AN: Second fic. It's a different kind of story. Its almost AU in that she doesn't marry Edward and explores possibilities that are very likely. Also anything italicized is either her thoughts or a flashback. If its long like the first chapter, its a flashback. The first few chapters will be like that because there is a lot to be told. Please read and review I'd like to know how it is.

Chapter One
Soliloquy

It was a full two months before the wedding, Alice had only done a few preliminary wedding things; mainly picking out dress styles, a theme, decorations and the cake design. I had spent a lot of time down at La Push and I began to actually weigh my options whereas before there was only one. Alice had predicted I would get cold feet so she tried to talk me out of whatever before it happened. Edward was only obsessed, he was careful not wanting to hurt his Bella, and he is a romantic but never willing to give something a try.

Alice saw an interference with the wedding yet never fully expressed that until the day I left, she tried to talk me out of what I had planned. I loved Alice more than anything and it was such a deep pain to tell her as well as my Fiancée good bye but I had to.

It happened on my last day here. I began talking with Jacob unlike I really ever had. I mean we had talked about relationships slightly when Edward left, but he was very careful; he didn't want to open up any sore spots. He had begun to express his true desires one afternoon and thought that I was the one. Behind that I felt that maybe he had imprinted but he would have known already, but maybe he's been holding it back. I knew I had loved him, and I was obsessed with Edward. It was this day he brought that conflict into full focus. We had been sitting on the top pier contemplating jumping…

"I'm scared and I shouldn't be, I've jumped so many times from lower piers but still I shouldn't be worried"

"Bella, dear, we don't have to jump off of this one today…"

He was so calm and patient like Edward, yet risky.

"I'm ready but I'm scared."

"Oh…"

It was as if he had remembered why such a jump might scare me.

He nodded, he had.

"I hated that point in life; it was like the only thing driving me forward were my visits with you and mainly anything dangerous."

It was suddenly cold, a wind whipped past me. I felt like crying, but today wasn't a day for that. I didn't want to upset Jacob either.

Jacob frowned a bit, he loved that he was the one to cheer me up, yet he hated that I was going through everything that shattered me. He leaned in to me wrapping his long, lean and very warm arms around me.

"When I thought you were dead, my whole world crumbled."

I shuddered at the memory.

"I would have hated to go on each day, it being my fault that I could never see your face blush again like it would when I would complement you, or the way it lit up when we worked on the motorcycles."

He paused. And it began to rain, the clouds over head had been threatening to pour as sprinkles came down puffing out my hair when suddenly it began to do as it threatened. The storm wouldn't last long and us getting soaked was inevitable, but it was a warm rain the kind kids love playing in. Jacob swallowed a lump in his throat took a deep breath and began a soliloquy in the pouring rain that stole me away.

"Bella I love you and always have. It puts a hole in my heart to know you love him and will never love me. Those few months were the best months of my life. I looked forward to placing a piece of your heart back were it belonged each day you would come to see me. I loved how I was the one who made you better. Bella you know what, you do love me.

You love me. You remember that night we were on the mountain when we were ending Victoria? The night I threatened to get killed, the night you kissed me? Yea, you loved me then and you love me now. Bella I can give you the life you are meant for. I can give you a human life. You don't have to give up your soul to live as an equal to me. I can give you kids and a family, naturally. I was always there for you, I picked up the pieces; Edward did nothing except for build you up and break you apart. He knew what would happen…."

"Jacob, no he didn't he thought it would be best for me to live a human life…"

I regretted the truth as soon as I said it.

"And he was right Bella. You're human, and this is how you are supposed to live your life. I can provide for you. I can protect you like he can and you know it. I won't desert you."

As much as I hated the truth it was laced in his desperate attempt to win me before I was lost.

"I understand if you pick him, he was your first love, he showed you things, he opened your eyes, but he isn't your only option. He loves you and so do I. I promise to never leave you and he promises to never leave you again," he emphasized the word again letting it ring out louder and every syllable hang on the tip of his tongue as long as it would stay.

Bella I know so many things about you, I know just what you want to hear and how you want to hear the truth and I know when to say what. I know how to tell your feelings by the subtle color changes in your eyes. You love pancakes and your favorite syrup is boysenberry. You try not to drink caffeine. You came here to take care of your father. You only bought the motorcycles to be reckless. You ripped out the stereo because it reminded you of him. You hate popcorn at the movies and instead like getting peanut m&ms."

He was so utterly right; Edward would never have known most of this.

"Bella I want you to know one thing, I love you, I pay attention to you, to every part of you. Edward would not know half of that. When you go home tonight could you do one thing for me? Ask him what your favorite breakfast food is, what your favorite syrup is, why you came here, ask him everything I know. That is all I ask. I want you to know everything before you decide. I want you to ask him why he loves you. I love you for everything you are; I could not live with out you. To him you are an obsession, a pet for him to observe. For me, you're my world and everything it could possibly be.

But if you pick him, I will understand and I only ask that you not bother inviting me to wedding. If you pick me, I will love you more than he can. I will open your eyes to things he can never open them to. I want you to pick me; I want you to love me."

He then sat still, perfectly still. He was right in so many ways and now I had a decision to make. For once I wasn't so sure.