The room was peaceful, moonlight slicing through the darkness, illuminating the sleeping baby in the cot. She hesitated, looked behind her to see if anyone would walk in and catch her but the corridor was mercifully empty. She stole back to the cot and peeked over to the baby. Resting her hands on the top, Sister Brigid caught her breath. She had her sister's eyes. Those big beguiling eyes. The child would be a heartbreaker. The girl would forever remind her of her sister and she would never know it because Jill and Gordon would be adopting her. Brigid's head thought it best but her heart rebelled, telling her that Aisling was hers to take care of. Her own flesh and blood and she couldn't take care of her. She had taken her orders in the convent because it was in her heart. But now, her heart was somewhere else. It existed outside her body, like it should have been with Moira, because her child was a piece of her heart. But Moira couldn't be there to experience it because she was dead. How could things have turned out this way?
Brigid had contentedly given up her chance to become a mother and her joy was at helping others become one. She was an excellent midwife and fully understood the gift of children. Just for other women. She had long thought of it as someone else's prerogative, could never get used to thinking of having one of her own. Looking down at Aisling, those tiny starfish hands and wisp of hair on top of her head, Brigid longed to pick her up. She reached out and rested a finger against the baby's. Her finger curled around and gripped Brigid's in a stronghold. Brigid couldn't help the faint smile that flitted across her face. She had remembered a long time ago when Moira was a baby and she as a little girl, had peeked over the cot and done the same thing. The motion of her sister's finger was the same as her daughter's. The smile was gone, the lone tear that had threatened to spill, was streaming down her cheek. There used to be nothing in the world as important to her as her faith and now it was being usurped by this little baby who had no idea what she was capable of. Brigid would do anything for her. It wasn't her place to do so but she wished right now that she could. She had all the respect in the world for these brilliant doctors but with all the good will in this world, she wanted to hold baby Aisling, to take care of her and to watch her grow up. For years she had wanted nothing but the life that she had now. And now she didn't want it. It was a horrible feeling, to be so ungrateful for the chance that she had been given but she couldn't even bring herself to care, that was the worst of it.
The girl sighed in her sleep and released her hold. Brigid watched her miserably, folding her arms over on top and resting her head, hoping that nobody would come and disturb them. She looked at the window, the moonlight dancing free and easy just out of her reach. If only she could be like that. She'd never wanted to, never needed to. She was the older sister; she needed to set an example. But Moira was gone and Aisling was going to be influenced by her future, not her past. She had thought that she had resigned herself to what was going to happen but at that moment, little flame of rebelliousness had lit its spark in her.
An indescribable thought had just flashed through her. She couldn't. Could she? She looked around one more time. Nobody was here. She could. They wouldn't know until morning and by then she would become untraceable. She looked up once more at the shimmering light as it danced around and mocked her lightly. She would miss the convent. But she knew right now that she would miss Aisling more.
Sliding her arms around the sleeping baby, she picked her up, wrapped her around in a regulation hospital blanket, cradled her to her heart and walked out unnoticed with their future unsecure, but worth more than ever. For Moira and her baby, she had to.