I'm lying on my bed in the middle of the room,

staring at the ceiling,

And think.

So many questions are running through my head.

Why is this happening to me? Is it my entire fault?

All those things I go through..They happen because of me?

Maybe it's just God that hates me…

Or maybe it's because of the person I am?

And this person is that really me? Or am I pretending?

I pretended to be someone I wasn't before…

Maybe I'm just falling into my own trap.

I look at my hands, my sweaty palms.

Hands.

Hands are one of the most amazing things that was ever created by god.

You can use them for so many great things,

Touch. Hold. Hug. Play.

So many things.

But I decided to do the worst.

Last week, I was working on this science project from school.

I took the small stanley knife and brushed it softly on my skin.

And then.

I cut.

I didn't even bother to look at the blood.

I just felt it drip on my wrist.

I didn't care; I just wanted it to hurt somewhere else instead of my feelings.

I wonder if they love the feeling.

If they enjoy the moment they are bringing me down.

When they make me feel like I'm a big nothing…is that the way they see ne?

Why?

What did I do?

I was always the simple small town girl who loved to smile and loved everyone around her.

If I had the courage I would have come to them, look at them straight in their eyes and say,

'Look, look what you've done. Look what you're simple insult did. Made me a freak that no one wants to get close to.'

I decided I wouldn't do it again. I won't cut again.

They are not worth the pain I'm feeling.

I'm lying on my bed in the middle of the room, and smile.

I slowly stand up, walking to the mirror.

Looking at my reflection, my smile gets bigger.

One day, I won't care what people say.

One day I will believe in me.

And this day.. starts today.

Ok Ok I know it's very short!

But it's the first time I'm writing something like this.

I wrote it at like 5 am after a night without sleeping. And I found myself writing this...which is really wierd O_O

I'd really love it if you'll review, thanks! :)