Those crimson eyes of yours,
Stared into my mismatched eyes...
Neither smiling nor frowning,
Your neutral expression was engraved in my mind...
Never have I thought that you would betray me,
Not to mention leaving me...
I glared at your leaving back,
Eyes filled with anger and sadness…
No matter how much I wanted to shout "Don't leave me",
It never came out of my mouth... thanks to my pride...
You turned on your heels and started walking off,
Leaving me behind, all alone...
I thought that your departure would not affect me,
But I was greeted with disbelief and eternal sadness by it...
I promised myself to never cry again,
Yet my tears could not help themselves, but shed for you...
My knees gave out to meet the ground,
Hands covering my face...
Sobbing uncontrollably and quietly,
I laughed silently at my own stupidity...
Why had I not realized it before...?
That I had been too dependent on you...
Making it hard for me to forget about you...
Making it hard for me to accept the fact that you left me...
I cried my heart out that very night...
Yearning to feel your warmth again...
Your voice echoed in my mind endlessly...
And caused my tears to roll down even more furiously...
So many years have passed...
Yet the shadow of you still lurks in my broken heart...
I have always known that it was my soul that you wanted...
Yet you did not take it with you when you leave...
As I looked at my reflection in the wall mirror,
I frowned sadly with grief...
There was no longer life in my big round and navy eyes...
As your mark was no longer there...
It was the evidence that you have disappeared from my life years ago...
The only evidence that made me even more depressed...
I picked up the blade that was laid on the small table...
And brought it up closer to my chest...
"3 years without you was tough..." I said,
As I smiled sadly at how silly I looked...
You granted me a new life... and now, I am going to return it to you...
The knife slowly pierced my heart, causing it to bleed...
"It hurts..." yes, indeed...
"...but it doesn't hurt me more than the time when you left..."
I felt my blood leaving me...
And that I was drifting away from life...
I shut my eyes close at the last moment...
Preparing to face the upcoming death...
"Bocchan..." I heard...
It was your voice...
I opened my eyes slightly, just slightly...
But it was enough for me to look at you...
You have returned back to me...
But I have to apologize... as now; I am the one who's leaving...
As my heart throbbed with great grief...
My eyes started to fill with tears...
You frown deeply at me dying...
Yet you said nothing...
I smiled as my tears flowed down...
I knew it was not a dream...
Then, I closed my eyes once again...
As my life drifted away from me...
Before I was fully gone, you seemed to realize what was happening…
I heard you shouting my name over and over again...
Panicky, you tried to stop my bleeding...
Though all I did in return was to die in your arms, with my final words whispered...
"...I love you...Sebastian..."
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