiatrist, the badge look like it hasn't been removed, so either it's been placed there and the coat hasn't been washed, but because of the obnoxious smell and the crispy whiteness I would say that it's a new coat, which means she is a new doctor. This means that yes, John, she is new. No rings, no earrings, no piercings? No tattoos from the look of it. She lives alone and she was late this morning. All of these things you are assuming because she is attractive and oh so your type. Shut up Sherlock. I can't even fathom anything with someone who isn't you. But John. "No Sherlock, I was in love with you." I realised I was saying it out loud as I was doing it. Shit.
So that happened. Please Let me know, I would love to continue this, if I knew what people thought. OH and this is all UnBETA'd, because my twin is my beta, and this is a surprise, so surprise HEADGIRL!