Breakfast on the Floor
Omake chapter to Dreamt
AN: This is a more lighthearted take on the events taking place the morning after Madara's return to Konoha. A "what-if" version where Sakura doesn't go into her labour immediately and the re-established Uchiha clan has some time to settle down.
Chronologically, this used to be Chapter 16 of the original version, and it diverges from the revised "Dreamt" during Chapter 15.
"I can't believe they have us take the Chunin exams! Not bragging but I'm Hokage candidate now!"
"That's exactly why, dobe. You can't become Hokage with a genin rank, you moron." Sasuke's tired tone and face expression would be a better fit to middle of a night and not to this late, bright morning.
"What about you, then?"
"A refined punishment, I suppose. Putting me it one team with you, I mean."
"Oh, come on guys, why be so upset about it? It was fun coming to think about it. Especially the first part…" Sakura turned from the stove to the boys sitting on the kitchen floor. Chairs were absent still, so was the table. So the breakfast will be on the floor. Last evening she had Naruto clones run errands to her apartment, fetching most basic of the basics. And that included plates and pans, but not the chairs.
"Yeah, fun for you, you 'know-it-all'..."
"I will not even get angry about it, you know? Cause we both know how many times my intel saved your sorry ass."
Naruto got red. "And on top of it." He decided to change the topic. "It doesn't make any sense to pit us up against these poor genin. What chance do they stand?"
"Don't get so full of yourself, dobe. Every generation is stronger than the previous one. Plus with your recklessness and inability to follow even simplest instructions..."
"Maybe they will have your chakra sealed?" suggested Sakura helpfully, trying to ease the tension. Judging from boys' faces she had failed. "Or maybe have you only use Taijutsu?"
"I don't need to activate Sharingan to remember all moves I've already learned." Sasuke's voice was dead-panned.
"Then maybe they will bind your eyes? In the beginning when we sparred Madara had his eyes.. Oh, hi." Madara was standing in the door. Sakura wondered for how long already. He walked like a cat, she could never hear him.
"Morning! Have a seat!" Naruto patted the floor next to himself. "We're making breakfast!"
"I'm making breakfast. You two are slandering around!"
"Oh, Sakura-chan, don't point it out so much!" Naruto formed a clone. "I'll help you!" Sakura rolled her eyes – she wasn't sure if she wanted such a helper.
Carefully, Madara sat down. Because standing felt even more awkward.
"So, how did you sleep?" Naruto put his arm around Madara's shoulders clearly in fraternizing mode again. But this time Madara was prepared for it. And for the jaws of Kyubi snapping at his face. The day before, at the gate, he was taken by surprise. Sure he knew that the fox has been unsealed, but somehow he didn't think it would jump at him. Long time no see, but the beast hasn't changed – hating him just like in old times. So now he knew that with the Kyubi loose, all was needed was a mere touch of jinchuuriki to make a connection. "What did you dream? They say first dream in a new place.." The jinchuuriki continued unperturbed by hostile stand-off taking place inside him.
"Nothing." Thank all the gods.
"Did Sakura-chan keep you awake so long?"
"Naruto!" Sakura reddened up to the hairline. Now, she will control herself. She won't be throwing anything dirty or breakable around her new kitchen. Metal pot cover however… Naruto hit the floor hissing and grasping at his head.
"Sakura-chan, what was it for?!"
"Like you don't know!"
"What?! Is it not even allowed to ask now?"
"No, it is not! You don't ask such things! What do you want to ask next? Details? Nobody told you how kids are made or what?!" She registered chuckles from where Sasuke and Madara were sitting. She didn't get from which one it came. Maybe from both… Naruto nevertheless seemed completely non-discouraged, as if she had exactly guessed his next question and now he was waiting for the promised details. "You immature, little…" Sakura's voice reached a higher pitch.
"Hey, hold on, I'm not immature!" Sakura made a face. "I'm grown up, responsible and steering straight towards the Hokage post! I'll prove it to you Sakura-chan. I'm a responsible adult. Believe me, you can rely on me! I can take care of your children for example, to prove it!"
"He, he, Naruko-chan wants to be a nanny." Sasuke was definitely developing a sense of humour these days, Sakura concluded with surprise.
"Like hell I'd let you take care of my children! I'd never leave you alone in one room with them!"
"Careful there, rejecting the offer so quickly." It was Madara this time. "You'll see you will need all the help you can get."
"I'll manage!" Sakura stomped. He might have a point but her temper was getting better of her. "Plus these children will have a father as well!"
"Oh, in that case, it seems that I still have a couple of months to prove myself completely unworthy of the task. I'd better start working on it."
Sakura decided she preferred Uchihas without a sense of humour. She sent him a black look. And to spread it evenly, same look to Sasuke, even though he didn't say anything. "You all are just irresponsible, childish and completely unsupportive bunch of.."
"I'm supportive!" Shouted Naruto's clone from the stove. "And helpful! Look, I'm cooking!"
"You're not cooking, you're burning. You have to mix from time to time for gods' sake!" Sakura plopped on the floor with a resigned look on her face. And then it hit her – she was irritated by such rubbish. She was again capable of getting worked up by such things. These were today her problems. These, and not stopping the war, not facing the world destroyer, not negotiating peace terms with her own village. She looked around and couldn't believe it: Team 7 sitting together with Uchiha Madara, having breakfast in the rebuild Uchiha compound. A year ago, if someone had told her such scenario, she would have asked what drugs was he taking.
"I'm so happy. So happy to have you all here." She wound her right arm around Madara's neck and left one around Naruto's. 'Just for a second, not to overdo it, but I need to hold them.'
"Yeah! I'm also happy to be here with you guys!" Naruto was always there to share her enthusiasm. Anyone's enthusiasm for that matter. "It's gonna be great living together, dattebayo!"
Sakura chuckled and threw a quick look at the both Uchihas. Madara looked as if he urgently needed subtitles. Sasuke, having known Naruto for years, had his reaction practiced.
"Dobe. You're not living here."
"Oh, why not…" whined Naruto. "Sasuke, your place is huge, it's gonna be fun!"
"No."
"I'll help you to move in, and we can spar anytime.."
"Nope."
"You stayed at my place for half a year and that's how you're paying me back?!"
"I stayed only because I had to…"
"But it was so much fun!"
"Hn." That was a very negatively-sounding "Hn".
'Like kids.' That the jinchuuriki was childish was without a question. But Uchiha boy was only fueling the brawl, inadvertently or not. A situation vaguely similar dawned somewhere deep in Madara's memory, only that in this memory his brothers were significantly younger. Unwillingly, he had to smile at that image.
"Why do you insist so much, Naruto?" Apparently the level of persistence was getting unusual for Sakura's taste. That, or she was getting fed up and ready to explode again. Probably the second.
"I kind of… he, he.." Naruto scratched back of his head. "How to say… I'm afraid of facing Karin alone."
A synchronized snort was a reply for the explanation. From Sakura's and Madara's side it was true amusement, from Sasuke's a, staged or not, disgust.
"Dobe, I'm trying to eat here."
Naruto looked offended. "You're now securely stuck in Uchiha compound, she won't dare to come here, she's too afraid of Madara. Instead she will start stalking me hoping I will lead her to you. I see it coming already!" Finished Naruto with despair in his voice.
Sakura laughed. Apparently things were interesting when she was busy with the negotiations. She took a glimpse at Madara – he also seemed to be enjoying Naruto's scrambling.
"Come on, don't laugh, you two! You don't know her! My dear cousin unfortunately is crazy. Batshit crazy! You have no idea to what means we had to resort to.."
"Shut up." Apparently Sasuke didn't want these means to be elaborated on.
"Oh, but please, go on…" Madara waved an encouraging gesture. "We would all love to know."
"Dobe. Don't mention it."
"Mention what? Our 'Karin Red Alert Plan'?" Listeners, with noticeable exception of Sasuke, nodded their enthusiastic approval.
"So, it goes like this:" Naruto was more than happy to find interested audience. "Karin rings the door – which we always lock on three locks exactly because of her. Sasuke runs to the kitchen accompanied by two of my clones. In the meantime, I take my time opening the doors because – remember – three locks. During that time Sasuke is supposed to manage onto the roof together with one of my clones. Second clone stays in the kitchen, closes the window from the inside and dissipates. I try to slow Karin down by friendly conversation while she storms into the apartment. Sasuke gets the rope which we have stored behind the chimney and goes down on it along the wall which you cannot see from any of my windows."
"Why the rope? Why not just to run down?" Madara got caught up in the story.
"Karin is an extremely skilled sensor." Sasuke hit the funeral tones.
"So, Sasuke has to quench his chakra to zero and cannot use any jutsu. By then, Karin notices his chakra disappearing and starts making a scene. I try to buy some time but usually she immediately runs out. Luckily, since we're on the fifth floor my second clone manages to fold the rope back and before she reaches the street all the evidence is covered. Sasuke runs for his dear life and I watch from the window which direction Karin is heading to. When situation is clear I go to get teme back from his hiding place." Naruto took a deep breath. "So, now you see. The woman is dangerous. I need to take cover before she focuses her attention on me!" Naruto apparently decided that the audience have been softened enough by the story.
"Is he always like that?" Asked Madara tentatively, pointing at Naruto.
"Yup." Sakura nodded emphatically. "But one gets used to it…"
"So, if there are no objections, I'll go get my stuff.."
"Dobe, you're not moving in."
"But, Sasuke.." Whined Naruto.
"You have hots for me or what, moron?" Sasuke decided to resort to attack as the last line of defense.
Sakura would have sworn that hair on Naruto's head just bristled. "And who's saying? One has to wonder about you! With all the girls throwing themselves at you, you don't even bat an eyelid!"
"I just don't like any of them." So now he will have to suffer through humiliation on this topic as well, but at least Naruto got distracted away from his cohabitation idea.
"Whaat?! None of them?! Not even a single one?! Such one you would like has not been born yet, or what?!"
Sasuke ignored. Months of practice, he was getting better at it.
"I only wonder how the clan revival will go with such attitude…"
"Don't have to worry about it anymore. Leader-sama is doing such a fine job."
Madara who was until now silently enjoying the word-spar, almost choked on his rice. It was a very long time since anyone made him a target of a joke. He knew he should reply with some witty remark, but he was so surprised that nothing was coming to his mind. Nobody has treated him as an equal for such a long time. Even Sakura – she was throwing a tantrum from time to time, but hierarchy was always clear. These two though… Jinchuuriki brat was simply lacking ability to reflect on such things. Uchiha boy… It kept surprising him how different, despite of eerily similar exterior, he was from Izuna. His brother was collected, dutiful and orthodox. Sasuke, just millimeters under his stoic façade, was a barely contained, raging storm. Gods, this boy had issues. With whole the world basically. 'I guess it will be my task as the clan leader to guide him in overcoming his deficiencies…'
AN: Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!
I'm glad that at least this way I could preserve this scene. I like it a lot, and it establishes two small things that are important for how the story develops later on...But I guess not many people got it anyway...
What I'm not sure about though, is if AN at the beginning is enough to make it clear for the reader what is going on?