Team: Water Tribe
Round:2
Catagory: Drabble
Prompt:8 (Depression)
Word Count: 644
It was late when Asami finally sat down at her desk to write a letter. The day had been long, stressful and emotionally draining. Honestly, it was really taxing the way it would come, like a bolt from the blue, bubbling up to the surface and consuming her whole day. Three years now she had dealt with it the best she could. Some days, it would cripple her to the point of not being able to get out of bed, hardly eating or doing anything. Other days, she could function, attend meetings, go out with friends, but it was only a front, masking her pain. And still other days, she felt like herself, full of energy and light.
Was falling in love like this for everyone?
Well, that was probably a no, she thought, taking out her pen and paper. Not everyone fell in love with someone who was miles away, the same sex, and the Avatar. Oh yeah, and one minor detail, Korra had no idea about her feelings.
That was probably the worst part of it all. It had taken Asami a long time to piece together how she felt, it was confusing, a little unnerving. She had dated men all her adult life and suddenly she was falling for a girl? But when she had finally realized, it was too late. Korra was gone, back to the South Pole for rehabilitation. Her opportunity to speak up had slipped through her fingers.
But then, Korra's first letter arrived. Asami remembered the subtle flutter her heart had given when she saw the letter sitting proudly atop her other, less interesting mail. The suspended breath has she ripped it open and read it. The elation that came with realizing she had means of communicating with Korra!
Not long after that came the panicking, gut-wrenching "what if's?".
What if she told Korra and the Avatar didn't feel the same? What if she never came back because of it? Asami already feared that she wouldn't but what if? It was a paralyzing feeling, one she couldn't overcome. She would lose her friend, her best friend. She would lose the lover she wished she had. More often than not, it was those thoughts that rendered her thoroughly depressed and frozen. The thoughts that kept her in bed all day.
She shook her head roughly, right now she didn't need those thoughts. She wanted a clear head, she was finally going to write it. The letter to Korra explaining everything, how she felt, how much she missed her and how she wanted her to come home. Asami picked up the pen, took and deep breath and began.
Dear Korra,
It seems silly to ask how you are, I know you are struggling right now. Katara is pushing you hard, but I think you need that right now. You need someone that is 100% in your corner, ready to fight with you. Not for you but with you. You are strong, no one needs to take on your battles for you. I see that better than anyone.
Because I love you.
I think I always have, in the back of my mind, under the surface. But I realized it when you were poisoned, I was terrified. I was afraid of losing you. I'm afraid of losing you now, telling you this. I'm afraid you may never come back.
But I want you to know, I love you, and will always fight with you.
Yours forever,
Asami
Stretching, she put down her pen, re-read the letter over and over and then picked it off her desk. In one swift motion, she crumpled it up and threw it into a nearby bin.
Of course, she would never send the letter she had written a thousand times already.
But it did help to write it. It helped deal with the depression immensely.