Rachel's Tears 2006-
Tobias and I are the only ones left. I realize this at their graves.
The roses I put there on their funerals have turned black and brittle.
'Dead,' I thought. 'Just like them. I start sobbing uncontrollably as Tobias came up behind me,
also crying.
"It's okay, Rachel, it's okay," he whispered.
"No, it's not. Look at their gravestones: Jake, 1981-1999, a true leader and beloved friend.
Cassie, 1981-2000, always understanding, and always loved. Marco, 1981- 2000, a true friend, a
true fighter. They're dead, Tobias. Dead."
There was silence for a long time. Then Tobias came up and put an arm around me, and I hugged him
back, looking away from the graves. The reason they died was because of me. When Visser Three
was killed, I decided o go on a trip with my dad...
1999-
"Ding dong the Visser's dead! The Visser's dead! The Visser's dead! Tra la la la la la!" Marco
sang out.
"Calm down, Marco," Jake, of course, was happy too, but still, what if a controller got out?
"Aww, come on, Jake, now we can be normal! Hey, is everyone going to the Christmas party that's
at school this year?" Everyone raised their hand, except me.
"Dad's year," I said simply.
"Okay, just blow us off!" Marco joked.
"Well, I can't help it! Plus, now that I'm 'normal,' I can finally do 'normal things,' like go
and visit my dad, okay?" With that I made a fist and acted like I was going to punch him in the
head.
"Okay, okay, Xena." After that, I really did punch him.
"Aww, little Marco get beat up by a girl?" I taunted.
"Shut up, both of you!" said Jake, and then, to Cassie and Tobias, "Yep, they're normal."
We laughed. It was the first laugh that I didn't have to force in about two years.
Not to mention the first joke Jake had made. And his last. . . .
January 2000-
"How did this happen?" I asked nobody. I was in the forest where Jake had fallen. "Why?!" I
asked again. I wished somebody would have answered me, just to keep me sane. Fortunately,
someone did.
Rachel! Are you okay? replied Tobias.
"Tobias, Jake's dead! Do you think I'm okay?"
Tobias was now human, but there was silence for a long time. Finally, he spoke.
"So, the Visser's not dead?"
"No, he isn't. And Visser 1 and Visser 3 are now allies. They now we're human, but not who we
are. Now how are we gonna live?"
"I don't know how, but what I do know is that the Andalites are coming to pick up
Ax. Either that, or he has to stay human. There are some Andalites that say that they'll stay,
but with some, you can't tell if they're lying or not."
"So? If there are six or more, we can quit! Normal lives. . ."
"And I could stay human. Is that what you want? Is that what this is all about?! You said
yourself that I sacrificed more that anyone on this Earth so that I could-"
"No!"
"We could fight! Not until the Visser's dead will I quit!"
"Stop! Stop it! Now!" then I ran away crying.
That night:
"Cassie. . . Oh my God! Cassie! No!" I sobbed. I went to go visit the place where Jake had been
killed, and found Cassie, lying in her own blood, with a knife in her hand.
"No! Nononononononono! NO!" I was screaming that one word so loud that I probably woke up Asia,
but I didn't care. Cassie was dead. Gone. My best friend, my cousin's girlfriend. Hell, it was
like we were soul sisters. And now she had killed herself. I sat there and cried. It's funny,
because, literally, those were the first tears I had cried (aside from Jake, of course)in five
years. The first ones I had really remembered. I felt like I was killed, because, really, I was
dead inside my heart. I picked up the knife, thinking 'I'll be with you soon, Jake, Cassie. Soon. Very soon.'
That's when I saw Tobias come down.
'Come on! Chicken! He'll stop you!' I screamed mentally at myself. That's when I broke down.
I jut let it all come out. Everything that happened in the past six years. Everything. When we
got the power, when I lost my memory, when we went through the Sario Rip, when we trailed the
time matrix and I 'broke' my neck. As I said, Everything.
Tobias had swooped down and stolen the knife from my hands. He came back about three minutes
later, running to me. I just felt his arms around me when he embraced me.
"She's dead..." I could just barely hear myself, let alone Tobias.
"Shhh, Rachel, it's okay, it's okay."
"No, Tobias, it's not okay! Jake is dead! Cassie too! But she committed suicide! I'm covered
in her blood! I was holding the knife! They can't find her! Tobias, they never should have found
Jake's body! It would have been so much easier on Cassie! She would have never killed
herself. . . ."
"Rachel, she would have found out sooner or later. If it were later, she would have hung herself.
It causes more pain. I would know. I almost tried it..."
"What?! Tobias, promise me you will never try that again! Tobias, please promise me!"
"I promise."
"I don't know what I would do without you, Tobias. I-I-I never told anyone this, but I-I love
you, too," I stuttered, almost embarrassed.
"I kinda figured it out, a-a-and I think I love you too." We both just sat there in silence, knowing something, then all of a sudden everything turned black. I woke up in Cassie's barn, After a few seconds, I realized what had happened. I remember wishing it were all a dream. Since I woke up in a make- shift bed, (sheets, blankets, hay) I thought I was in a dream. Until I saw Tobias.
He was still covered in blood.
Cassie's blood.
Tears silently streamed down my face. He looked so innocent sleeping. We all do. If my mother came in and saw me sleeping, she would see a popular gymnast, who never even thought about killing. But the thing is, I'm defenseless sleeping. The only reason that I say 'Let's do it!' is because I try to cover up the fact that I'm terrified. Then I realized about telling Marco. Now, there were only three of us left.
"The Visser's going down," I whispered.
"Oh yeah he is," Tobias said. "You looked like you were in deep thought. Anything wrong?"
"Cassie's dead. That's wrong. She killed herself. That's wrong."
"No, she didn't," I looked at Tobias for an explanation. "She was murdered. I
found this."
He handed me a note.
Animorphs - I know you are human. I found this one out, but
she wouldn't tell me who you are. She's stubborn. Or, should I say was stubborn? I will find
you, like I found her. Only, it won't be staged as a suicide. -Visser Three
I stared in shock.
I didn't have any tears left to cry, so I moved on to being shocked.
"We have to warn Marco. Now," I stated plainly.
"What if they have us bugged?"
"They would have already blown up the barn."
"Okay. But, first, the Vissers are going down! Okay, now I sound like you. I'd better
stop." I laughed. I cried. Tobias comforted me. It was then I realized that Tobias and I would
always have each other. Neither of us would die. No matter what. I looked at him, and I knew he felt the same way.
One week later -
We were in battle. Tobias was leader now, Marco didn't want it, and I knew that I would lead us all to our deaths. I felt the Dracon Beam graze my fur. It didn't matter. What mattered was getting to the inner city and killing Visser Three and Visser One. Tobias and I got the pleasure of killing Visser Three, and Marco, Visser One. Marco had an easier job at this. Visser One was not as important to the Earth-dwelling controllers as Visser Three, so she was less guarded. Marco came to help us. That action sealed his fate. Tobias had told him that, when he was done, to get out. Marco came in, and distracted us. He gave Visser Three time to grab a shredder and fire it at me. Marco blocked it. When I asked him later in the hospital why, he said because he knew that Tobias and I were 'madly in love' as he put it.
Anyway.
Marco blocked the shredder beam. Visser Three was so distracted bragging, that I,
a three-hundred pound plus grizzly bear, was able to sneak up behind him and slit his throat.
I said. I twisted his neck. I broke all of his legs. I yanked off his tail, "To keep for a souvenir...." I said, hatred burning in my voice,
Two weeks later -
"Hi, Ax!" I said. I was speaking with a computer program sort of thing that he had installed in all of our computers so we could speak with him any time. All of us except Jake, because of that Tom=Controller thing.
He responded. "Well, I'm just recieving the tail of Visser Three."
"Yah. Hallelujah, Ax-man. So, did they tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"Well, I'm moving away with Tobias in a month. Don't worry, we're keeping this computer. I'm going to miss home. We're going to move to San Francisco. It's upstate. Marco got out, but he died in the hospital." All of the sudden, I broke down. Tobias put on a personal microphone, and talked to Ax for a few moments, then shut down the computer. Instead of seeong him come up to me, I felt him.
"It's okay, we'll get through this together."
Now -
That was two years ago. There's new Animorphs, for the missions when the Sharing tried to start up again. There are very few Human-Controllers now. And the Hork-Bajir colony is huge.
We moved back home, and it's been hard. I visit their graves a lot. It still makes me cry. But remembering them makes me feel better. Tobias and I have baby twins, named Cassie and Jake. I'm pregnant with a boy we're naming Marco. I know it's gonna be hard in the future, but I'm gonna be ready. I've got to live. And I know I'll always love them.
Tobias and I are the only ones left. I realize this at their graves.
The roses I put there on their funerals have turned black and brittle.
'Dead,' I thought. 'Just like them. I start sobbing uncontrollably as Tobias came up behind me,
also crying.
"It's okay, Rachel, it's okay," he whispered.
"No, it's not. Look at their gravestones: Jake, 1981-1999, a true leader and beloved friend.
Cassie, 1981-2000, always understanding, and always loved. Marco, 1981- 2000, a true friend, a
true fighter. They're dead, Tobias. Dead."
There was silence for a long time. Then Tobias came up and put an arm around me, and I hugged him
back, looking away from the graves. The reason they died was because of me. When Visser Three
was killed, I decided o go on a trip with my dad...
1999-
"Ding dong the Visser's dead! The Visser's dead! The Visser's dead! Tra la la la la la!" Marco
sang out.
"Calm down, Marco," Jake, of course, was happy too, but still, what if a controller got out?
"Aww, come on, Jake, now we can be normal! Hey, is everyone going to the Christmas party that's
at school this year?" Everyone raised their hand, except me.
"Dad's year," I said simply.
"Okay, just blow us off!" Marco joked.
"Well, I can't help it! Plus, now that I'm 'normal,' I can finally do 'normal things,' like go
and visit my dad, okay?" With that I made a fist and acted like I was going to punch him in the
head.
"Okay, okay, Xena." After that, I really did punch him.
"Aww, little Marco get beat up by a girl?" I taunted.
"Shut up, both of you!" said Jake, and then, to Cassie and Tobias, "Yep, they're normal."
We laughed. It was the first laugh that I didn't have to force in about two years.
Not to mention the first joke Jake had made. And his last. . . .
January 2000-
"How did this happen?" I asked nobody. I was in the forest where Jake had fallen. "Why?!" I
asked again. I wished somebody would have answered me, just to keep me sane. Fortunately,
someone did.
Rachel! Are you okay? replied Tobias.
"Tobias, Jake's dead! Do you think I'm okay?"
Tobias was now human, but there was silence for a long time. Finally, he spoke.
"So, the Visser's not dead?"
"No, he isn't. And Visser 1 and Visser 3 are now allies. They now we're human, but not who we
are. Now how are we gonna live?"
"I don't know how, but what I do know is that the Andalites are coming to pick up
Ax. Either that, or he has to stay human. There are some Andalites that say that they'll stay,
but with some, you can't tell if they're lying or not."
"So? If there are six or more, we can quit! Normal lives. . ."
"And I could stay human. Is that what you want? Is that what this is all about?! You said
yourself that I sacrificed more that anyone on this Earth so that I could-"
"No!"
"We could fight! Not until the Visser's dead will I quit!"
"Stop! Stop it! Now!" then I ran away crying.
That night:
"Cassie. . . Oh my God! Cassie! No!" I sobbed. I went to go visit the place where Jake had been
killed, and found Cassie, lying in her own blood, with a knife in her hand.
"No! Nononononononono! NO!" I was screaming that one word so loud that I probably woke up Asia,
but I didn't care. Cassie was dead. Gone. My best friend, my cousin's girlfriend. Hell, it was
like we were soul sisters. And now she had killed herself. I sat there and cried. It's funny,
because, literally, those were the first tears I had cried (aside from Jake, of course)in five
years. The first ones I had really remembered. I felt like I was killed, because, really, I was
dead inside my heart. I picked up the knife, thinking 'I'll be with you soon, Jake, Cassie. Soon. Very soon.'
That's when I saw Tobias come down.
'Come on! Chicken! He'll stop you!' I screamed mentally at myself. That's when I broke down.
I jut let it all come out. Everything that happened in the past six years. Everything. When we
got the power, when I lost my memory, when we went through the Sario Rip, when we trailed the
time matrix and I 'broke' my neck. As I said, Everything.
Tobias had swooped down and stolen the knife from my hands. He came back about three minutes
later, running to me. I just felt his arms around me when he embraced me.
"She's dead..." I could just barely hear myself, let alone Tobias.
"Shhh, Rachel, it's okay, it's okay."
"No, Tobias, it's not okay! Jake is dead! Cassie too! But she committed suicide! I'm covered
in her blood! I was holding the knife! They can't find her! Tobias, they never should have found
Jake's body! It would have been so much easier on Cassie! She would have never killed
herself. . . ."
"Rachel, she would have found out sooner or later. If it were later, she would have hung herself.
It causes more pain. I would know. I almost tried it..."
"What?! Tobias, promise me you will never try that again! Tobias, please promise me!"
"I promise."
"I don't know what I would do without you, Tobias. I-I-I never told anyone this, but I-I love
you, too," I stuttered, almost embarrassed.
"I kinda figured it out, a-a-and I think I love you too." We both just sat there in silence, knowing something, then all of a sudden everything turned black. I woke up in Cassie's barn, After a few seconds, I realized what had happened. I remember wishing it were all a dream. Since I woke up in a make- shift bed, (sheets, blankets, hay) I thought I was in a dream. Until I saw Tobias.
He was still covered in blood.
Cassie's blood.
Tears silently streamed down my face. He looked so innocent sleeping. We all do. If my mother came in and saw me sleeping, she would see a popular gymnast, who never even thought about killing. But the thing is, I'm defenseless sleeping. The only reason that I say 'Let's do it!' is because I try to cover up the fact that I'm terrified. Then I realized about telling Marco. Now, there were only three of us left.
"The Visser's going down," I whispered.
"Oh yeah he is," Tobias said. "You looked like you were in deep thought. Anything wrong?"
"Cassie's dead. That's wrong. She killed herself. That's wrong."
"No, she didn't," I looked at Tobias for an explanation. "She was murdered. I
found this."
He handed me a note.
Animorphs - I know you are human. I found this one out, but
she wouldn't tell me who you are. She's stubborn. Or, should I say was stubborn? I will find
you, like I found her. Only, it won't be staged as a suicide. -Visser Three
I stared in shock.
I didn't have any tears left to cry, so I moved on to being shocked.
"We have to warn Marco. Now," I stated plainly.
"What if they have us bugged?"
"They would have already blown up the barn."
"Okay. But, first, the Vissers are going down! Okay, now I sound like you. I'd better
stop." I laughed. I cried. Tobias comforted me. It was then I realized that Tobias and I would
always have each other. Neither of us would die. No matter what. I looked at him, and I knew he felt the same way.
One week later -
We were in battle. Tobias was leader now, Marco didn't want it, and I knew that I would lead us all to our deaths. I felt the Dracon Beam graze my fur. It didn't matter. What mattered was getting to the inner city and killing Visser Three and Visser One. Tobias and I got the pleasure of killing Visser Three, and Marco, Visser One. Marco had an easier job at this. Visser One was not as important to the Earth-dwelling controllers as Visser Three, so she was less guarded. Marco came to help us. That action sealed his fate. Tobias had told him that, when he was done, to get out. Marco came in, and distracted us. He gave Visser Three time to grab a shredder and fire it at me. Marco blocked it. When I asked him later in the hospital why, he said because he knew that Tobias and I were 'madly in love' as he put it.
Anyway.
Marco blocked the shredder beam. Visser Three was so distracted bragging, that I,
a three-hundred pound plus grizzly bear, was able to sneak up behind him and slit his throat.
I said. I twisted his neck. I broke all of his legs. I yanked off his tail, "To keep for a souvenir...." I said, hatred burning in my voice,
Two weeks later -
"Hi, Ax!" I said. I was speaking with a computer program sort of thing that he had installed in all of our computers so we could speak with him any time. All of us except Jake, because of that Tom=Controller thing.
He responded. "Well, I'm just recieving the tail of Visser Three."
"Yah. Hallelujah, Ax-man. So, did they tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"Well, I'm moving away with Tobias in a month. Don't worry, we're keeping this computer. I'm going to miss home. We're going to move to San Francisco. It's upstate. Marco got out, but he died in the hospital." All of the sudden, I broke down. Tobias put on a personal microphone, and talked to Ax for a few moments, then shut down the computer. Instead of seeong him come up to me, I felt him.
"It's okay, we'll get through this together."
Now -
That was two years ago. There's new Animorphs, for the missions when the Sharing tried to start up again. There are very few Human-Controllers now. And the Hork-Bajir colony is huge.
We moved back home, and it's been hard. I visit their graves a lot. It still makes me cry. But remembering them makes me feel better. Tobias and I have baby twins, named Cassie and Jake. I'm pregnant with a boy we're naming Marco. I know it's gonna be hard in the future, but I'm gonna be ready. I've got to live. And I know I'll always love them.