Ranger's POV:

Leaning up against Stephanie's apartment door listening to her sob over my departure is completely unraveling me. I have been in some horrific situations in my life and still held the ability to keep my composure and not break, but seeing and hearing the pain in the one person, the one woman that I love more than life itself is killing me.

"What have I done? How could I not see this coming? How could I not know that this is how she had been feeling?"

Sighing Deeply.

"Mr. Always aware of his surroundings and I was unable to identify just how intense her love is for me and the agony she has been in as I, I…Dios, oh I hope she doesn't think that our relationship was of pure pleasure for me, that I used her when I needed a fix."

Cupping my face in my hands I notice something moist. A tear? A single tear has escaped my dark, troubled eyes. I haven't allowed a tear to escape in years upon years…since childhood.

With another painfully deep sigh I think to myself, "Maybe this could work, I mean I do lover her. Who am I kidding, I am completely in love with her and the thought of actually losing her is unbearable."

A wave of anxiety washes over me at the actual thought of losing Stephanie Plum, my Babe. I realize then that I need her; I want an "Us." The heart of Mr. Lone Wolf, mercenary trained killer has been captured by the beautiful and tenacious Bombshell Bounty Hunter and his rules and qualifiers no longer seem important, at least where Stephanie Plum is concerned.

As I am about to turn around and let myself back into Steph's apartment and tell my Babe that I am sorry, tell her my true feelings, open up to her, beg for her forgiveness and for a real relationship my phone rings. Checking my watch for the time I notice that it is now 1:30 in the morning and nothing good comes from a call at 1:30 in the morning, at least not when you are Ranger Manoso.

"Manoso"

My heart drops the instant I receive the message being translated on the other end of the line.

"Understood"

Hanging up the phone I curse my government contract. Steph said she could handle my missions and my being gone for months on end as long as I communicate with her ahead of time and I let her know that I am leaving, call if I can but if not she understood and would wait for me. I should tell her.

As I turn to once again enter her apartment I realize the sobbing has lessened but there are still the faint sounds of sniffles and breath catching. Oh, it pains me to hear her in such distress. Suddenly a sickening thought comes crashing into me like a vicious and strong ocean wave crashing into the shore. What if something happens and I don't return to her. She said that she would wait for me to return. She said she could handle your missions as long as I communicate and no that I will return for her. Dios, why didn't I end my government contract when I had the chance. No, I opted for six more missions…fool.

This is my sixth and final mission and from what I gathered during the short conversation with my superior is that it may be my last but it will definitely be my worst and most dangerous mission. All my missions are dangerous but the level of danger of what awaits me far exceeds at least the last five missions I have taken. My chance of return is slim. My superior did not voice this personally, but I have the ability to sense these things and from the information he did give there is no doubt in my mind of the level of danger regarding my final government mission.

What if it becomes impossible for me to return to her? I can not go into Steph's home, declare my love for her, claim her as mine and me as hers, only to turn around and knowingly leave for god knows how long on a suicide mission…lucky to return at all.

Steph is already in the process of mourning me in a way and I can not do that to her twice. I love her too much for that and I know that my love has to be shown by walking away…for now.

I do however vow that if by some miraculous chance in god I do make it home to my Babe I will tell her all of how I feel and I can only hope she will accept me back in her life and as the role of her partner and her lover. For this, I will not quite. No, I will fight with all I have to get home to her, my Babe!