Summary: How she even ended up here in the first place was something she'd been trying to figure out for the past thirty minutes. Maybe it was the fact that Lindsey had suggested the three come along after the concert for some fun. And Miley, of course, was always up for fun. Who calls fumbling around like a idiot fun? Lilly and Oliver are stuck taking care of a drunken Miley. Lollie.

Author's Note: I'm giving the Lollie pairing another try. This popped into my head the other day so I decided to run with it! It's summer so I'm in need of a summer project. Review and you'll get more...but if not, this is going into the 'Deleted Stories' pile. Sad, right? Yes. So, review my loves!

This fic is named after the song 'Earthquakes and Sharks' by 'Brandtson'. A 'hilarious must-hear'!

Earthquakes And Sharks

Chapter 1

Take Me Out Tonight

Lights flashed wildly around her as she weaved through the crazy throng of club goers. How people could willingly get shitfaced drunk like that and know that they'd ultimately make a complete and utter fool out of themself, was beyond her knowledge. How she even ended up here in the first place was something she'd been trying to figure out for the past thirty minutes. Maybe it was the fact that Lindsey had suggested the three come along after the concert for some fun. And Miley, of course, was always up for fun. Who calls fumbling around like a idiot fun?

These people did, Lilly decided.

"Hey bab-e," a guy clearly too intoxicated to talk or think straight came up to her, grabbing her around the waist. A beer dangled in his grip, daring to crash to the floor, and the intense smell of alcohol blew into her face as he 'attempted' to talk.

"Come da-n-nce wit me, baby," he said dragging her out onto the dance floor, his hands trying to find a lower spot than her waist. Lilly gasped and immediately threw his hands off of her. She was in her right mind to smack him good and hard across the face, but before she knew it, another girl had taken her place in his hands. The two disappeared into the crowd, leaving Lilly there with burning cheeks. Partly from embaressment, partly from anger.

She had to find Miley and Oliver.

Snapping out of her angry trance, Lilly continued her search, trying to get as far away from the dance floor as possible. People like that made her feel filthy. She wasn't about to take any chances and be pulled back in by another guy. She had to get out of here.

Everyone looked the same with the flashing lights and constant dancing, which made it nearly impossible to find anyone. These crazy lights were quickly making her feel more lightheaded, and if she couldn't find Miley soon, she was leaving without her. Not that she had a ride or anything, but that's what she kept telling herself.

"WooHoo! Lil-s comejoin us!" a firmilar voice called from somewhere above her. It was Miley. With Lindsey. Dancing on a table. Great.

Not.

Empty shot glasses sat around their dancing feet. Lindsey had chosen to go blonde on this particular outting, so telling Lindsey from Miley...excuse me Hannah... was going to be difficult. It was just a bunch of wild blonde hair and short dresses...yeah...way too short dresses. At least the world already knew Lindsey was actually a redhead, 'cause if they didn't. Well, let's just say they knew now. Lilly quickly averted her eyes.

"Mi-Hannah! What the hell are you doing up there?" Lilly exclaimed. She knew which was Miley now.

Will the real Miley Stewart please stand up...or sit down, rather...

Hell, would you both just sit down!

"Come on Lils! Loosen up! Have some fuun!" Miley said, clearly drunk beyond reason.

"Yeah Lils! Have some fun!" Lindsey chimmed in. Lilly then and there lost all (if she'd ever had any) respect for the actress.

"Hann, would you please come on? I really don't like it here!" Lilly told her, and gave her friend a hand to help her down. Where in the world was Oliver? Oh, he was gonna get it!

Instead, Miley took hold of Lilly's hand and hauled her up onto the table with them.

"I looove you, Lilly Willy!" Miley exclaimed, latching onto Lilly's neck. Lilly was sure the stench of alcohol from Miley's breath permanetly damaged her abilty to smell.

"Hannah? What are you doing?" she asked, almost too shocked by the situation.

"Hav-ing fun Lilly Pad!" Miley answered and grabbed her friend's hand, encouraging her to dance along with she and Lindsey. She had to get Miley out of here...

"Hannah Bug! Guess who I just saw over there?" Lilly exclaimed, almost too excited, but Miley was too drunk to notice,"Orlando Bloom! I was just telling him about your new song and he said he'd kill to hear it! Why don't we go see where he's at, huh?"

Number one, Hannah didn't have a new song.

Number two, Orlando Bloom was not anywhere remotly near there. Most likely, he was at a coffee shop or on a dang pirate ship. Not a trashy night club.

"Really Lils! I wan-na go see 'im," Miley exclaimed, but Lilly had already ripped her down from the table and had her half way to the door.

"Bye-Bye Lindz!" Miley waved back, the music too loud for anyone to have heard her.

"Hey! Lils! Hannah!" Oliver exclaimed as he saw the two headed for the door. Lilly looked offically POed, even with the makeup and the wig. Oliver almost half laughed, but then saw Miley leaning on Lilly, unable to stand straight.

"What is that!" Lilly hissed, pointing to the drink in Oliver's hand.

"It's just a soda! I swear!" Oliver slightly drew back in fear of Lilly's wrath.

He was such a pansy sometimes.

Guy, couldn't handle the real stuff.

But she was glad. She couldn't deal with two drunk friends in one night. It just wasn't possible for one girl.

"Where's Orlando?" Miley asked, waking up from her quiet trance.

"Orlando?" Oliver asked, "Oh! Orlando! He told me that he had to step outside for a second, but to come find him when you were ready to um...talk,"

It was amazing how well Oliver caught on to Lilly's scemes in times of crisis. She was so thankful. But these lights and everyone's bodyheat were getting to her, and she really needed to get out of there. She felt like she was getting a hangover from just smelling Miley's breath. Goa, maybe she was the pansy.

"Let's get you guys outta here," Oliver said, and lead the two girls outside.

The nice night breeze was a welcomed relief as they stepped out. The streets outside the club were crazy, but not as crazy as inside. Lilly breathed deep as Oliver took Miley off her hands for a second. Lilly quickly realized celebrity was always 21, as Miley hung onto Oliver for dear life, giggling and snorting like an idiot. The bouncers stood outside the doors like Her Majesty's men in England. She couldn't tell if they were looking on at the spectual Miley was creating. Their shades were too dark. They obviously weren't informed that it was about twelve o' clock at night.

"Oliver, you're like so friggin' hot! Lilly...isn't Oliver hot?" Miley babbled on, hanging all over him like the slut that she wasn't. Lilly reminded herself never to let Miley hang out with Lindsey again. Ever.

"What?" she asked. Miley's words were getting more and more slurred.

"Oliver is like so hot isn't he, Lils? Come on...just like look at him...I could just-" she purred, her face inches from his. Oliver blushed, but still steadied her. Miley seemed like a fragile glass doll in his hands, about to fall and break any moment.

"Yeah, sure Hann, but we really need to get you home..." Lilly said uncomfortably. This situation just kept getting worse and worse.

"Where's Orlando?"

"Who?"

"Orlando! Orlando!" Miley called out, letting go of Oliver and stumbling out onto the street. Cars zoomed by the star as she danced around giggling histarically.

"Hannah! Oliver! Get her!" Lilly shrieked to her bestfriend. Oliver barely got her back on the curb before a cab almost flattened them both, laying on the horn.

"Hannah! What the heck do you think you're doing?" Lilly exclaimed as the two stumbled back towards her.

"Hannah? Who's Hannah?" Miley asked in a yawn. And with that she was out like a light on Oliver's shoulder.

Haha! That was pretty fun to write! Lemme know what you think! Hopefully it'll be as good as Voices In the Horizon...but ya know, not sad and all. And btw, I have nothing against Lindsey Lohan. I actually like her, but she seemed like a better candidate than Paris so...

Anyways, if you were wondering...

T H E R E V I E W B U T T O N I S B E L O W