GEX
by Tito-Mosquito
Author's Note: I've been wanting to write this for a long time. And this will be my last published page for 2008. So, Happy New Year!
Chapter 1: A Bad TV Day
Ah, Hawaii. A lush tropical paradise, famous for many things: Magnum P.I., Hawaiian Eye, that TV show staring Jack Lord's hair, and most importantly, the world's largest population of gecko lizards. That's right, geckos. And one family of geckos in particular had a very special problem…
Deep in the valley on Maui lived a gecko family that was trying to make ends meet. Mrs. Gecko had her paws full raising three and a half kids (their numbers depend upon their regenerative powers) while Dr. Gecko was away doing research for NASA. GEX, the oldest offspring, was a bright lad who would spend his days with his friends, surfing, playing the ukulele and throwing poi parties down on the beach with the local lady lizards.
One day, on the morning of March 16, 1995*, Mrs. Gecko got a call from NASA telling her the tragic news. The experimental rocket containing Dr. Gecko and ten other volunteers, chosen to see if they would eat tapioca pudding in zero gravity, had exploded on the launch pad due to a band-aid floating in one of the fuel tanks. The family's carefree upper-middle-class life was shattered!
While the rest of the family dealt with their grief in the usual manner (crying, infighting and rummaging through Dad's stuff), GEX bottled up his feelings. He took refuge in front of the only thing in the house that had always provided him with undemanding comfort: the TV.
GEX found out that in his time of need, all his old and sometimes forgotten friends were still there, ready to take his mind off his troubles. There was Kimba the White Lion, eager to take him on an adventure through the African savannas. The Six Million Dollar Man would stop by with a quick bionic pick-me-up. The Partridge Family would play a song, and then shake their heads at the wacky antics of Mr. Reuben Kincaid. These were GEX's true friends, and he was willing to spend the rest of his life in their groovy company.
"Oh man GEX, I just thought of a funny thing." one of GEX's friends asked, a short chubby gecko. He is laying on a float chair in a swimming pool. He lifted his head to look for GEX, who is nowhere to be found. "Have you seen GEX?" he asked his other friend.
"No, I think he's still at home." answered another of GEX's friends, a lanky lizard zinc on his nose. He is sitting on a beach chair near the pool.
"Oh yeah."
Try as she might, Mrs. Gecko could not pry her son away from the boob tube. So, after consulting with the family minister and the weird guy at work, she decided it was time for a change of scenery. The family was going to leave Hawaii and start a new life… in California.
One week later…
A moving van pulled up in front of a ranch-style house in Encino, California, surrounded by white picket fences. The neighborhood was inhabited by white supremacists. Mrs. Gecko and her three youngest children got out of the car to admire their new home. As the moving men uploaded a crate containing GEX and his beloved TV, his mother exclaimed that she was excited about the family's new beginning.
"That's exactly what Maude said to her husband after she went through menopause." GEX laughed.
GEX is obviously still having trouble dealing with Dad's death, but Mrs. Gecko thought she knew just what to do.
That night, the doorbell rang, and a burly older lizard came in carrying a basket of treats.
"Good evening everyone" he said, "My name is Harv. Welcome to our neighborhood." He shook hands with Mrs. Gecko and the kids (sans GEX). He passed out various chocolate-covered bugs to GEX's siblings.
"Oh boy!" one of the young geckos exclaimed.
"Yummy! Chocolate!"
Harv grabbed a seat on the table to talk to Mrs. Gecko.
"I've got one spot left on my Saturday All-Pro Girl Watching Team. I was wondering if anyone would want to fill in?" he asked in a slightly louder tone.
"Jack Tripper is available, but only if he could get out of the two dates he made for the same night!" GEX told him, from the front of the TV.
Harv seemed a little confused. He whispered something to Mrs. Gecko, and then took a seat next to the tuned-out gecko.
"Would you like to take that spot on the team?" Harv asked straight out.
"I love to, but I promised Bosley that I would watch the Angels for him all week." GEX replied.
Harv chuckled. "Maybe you've been spending a little too much time watching TV. You need to go outside." he suggested.
"The last time I gone outside, my Dad blew up, surrounded by galleons of burning tapioca." GEX explained, frowning, without taking his eyes off the set. Then laughed at the TV.
Completely out of ideas, Harv bid Mrs. Gecko an exasperated farewell and left. Now what was a concerned mother to do?
The next morning, GEX came running downstairs, expected to have breakfast with the Banana Splits as usual, when he froze in his tracks.
The TV was gone!
This must be some kind of joke!
Was it out for repairs?
Did someone break in and steal it?
C'mon, man, this isn't funny!
The room began to spin… GEX needed a TV fix… the little suction cups on his hands were beginning to twitch…
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
Just then, his Mom came into the room, crossing her arms. "If you're looking for the TV, I gave it away to some gypsies early this morning," she said. "Enough is enough! You need to start doing things like a normal gecko. Go catch some flies, practice walking up walls, enter a tongue-lashing contest. But for cripes sake, stop watching TV!"
GEX couldn't believe this. The one thing in his life that had meaning was gone, and his Mom was behind it. GEX exploded with rage.
"I'm never setting foot inside this TV-less house again!" GEX announced and stormed out the front door. Mrs. Gecko ran after him, begging him to stay, but it was too late. His siblings cried as he walked out of the front lawn. Mrs. Gecko had done the unthinkable, and this was the result.
The next few months were a blur, GEX hooked up with some local punks and spent his days skateboarding to the mall, hanging out in comic stores and blaring music through his walkman on a cliff overlooking the city. He slept in a friend's garage and made pocket money doing errands for lazy housewives. One time GEX and the punks spray on a brickwall, he painted his name in large orange-red letters.
"Good night man." GEX said as his friend went back inside. He pulled up his sleeping bag and dozed off.
Ah, Hawaii. A lush tropical paradise. The Valley of the Geckos, GEX's home. The gecko children are playing. The elderly sit on the porch, watching the sun coming up. The seagulls flying above the morning sky had, for some reason, scattered.
CRACK!
The protective glass dome is breaking. Suddenly, a great whirlwind opens above the village.
Fire falls from the sky, destroying homes. Geckos running scared, screaming.
A swarm of winged demons with pitchforks come flying from the vortex, snatching all the geckos. They all fly back through the portal taking the terrified geckos with them.
The vortex shrinks and closes. The sky is bright by the sun again. The seagulls fly through the clear sky again.
GEX is trapped in under the debris. He is injured. But he is crying, a tear falls from his eye. His Dad, his Mom, his siblings, his friends, everyone he knows, gone…
GEX gasped as he flew up into a sitting position. With a hand clutching his sweat soaked head, he looked at the time. 3:02 it reads. "I guess I skill kinda miss home." he thought.
The nightmare had left him somewhat shaken. His entire existence had become one long, aimless haze, with one of his TV friends around to help out. It seemed to be how he would spend the rest of his life. Or was it…
One day, as he was skateboarding along talking to his invisible friend, "The Mayor" (life on the street does things to a gecko), a long black limousine pulled up and knocked GEX off his skateboard, sending him to a garbage bin. Climbing out of the pile of trash, GEX was about to have His Honor go insult the driver, when the rear window rolled down, and he saw…
"Mom?" GEX exclaimed when he saw his Mom through the window after she pulls it down.
"GEX!" Mrs. Gecko opened the door to run to him. "I'm so glad to finally find you, GEX!" she said, hugging her son. "Oh, I have fantastic news! We're rich!"
"Say what?"
"Well, three days after you ran away, your great-uncle Charlie passed away and left his entire estate to us. What we didn't know was that your Uncle Charlie was the original model for the Izod T-shirt logo. He had invested his modeling salary back into company stock. At the time of his passing, Uncle Charlie's estimate worth was over $20 billion!"
Shocked out of his mind, GEX jumped in the air, told the Mayor he had just been impeached, and hopped into Mom's limo. The hard times were over. He was going to start living life right!
For the next few weeks, the entire family went on a mad spending spree, buying houses, cars, local judges and politicians. Mrs. Gecko purchased 51% ownership in NASA, and then fired everybody, sold the rockets to some third world countries, and converted Mission Control into a theme restaurant fearing robotic dancing chimps wearing spacesuits.
GEX's siblings said they had always wanted to go to Australia, so they bought it. GEX, on the other hand, was not into all the cars, jewels and other extravagances. He took his share of the fortune, tucked it into his pants pocket, and went for a walk. He walked and walked and walked, wondering what to do with his share. Then it hit him. He would use the cash to fulfill a longtime dream!
Exactly one hour later…
GEX called his Mom down at her restaurant, "Space Monkeys", and told her good-bye. "I'm going back home to Hawaii. I'm going to buy the biggest house on Maui, near Funky Town, fill it with the world's largest TV set and enough food for decades, and then seal myself inside. I'm going to spend the rest of my life watching all his old TV friends getting into outrageous situations or amazing adventures."
"Okay son, I wish you the best of luck. Come back to visit us sometimes. Love you, bye." Mrs. Gecko said.
"Love you to, bye." GEX said.
Mrs. Gecko hung up the phone and - BOOOM!
"Um, ma'am… we have a problem." said one of her employees.
Some of the chimps had faulty wires, and Mrs. Gecko quickly went to help fix them.
GEX hung up and headed out to build his dream…
In a few days, GEX was parked in front of his TV, munching from a nearby bowl of flies. He woke up this morning to do his usually routine of Nude Funkercise, then he fired up the barcalounger, grabbed a quick bite to eat, and prepared to watch some serious tube. He was now in the middle of flipping through channels to see what was on. "Nope, nope, nope," he droned, as he clicked the remote again and again, surfing through reruns of Kung Fu Theater, a wacky cartoon and an old Indiana Jones movie. Those shows were so boring. He'd already seen all of hem at least a million times. "Ugh, I'm ready for something different!"
Frustrated, GEX started clicking all the remote's buttons rapid-fire, speeding through the channels in a super-fast blur. While he was clicking and kicking back, a fly buzzed by, GEX flicked out his tongue and - gulp! - down it went. But the fly tasted strange, metal.
Suddenly, GEX's remote jammed and the TV blanked.
"What the- What's going on? This TV is brand new!"
Very far from here, yet so very close.
A large figure stands watching the dormant universe, pressing the controls in front of him. The controls' viewscreen in front of the cybernetic raptor is blinking red.
"There he is." a voice rasped. He grinned slightly in anticipation as he is watching through GEX's TV.
"You are mine," laughing to himself.
"Out with the peacock…" he pulled his cold claws back, swaying his dark cape, and extend it through the viewscreen, "in with the GECKO!"
A huge hand shot out of the TV screen, grabbed GEX by the neck and… ZZZZZZTTTTTTTT!
Just like that GEX had been yanked into his TV.
". . . !" GEX screamed as he is falling through a wormhole into the unknown.
What will GEX find through the portal? Was his nightmare a premonition? Who would want a gecko that much? Will he find a way to get back home? You'll find out soon enough. Next chapter: Scream TV.
In case you're wondering, I had GEX's name capitalized because the instruction booklet of the original game, GEX, spelled it that way. That's where I got the idea for this fanfic. His nightmare was based on an original idea for the game's intro.
* The date the original game was first released for the 3DO gaming system.