Moonstar: it was all my idea!! Because of my genius, Brackenfur now has a deputy campaign!! Mwahahahahaha!!

Spiritwind: yeah, but if it wasn't for me, you'd go insane. And you sound dumb when you laugh evilly -

Moonstar: you're worse at it.

Spiritwind: - and if you don't shut up, no one's going to read the story.

Moonstar (sniffs): fine then. But I get to read the disclaimer. We do not own Warriors! If we did, Brackenfur would be deputy.

Spiritwind: warning, contains hyperness, randomness, annoyingness, and Moonstar.

Moonstar: and Spiritwind.

Spiritwind: but containing Spiritwind doesn't require a warning.

Moonstar: ... hey, what's that supposed to mean?!

Spiritwind: Figure it out. I'm sure the readers will. Speaking of readers, let's get on with the story before you scare them away.

Brackenfur Campaign: Segment I

Spiritwind heard a tearing noise coming from Moonstar's den. She ignored it, thinking Moonstar was just having a Moonstar moment, but when it got louder and louder and didn't stop she decided to investigate.

Moonstar stood over her copy of Sunset, tearing it to shreds. Spiritwind pounced on her and took away the half-shredded book.

"What in StarClan's name are you doing?" the medicine cat growled.

"Firestar was about to make Brackenfur deputy!" Moonstar whined. "And then he chose Brambleclaw instead!!"

"What?" gasped Spiritwind. "That's... that's..." she leapt on Sunset and started shredding it.

Now don't get us wrong, we love Brambleclaw and all, but Brackenfur needs to be deputy. That's just the way it is. He's well qualified, a great warrior, a caring mate, and he's freakin' awesome.

"I have an idea!" meowed Moonstar.

"Does it involve sporks?" asked Spiritwind.

No answer.

"I have a better idea," mewed Spiritwind. "Lets -"

" - start a Brackenfur deputy campaign!!" finished Moonstar.

"That wasn't what I was thinking, but that works too..." meowed Spiritwind hesitantly.

"It'll be awesome!" Moonstar cheered. "We can do advertisements and rallies and all that cool stuff, even fancy dinners... with sporks!"

"Um... no." Spiritwind meowed flatly. "Besides, don't you think we should get Brackenfur's permission?"

"Nah, he'll be fine with it," Moonstar insisted. "C'mon, what are we waiting for?"

Spiritwind glared at her leader. "Well, I have an English - er, hunting test tomorrow, you haven't done all your homework - I mean, duties, my den is being destroyed by idiot sevies - I mean, enemy cats... oh yeah, and Brackenfur lives in the story. We DON'T."

"So?"

"So we can't do anything!"

"Why don't we just poof into the story?" suggested Moonstar. "It's easy. You just go one... two..."

"Don't do it!" cried Spiritwind. "You always screw it up!"

"It'll be fine," Moonstar insisted, "as long as there are no distractions in the general vacinity... ooh look, a butterfly!"

"Well, since you can't poof properly, I'll do it," meowed Spiritwind with a humph. "One... two... three... poof!"

There was a loud poof, a flash of light, and Moonstar and Spiritwind were gone.

OOOOO

Brackenfur was returning from hunting patrol with Sorreltail, Poppypaw and Honeypaw. Cinderpaw was leaving camp just as they were walking in, padding behind Cloudtail on sunhigh patrol.

"Where's the rest of the patrol?" asked Brackenfur, seeing that his daughter and her mentor were the only ones.

"Everyone's busy," mewed Cinderpaw with a shrug.

Brackenfur's eyes narrowed. "We'll see." He stalked over to the warrior's den. Inside, Spiderleg and Hazelpaw were sharing tongues.

"Spiderleg! Hazelpaw! Sunhigh patrol, now!" ordered Brackenfur. The two cats nodded, and wordlessly sprang to attention. They darted out of the den and joined Cloudtail and Cinderpaw as they left camp.

"Wow, daddy!" Poppypaw chirped. "Everyone listens to you!"

"Yeah," agreed Honeypaw. "Maybe you oughta be deputy!"

Brackenfur laughed. "I don't know. Brambleclaw's a good deputy."

"But you'd be a better deputy," insisted Poppypaw.

Brackenfur searched his mind for an excuse to give his kits. "I er... in order to be deputy, you need a campaign," he explained.

"A ca-what?" meowed Honeypaw and Poppypaw in unison.

"A campaign," meowed Brambleclaw firmly.

"What's a campaign?" they asked eagerly.

"A campaign is where you put up signs, hand out stickers with your face on it, and have fancy fundraising dinners," he explained.

"With sporks?" asked Honeypaw.

"What's a spork?" inquired Poppypaw.

Brackenfur laughed. "A spork is like a spoon-fork hybrid."

"What's a spoon-fork hybrid?" asked Honeypaw.

"Maybe it's like a ThunderClan-RiverClan hybrid," suggested Poppypaw.

"I'm NOT a hybrid!" sulked Stormfur as he passed.

"Maybe like a mouse-chipmunk hybrid?" Honeypaw chipped in.

"I'm NOT a hybrid!" sqeaked the mouse-chipmunk hybrid at their feet.

"Anyway," Brackenfur continued, "I can't be deputy, because I don't have a campaign."

"Well then get a campaign!" mewed Honeypaw.

Brackenfur laughed again. His kits could be so mousebrained and silly. "It's not that easy," he explained. "A campaign is hard to assemble. You need all the equipment, plus people to manage it, and those things aren't going to appear out of thin air."

Suddenly, the air around them started shimmering. Two forms began to take shape - one of a very pale gray she-cat with deep blue eyes, and the other a tortoiseshell she-cat with a white diamond on her chest and white paws.

"Who're they?" whispered Honeypaw.

"Who're they?" whispered Moonstar.

"Shut up," hissed Brackenfur to Honeypaw.

"Shut up," hissed Spiritwind to Moonstar.

"Oh my gosh," Moonstar exclaimed. "ITS BRACKENFUR!!!"