The Text Messaging Series: From: Pumpkin Patch To: Blue Eyes
Chapter One: Grocery Shopping
May 2007
Fr: Joshua Lyman (Pumpkin Patch)
To: Donnatella Moss (Blue Eyes)
J: Donna. Donna. Are you there? HELP!
D: . . . (typing)
J: HELP!
D: . . . (typing)
J: Donna! Are you writing a novel? HELP!
D: Hi Pumpkin Patch :) What's wrong?
J: Donna! I need help, can I call you?
D: Sorry, running to a meeting in the East Wing.
J: What meeting? Can it wait? I need help!
D: No Joshua. It can't wait.
J: Call me, please!
D: Joshua, just text me the problem, I can try to help before my meeting.
J: I'm at the store . . .
D: Okay . . .
J: Donna I can't find the spaghetti sauce! What aisle is it in? Do they even sell it here?
D: LOL. JOSHUA :)
J: Don't laugh at me Donnatella Moss!
D: I'm sorry Baby, I didn't mean to laugh. I'm laughing at how cute you are though, if that helps.
J: No it doesn't! It doesn't help me at all!
J: Wait, you think I'm cute?
D: Sighs. Yes Josh, I think you are very cute :)
J: :)
J: Good. I think you're cute too. You and those Blue Eyes, that pout, that cute little ass of yours . . .
D: You're naughty! Spaghetti sauce is in aisle 3. Coupon is in your wallet.
J: Ahh-kay. Wait, how do I use the coupon?
D: Bring it to the register.
J: Then what?
D: Give it to the cashier.
J: Does it work on both jars of sauce?
D: I don't know. Read the coupon.
J: Donnnnnna. I don't want to read the coupon. My hands are full with domestic items and my phone!
D: I'm pouting right now . . .
J: Ugh! Fine I will read the coupon.
D: Did you get a basket to put your stuff in?
J: No . . .
D: Joshua, Josh, Josh . . . Don't you think that would have made it easier to shop?
J: Well I guess we will never know now will we? Ugh coupon says BOGO, what's that?
D: Buy One Get One Free.
J: Ahhh kay. I like this coupon.
D: I thought you would ;)
D: I need to go now. Meeting starting. See you at home ;) xoxo love you JL
J: Wait, Donna! Don't leave me alone here. There are too many spaghetti sauces! Which brand?
D: Whichever one is on the coupon.
J: Is BOGO a brand?
D: Lol, no.
J: YOU'RE LAUGHING AT ME AGAIN!? DONNNNNNNNNNNNNA.
D: Did you just yell at me via CAPS through text?
J: No . . .
D: That coupon is for Rao's sauce. It's good. Get it x2. Ttyl, really g2g, bye!
J: Wait, Donna
J: . . . Donna?
J: Donnnnnnna?
J: DoNnA?
J: DoNNA MoSs?
J: Blue Eyes? You there?
J: Donna . . . LYMAN? Did that one get your attention? ;) ;) xoxoxo
J: How bout Donna MOSS-LYMAN?
J: One of those names is gonna happen . . . ;) xoxoxoxox kiss kiss. I 3 you.
J: Come back to me! Come back to your phone! Help your boyfriend!
J: I need help.
J: HELP. H.E.L.P.
J: Please?
D: OMG JOSH. What now?
J: Which sauce? Alfredo? Tomato Basil? Marinara? Those are your choices, everything else is too weird. No mushroom sauce. NO NO NO.
D: You pick! :)
J: K. Does BOGO work if I get 2 different sauces? Or do I gotta get the same?
D: Just get whatever, love you, see you at home, gotta pay attention to meeting, bye!
J: Ima' get tomato basil, cuz it sounds fancy, ya know, for our fancy 6 month anniversary dinner that I told you I was gonna cook for you. I'm all domestic now. Donna Moss you made me domestic. But I'm still taking you out this weekend though, in case my dinner ya know sucks.
J: BTW I love how you said, "see you at HOME." Our home. Cuz we ya know, did a thing and now your mail comes to my (our) address!
J: Happy 6 month anniversary btw. I love you xoxoxo.
J: Best 6 months everrrrrrrrrrr.
J: Can we have sex tonight? This dinner should get me sex . . . ;)
D: Josh! You get sex like every night!
J: Oh so you are there? You respond to that, hmmm?
D: You can't distract me from my meeting by talking about sex!
J: Mmmm, cuz your impervious?
D: Yes
J: And insatiable ;)
D: Joshua!
J: Donna what aisle is the pasta in?
D: Sighs, Josh it should be in the same aisle that you are in now.
J: Ahh-kay. There are so many types, what should I get?
D: You pick Pumpkin Patch, I really g2g now!
J: Wait one more thing!
D: Yes?
J: Can I get CoCo Puffs?
D: No!
J: Lucky Charms?
D: No!
J: Please . . .?
D: It's either the cereal or sex tonight, you pick!
J: Donnnnnna! Can't we ya know do both. A compromise? Like we have to do with Congress ALL. THE. TIME. Maybe I can eat those little pieces of cereal off different parts of your body . . . ;)
D: Josh no cereal!
D: And did you just compare our sex life to Congress!?
J: Noooo . . .?
J ?
J: No I did not.
J: Okay I can see how it may have sounded like that tho . . .
J: K, no cereal. I put it back . . .
J: Have a good meeting :) I love you Blue Eyes, kissy kissy. I can't wait to see you tonight, I missed you all day . . .
J: Pumpkin Patch 3 Blue Eyes
J: Baby don't show these texts to the 1st Lady, k? she'll tell President Santos and then I will never live this down in the WW. I still gotta be the Bulldog at work.
D: Okay I'm responding, you're being cute ;) I love you too xoxo see you at 7.
J: Donna I got ziti. Seriously, you didn't show Helen these messages, right?
J: Where is the garlic bread?
J: Donna I can't find it.
J: Donna?
J: Donna?
J: K, no garlic bread.
J: Can't find parmesan cheese . . . so we won't be having that tonight either . . .
J: Donna, what kind of salad?
J: Donna, too many choices.
J: Donna need your help here.
J: Please!?
J: Donna, do I get kale? Eww.
J: Spinach? Eww.
J: Mixed blend? Looks okay . . .
J: Seriously, you didn't show these texts to Helen or Annabeth, right?
J: Right?
J: I give up.
J: I hate the grocery store.
J: Hi . . . it's me again. I got us takeout . . .