Bernadette and Howard stood weighed down by huge bags and brightly coloured toys. In Bernadette's right hand, a baby carrier swung gently. They were speaking so fast that Sheldon and Amy were having a hard time keeping up, especially with Bernadette's high pitched, squeaky voice.
"Thanks for doing this guys, it really helps us out" Howard dumped the bags he was carrying onto the floor.
"Oh it's no trouble" Amy assured him. She smiled at the little sleeping boy in the carrier.
"Yes, yes. Go, have fun, rekindle that old spark that was once your marriage" Sheldon waved a nonchalant hand at the couple who looked at him disapprovingly.
"So are you sure you've got everything?" Bernadette turned back to Amy.
"Yes, guys it's fine. Godmother and Godfather are here" Amy took the baby out of Bernadette's hands and cooed at Michael who still had his eyes firmly shut.
Howard and Bernadette looked at each other in confusion.
Howard leant down to whisper to his wife, "They aren't Godparents are they?"
"Ssh! Of course not" Bernadette hissed.
"Well, are you sure we should be leaving him here?" Howard watched his baby with caution as Sheldon and Amy gently rocked his carrier.
"Look, Leonard and Penny aren't available. Plus, it's only for a few hours. What could go wrong? Look at them"
The couple smiled at the domestic scene in front of them.
Unfortunately, Bernadette's whispered words tempted fate.
Sheldon accidentally knocked the carrier, woke Michael and so horrendously loud sobbing ensued.
In the midst of the noise and confusion, Howard and Bernadette saw their opportunity and slowly backed out of the apartment.
"Ok see you in a few hours!" Howard shouted over the noise.
"Don't leave Sheldon alone with him" Bernadette yelled one last instruction to Amy.
And with that, they were gone.
Once outside, they closed the door and made a break for it down the stairs.
"You don't think we're bad parents do you?" Bernadette asked, concerned.
"Relax honey. They'll be fine. Amy has been dating a big baby for the past six years, she's practically an expert"
Howard clasped his wife's hand and they made their way out of the building. Unspoken concern over the fate of their baby looming over them.
Back upstairs, Amy was gently rocking the carrier back and forth in an effort to calm the crying child.
"Uh, why won't it stop?" Sheldon moaned. He had seated himself in his spot and switched on the television, much to Amy's annoyance.
"You know; you could help" She crossed her eyebrows at him.
Sheldon sighed and stood, "Fine"
He joined Amy and instructed her to hold the carrier steady. Once stable, he unclicked the buckle and lifted the infant into his arms.
Holding him close to his chest, Sheldon supported the baby with one hand and gently held his head with the other. He bobbed slowly back and forth on his toes in a rocking motion. His lips gently buzzed from the gentle hums of 'soft kitty'.
Eventually, the crying stopped.
Amy watched in awe, "How did you do that?"
"Bawling babies were not uncommon at East Texan church picnics" Sheldon explained, "My petition to have them banned was not passed" he frowned.
Amy watched the scene with dazed eyes. The vision of her tall, lanky boyfriend cradling such a delicate, fragile being in his large, soft hands made her heart melt. He was still swaying gently, now looking down into the eyes of the baby. She joined him and wrapped an arm around his back, gently resting her cheek on his bicep.
They both watched as Michaels's eyes slowly drooped.
"I think he's falling asleep" Sheldon whispered.
Suddenly, Sheldon's expression changed from blissful to confused.
He shifted his position and held the baby further away from his body. Amy stepped back, wondering what the matter was.
"He's warm and wet" Sheldon explained, a disgusted look on his face.
He held Michael at arm's length and tried to hand him to Amy, "Here"
"What? Why do I have to do it?" Amy asked.
"Because I've never done it before"
"Well neither have I! Here, let's do it together" She opened one of the bag that Howard had given them and took out a rolled up mat.
Amy bent down to the floor, unrolled the mat and lined up the diapers and wipes, creating a baby-changing station.
"Here, put him down" she motioned to the mat.
Sheldon carefully lowered himself onto one knee and placed Michael down gently. Amy began to unbutton his clothes, before unwrapping his diaper.
Sheldon immediately looked away and breathed out slowly, "I cannot guarantee that I will be conscious to help you"
His fear of germs, stickiness and, consequently, babies was catching up to him. The room was beginning to blur and he felt like he was going to vomit.
"Relax Sheldon" Amy's voice was soothing, "I'll do all the dirty work, you can be my assistant" she smiled.
Sheldon nodded, "Okay"
He gulped and followed every one of Amy's instructions. He even managed to summon enough courage to take the dirty diaper out to the trash.
"Well, I would have to say that that was a great success" Sheldon took Michael from the floor and held him above his head, "Say thank you to Aunt Amy" Sheldon smiled cheekily.
The baby chuckled in response.
"Amy! Did you see that? I made him laugh!"
Amy had been rummaging through the bags and pulled out lots of toys and stuffed animals.
"These look fun! Shall we play?"
Sheldon handed her Michael and left them on the floor to have fun whilst he went to make himself and Amy a cup of tea.
Whilst having their drinks, Michael sat in the crook of Amy's arm and watched one of the DVDs Bernadette had sent with him.
However, instead of watching the screen, Sheldon had his eyes on Amy. She seemed so natural with the baby and they looked so cute bundled up together in the armchair.
Sheldon turned back to watch the tedious colours and shapes jump across the screen. Today had been a lot more fun and successful than he thought. Babies were not so scary.
Just as the programme ended, there was a knock on the door. Sheldon stood to switch off the television and answer it.
Howard and Bernadette were back from their night out.
"How is he?" Bernadette asked, stepping into the apartment.
"Tired" Sheldon responded bluntly.
Stepping back to let them see, Sheldon motioned towards Amy.
She was sat in the armchair with baby Michael still nestled under her arm.
Both were fast asleep.