I know, I know I started ANOTHER fic, when I have like three that I have yet to finish... This is dedicated to one of my close friends, who gave me an amazing prompt for a deaf!Lance AU. This ended up being a LOT longer than I had previously anticipated, thus why it quickly turned into a multi-chaptered fic.
This is honestly the prequel chapter, the main plot starts next chapter, though honestly, this could almost be a standalone (it's not though). Anyways! Very loosely based on the story of Mandy Harvey, who you guys should definitely check out because she is an amazing musician. I don't own Voltron, all rights to respective owners, etc, and I hope you guys enjoy!
He knew it was true. He'd realized it the day before, he'd just been in denial.
Lance was deaf.
After months, years of slowly losing his hearing, he was finally, one hundred percent, deaf.
The previous morning, he had been waiting patiently in a coffee shop off-campus, a place that had been part of his routine for months. He always needed coffee first thing in the morning, otherwise he couldn't function properly. Contrary to popular belief, his over-the-top energy levels weren't completely inherent. He had been waiting for a solid ten minutes when it finally registered that he couldn't even faintly hear any of the commotion going on around him. Not the businessman behind him, who was visibly talking heatedly into his phone, nor the lady in front of him, who's baby was screaming and thrashing in her arms. He couldn't hear any of it, even when he turned his hearing aids up as high as possible.
He froze up, trying to make sense of the information being presented to him, but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't seem to deal with it. So he left, slipping back into the dorm room he shared with his best friend Hunk, empty-handed and inexplicably exhausted.
It wasn't a surprise, but it had come at an incredibly inconvenient time. It was finals week at the university he was attending. He'd managed to get into a well-known arts school, along with Hunk, who had been with him since they were in diapers, with the help of a few scholarships he'd managed to secure. He was mostly undecided on his major, though he knew he wanted to do something with music. Music has always been something he could connect with, regardless of his auditory condition, and he wanted to share his passion with others.
He had learned a few instruments during his childhood, thanks to the help of some family and friends. Hunk had been the one to teach him ukulele, after Lance had heard him playing one afternoon. The Garrett's had gifted a beautifully decorated ukulele to Lance after they realized how much he enjoyed playing on Hunk's. Lance had almost refused, but Hunk's parents had insisted, under the guise that their Hawaiian heritage had passed down a number of the instruments through their family, so letting go of one wouldn't hurt. And while that was true, their main hope had been that it would make him happy, even through the struggles he was facing.
His hearing had started to slowly deteriorate just before his fifteenth birthday. No one had realized what was happening until closer to his sixteenth birthday, but none of the doctors or specialists his parents took him to see were able to come up with a clear diagnosis. The degeneration was so slow that doctors estimated that it would take years for him to completely lose his hearing.
And it had continued at a slow pace until he was a few months shy of eighteen. Over the course of a month, the degeneration had sped up, leaving him mostly deaf. Hunk had immediately insisted they learn sign language together, and had used that as a distraction to keep Lance from getting too upset and overwhelmed by the situation. It was during one of his biggest struggles that he realized how much he needed his best friend. And when he realized that he really loved Hunk- in more ways than one.
The decadence had slowed again after the month was over, but it was still faster than its initial rate, and the doctors had still been unable to come up with a viable explanation. Now he was nineteen and living in silence.
When Lance finally collapsed on his bed, he made the quick decision to not tell Hunk. He also decided to forgo his upcoming finals altogether. He knew at least one of them would entail identifying musical notes as they're being played, and he didn't want to put himself through the embarrassment.
Hunk didn't put the pieces together until that weekend, and Lance immediately recognized Hunk's "I'm disappointed in you" look. God, he hated that look.
It took all of five minutes before Lance broke down and explained everything, with shaking hands. When the tears made everything too blurry to see, he closed his eyes and let his hands tell describe what had happened. Immediately after he'd finished, he was enveloped in big arms, holding him close as he cried. He didn't know what he sounded like, or if he was making any noise at all, and that thought just made him cry harder. Hunk just held and rocked him, like the big mama bear that he was.
It didn't take Lance long to drop out. Hunk left the dorms with him, and they rented a small apartment close to the college, as Hunk was still attending. Lance managed to pick up a few jobs here and there, but his disability made that hard. Lance's mood was regularly sour, due to the constant frustration. Hunk was always patient with him, caring, doing whatever he could to help his best friend, but it was hard on both of them. It took a few months, but the tension finally reached a breaking point.
When Hunk got home, everything was silent. There was no noise, at all, in the apartment. After living with a deaf person for a few months, he had gotten used to quiet. Quiet, where there were little sounds here and there that clued him in on what Lance was up to, but not enough to be considered even as loud as normal conversation. After living with a deaf person for a few months, silent was bad. Silent meant that there is no noise at all. Which cued the possibility that something very bad has occurred.
He forced himself to remain calm, refusing to jump to conclusions, as he carefully surveyed the apartment. He walked down the short hall and looked through the first doorway on the right. He wasn't in the kitchen, where he usually was by this point in the day, casually dinking around and fixing them something for dinner. Second door on the right. He wasn't in his room. The bathroom light was off, but Hunk checked the bathtub anyways, just to be safe. Hunk was getting more and more anxious by the second, close to freaking out, when he finally stepped into the living room, relieved to see Lance's head peeking out over the couch.
He didn't relax though, as Lance was sitting ramrod straight, whereas he usually slouched to one side of the couch or the other, leaning against an armrest with a book in his lap.
He eased around to the other side of the piece of furniture, careful not to scare Lance. Lance didn't even glance sideways at him, staring straight ahead. So he'd probably felt Hunk's footsteps. One look at Lance's face, his set jaw, and his eyes, firmly locked on the opposite wall, told Hunk everything he needed to know. Lance was pissed.
He stepped directly into Lance's line of sight, forcing their eyes to meet. It took only a second before Lance looked away, finding a new spot to burn holes into. Hunk took that moment to survey the room, looking for anything that would've set Lance off like that. His eyes were immediately drawn to the coffee table, where a packet lay innocently, and Hunk groaned, a hand coming up to press into his face. He should've known Lance would find it, he had left it on his desk, and Lance was curious by nature.
"What is this, Hunk?" The harsh, jumbled words slowly registered in Hunk's brain. Lance was still working on trying to relearn talking and was getting pretty good at it. He noted that while the words were phrased like a question, it sounded more like a demand. He'd wanted to talk to Lance about the packet, but not like this. He knew this was going to turn into a mess.
'Your mother gave me the idea when I talked to her the other day. I figured it was worth looking into.' Hunk signed, wincing a little despite himself.
"I... I know that I haven't been all that successful with finding a job, but I mean..." Lance drifted off, looking down at the pages in his hands, reading and rereading the heading. 'Disability Benefits Application Form'. "Am I that hopeless?" The look on his face broke Hunk's heart.
'No, of course not!' Hunk was quick to respond, desperate to reassure his best friend before that dangerous train of thought could continue. Hunk knew about Lance's insecurities; the latino boy was always quick to confide in his best friend and had shared most of his worries and fears. Lance didn't want to let his family down. He didn't want to be a burden. He wanted to be independent. He worried about what others thought of him. Despite his big talk, he was incredibly insecure about himself. The last thing Hunk wanted was to be the cause of more insecurities.
"Then why? You've finally given up on me? 'Don't let Lance work, he'll just screw everything up'," Lance had tears in his eyes now, and Hunk ran a hand through his hair. This is not how he'd hoped this conversation would go. Lance just looked so hurt, and Hunk felt the guilt welling up. Lance's voice slowly got louder, more frustrated, more stressed. Each syllable raised in pitch as well, as Lance's accusatory tone just didn't stop. "Am I just a charity case to you? Because you could've just told me if you wanted-"
Hunk cleared the distance between them in two large steps, squatting in front of Lance and placing a hand over his mouth, pressing their foreheads together for a moment. Lance had always been tactile, and touch helped calmed him. He waited until Lance was sufficiently relaxed, the tension in his posture receding, before leaning back just enough to sign properly.
'Of course not. You're my best friend, and nothing changes that. Just because you're deaf, doesn't mean you're useless or helpless. You can take care of yourself just fine. It took a few adjustments, but now I feel completely safe leaving you here by yourself. I trust you, and I know you'll be here, alive and well, when I get back.
'I know you've been pretty bored around here, and I know you've been trying hard to find a job somewhere that works for you. And they have no reason to turn you down without getting to know you at least a little. Anyone who would take the time to get to know you would quickly find out how amazing you truly are. Hell, you can talk just as well, or even better than anyone I've ever met.' Lance gave him a true smile then, the kind that made Hunk's heart beat just a touch faster, because he knew Lance only smiled like that for him.
"Then what's with the form?" Lance asked hesitantly, mostly reassured, but still curious about why Hunk had picked up the application. Hunk sighed, plopping down next to him. The larger male gently plucked the packet out of Lance's loose grip, scanning it as he collected his thoughts. When he was finally ready to explain, he shifted in order to properly face Lance.
'You've been so stressed out lately, so worked up over finding a job, and I didn't like it. I was worried about you,' Hunk admitted sincerely, watching Lance's reactions carefully. 'I told your mother about it, and she suggested disability. I figured it'd give us some breathing room, and give you time to find something you actually enjoy.' Lance's eyes widened.
"You were trying to help me," he realized, sighing and burying his head between his knees. He felt a hand on his shoulder, rubbing his back gently. He had never really noticed until that point, but Hunk had always been there, watching out for him. Hunk noticed all his moods, and always seemed to know how to de-escalate situations before things (Lance) got out of hand.
"You know," Lance spoke softly, or at least, he hoped he was speaking softly. "I... I can't even remember what your voice sounds like anymore." Hunk's eyes widened, and their eyes locked when Lance finally gained enough courage to look up at him.' I'm sorry,' Lance signed, not trusting his voice, and Hunk pulled him into a hug. Lance knew he wasn't the only one upset, and that was confirmed when he felt wet tears settle into his shirt, but neither of them had to say anything. They knew they would be okay.