I really don't know what went wrong. I guess we just weren't really happy anymore. It wasn't a big shocker when Rose said she wanted to move on. We just kind of laid our hearts on the table and discussed what we wanted. We just decided that maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe three days was a little quick to judge.

Sure, Rose means everything to me. Maybe, just in a different way than I did before. And she does too, she told me. We love each other more like brother and sister now. I feel like sometimes we stayed together just because we were afraid of being alone.

Rose moved out this morning, she found another apartment. She said she would call later but, she never gets to it with any of her friends so I'm not really expecting a call.

I kind of still do love her. I'm just trying to push it into my head that I love her as a friend. But I do still love her, more than just a friend- or a sister. But I let our relationship slip away, I distanced myself.

Christ, the last time we made love was about 6 months ago, and to be honest, it wasn't the best sex I've had with her, either. It felt forced, like I had to do it, for her. Not because both of us genuinely wanted to. It was robotic, and definitely not making love, it was nothing like what we shared in the car in the cargo hold on the Titanic. And I guess we both noticed it then, that it's never going to be like it was. So we just became roommates, we didn't cuddle; we slept on the ends of our beds. We didn't even touch.

Last week she told me she wanted to move out and I let her. I let her slip away from me. I let her go just like I promised I wouldn't. She looked disappointed almost, when she left. Hell, I would too! Or I am. Everything we had together, all the memories, Titanic, gone.

Well not gone, but you know what I mean. So now I don't have anyone I can really trust. But for now, I'm just going to have to push it aside because, well, Rose did so I need to too.

*Flashback*

(One week ago)

I fell asleep on the couch last night trying to draw anything that could come to my head, and I woke up to Rose calling my name.

I walked over to her, running my hands through my hair to try to make it look a little better.

"What's up, honey?"

I said, trying to flash a smile, but she just looked away.

"Rose?"

I said, realizing she was crying.

"I-I want to move out."

Her words shocked me, but as I took them in I realized how unhappy we really were.

"Oh... Well... Okay."

"Okay? Is that all you're going to say? You aren't going to say 'Oh, Rose, don't go I love you.'"

She imitated my voice when she talked.

"Babe, of course I don't want you to go but-"

"DON'T call me babe anymore."

I ignored her.

". But I want you to be happy- even if it isn't with me."

She looked me in the eyes. Her eyes shone with unshed tears and it broke my heart.

"Rose."

I said, leaning forward to embrace her.

"No."

She pushed me away and walked to the kitchen counter.

"I'm going to stay at Michelle's for the night, and the rest of the day today. Goodbye."

Rose said, taking her purse and walked out of our apartment, leaving me with mixed-up feelings in my stomach that I didn't like.

*End of flashback*

So here I am, lying in bed at 2:37 am, replaying everything that went wrong in my head, and to be honest, I messed up so many things. No wonder she wanted to leave me. Should I have really let her go? Could we have worked it out?

But it's too late now, I guess.

Damn.

I guess I really fucked this up big time, huh?

And sometimes I wonder,

Will I ever see Rose again?