The moaning and keening had started at 8:30 P.M.

8:30

It was now 11:55, and except for one small lull in the noise around 10:00 before which there had been a short period of heavy breathing ending in a rough shout and louder moaning, it had continued without a pause. I had been tossing and turning trying to get to sleep for three hours and twenty-five minutes…make that twenty-six minutes now. That was it. Enough was enough.

I got up out of my warm bed to step out into the freezing air of my room and walked out into the dimly lit hallway to the door next to mine, and pounded for two minutes straight before the door finally opened. Standing in the doorway, was the Uchiha. He was barely covered in a hastily thrown on robe, and his *ahem* equipment was still at attention. I couldn't deny that he was extremely attractive…he was. Orochimaru's curse mark only added to his charisma…but still, I wasn't standing at his door way at midnight for eye candy.

"Mai," he said, his voice throaty and hoarse. "We're kind of busy at the moment."

"You've been busy since lights-out was called. Could you give it a rest? Some of us need sleep."

"Sasuke, who is it?" a familiar voice called from within the room. A moment later, a head of spiky blonde hair popped out. "Oh! Mai, I'm sorry, are we keeping you awake?"

"Mmhmm. I know you guys have raging hormones and need to release sexual frustration, but really, Naruto, could you guys keep it to one hour a night?"

Naruto was blushing hard, and Sasuke was smirking. "We'll see what we can do, Mai," said Sasuke. "Sorry for keeping you up, good night."

I headed back to my room and sighed in content. Blessed, blessed silence.

All the ninja from my class had been assigned one dormitory building. Of course, being teenagers, most of the others had moved from one building to another to be with friends and what not. In fact, the only one who hadn't changed buildings or rooms was me. So the people in my class had moved to different buildings to live with significant others, and guess who had moved in? The yaoi couples.

I don't mind gay couples. What red blooded female would mind two hot guys getting it on? You'd have to be sexless, or a straight guy to think that wasn't the epitome of sexiness.

I didn't mind them moving in at all. In fact, I'd become friends with every one of them since they'd first moved in. Naruto and Sasuke, Lee and Gaara, Kiba and Neji... they were all good friends of mine, along with Kankuro, Shikamaru and Shino, who weren't gay. It's just that hearing them get it on every night was starting to get annoying. I'm sure that if I had any type of love life at all, this wouldn't be the case, but I didn't, so it annoyed me.

Sakura and Ino (who had intended to move in too, to be close to Sasuke, but were shoved out because of a shortage of rooms) had found out about Sasuke's relationship with a certain blonde spazz, and were now avid Sasu-Naru fans. They envied my proximity to the holy couple and after a series of muggings, surprise attacks, room ransackings and various other violent meetings, we became friends. Kind of humorous, but there you go.

I drifted off to sleep and what felt like two minutes later, my alarm rang.

I groaned and dragged myself out of bed to dress. After various pointless missions which included a treed cat, runaway laundry and a pissed off chicken, I made my way to the Hokage's office.

"Yes, Lady Tsunade?" I asked when she motioned for me to enter.

"Mai, you and the people in your dormitory have been working diligently," she said as I joined my fellow residents in front of her desk. "The only missions we've been receiving are small. The gennin can deal with them. You are all on vacation until further notice. Except you, Mai, I have a mission for you. The boys have been telling me that they're keeping you up at night and they came to me for help. Well, I've got the perfect plan. Mai, your mission is to get laid."

Following this speech was a heavy silence that lasted for a while. Let's just say, if tumble weeds grew in Konoha, one would be making it's way across the floor.

I responded with complete grace and intelligence with, "Umm…What?"

"Well," said Tsunade. "We think that if you stopped being so uptight and had a sexcapade, you wouldn't be so irritable when the others had a bit of fun."

"Oh…" I said. My head was spinning and I walked past my dorm-mates and out of the office in an embarrassed daze.

The guys thought I was irritable and uptight? That was the equivalent of saying I was a cold bitch with a stick up my butt. I couldn't believe it. Weren't my requests reasonable? Keep it down, so I could sleep. Try and cut down on the orgasms…Come to think of it, I did sound like a bitch. Who was I to tell them to stop enjoying themselves? How were they supposed to be quiet while doing the most basic thing humans knew of? They were allowed to be loud, it was their right to be uninhibited when having sex.

Maybe Tsunade was right. I couldn't be a virgin forever. It was time to get laid.