The Following Trailer Is Rated NM For No Mercy!
From the franchise that has been knocking it out of the park for over a decade, comes the film that hit a home run at the box office, but brought The MCU's uninterrupted record of excellence to a screeching halt faster than a rock to Joss Whedon's face.
Captain Marvel!
Return to the magnificent reaches of the Marvel universe, and meet Vers, an earthborn Kree warrior blessed with great power, talent, and all the emotion of a boiled potato.
When a encounter with her sworn enemies, the Skrulls, goes terribly wrong, Captain Deadpan must return to Earth and uncover her lost past… of getting abused, maligned, and lied to by every white guy that she has ever known in her life. Yeah, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal subtle there Marvel.
Witness the neutering (Am I allowed to say that about a female character?) of one of Marvel's mightiest heros, as all of Captain Marvel's nuclear-level power is reduced to beating some non powered dude's asses and blowing up a few ships, ending in a climax that built itself up with the promise of a juicy intergalactic melee… until the Kree bitched out and ran home like whipped puppies.
Meet a diverse cast of characters that range from beloved Marvel mainstays, to interesting new allies, to boring-ass side characters that contribute nothing; and finally witness the long awaited story of how Nick Fury lost his eye, in a reveal that is both funny and sadly disappointing at the same time.
So suit up for a film that Marvel pushed through in a desperate attempt to cough up a heroine as interesting and inspiring as DC's Wonder Woman, only to succeed to creating yet another stale blonde. (As if we didn't have enough of those in real life) Because if we are going for comparisons, then comparing Wonder Woman to Captain Marvel is like comparing homemade Apple Pie to a dry sugar cookie from the expired rack at Walmart.
Starring:
Jodi Whittaker- Carol Danvers
(Facepalm)- Mar-Vell
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... – Maria Rambeau
"Soooooooooo….. do you want me to actually do anything?"- Ronan
My Man Stan- Stan Lee
Alien Garfield- Goose
The Supreme Douche- The Supreme Intelligence
Captain Whiz-Bang!
That does it say about a Marvel film when the alien cat and the Stan Lee cameo are the best parts of the movie?