WAIT
"Does anyone have an objection to beginning the meeting?" Dumbledore looked around the small room. "No? Well, then -"
"Wait!" A woman stumbled through the doorway, a hand up in the air to stop him. "I'm here!"
"About time, too, Nymphadora," Remus said. Sirius, seated beside him, gave him a Look – which Remus ignored. "Sit down."
The woman grinned, her hair changing from red-brown to bubblegum pink. "Wotcher." She seated herself on Remus's other side. "Again, call me Tonks, everyone – please."
"I don't see how you can get her to be so polite," Sirius said offhandedly. Remus just shrugged, a tiny smile on his face.
I watched the morning dawn upon your skin
A splinter in the light
It caught and frayed the very heart of us
It's been hiding there inside for all this time
How a sure thing winds up just like this
Clockwork silence only knows
"No…Sirius…" Remus might've fallen to his knees if he hadn't been trembling in his seat, exhausted and bloodied from battle. "Damnit!"
"I know what you're feeling right now -" she started, but he looked up at her with a torn expression.
"He was my best friend next to James – and Peter -" he choked. "Damnit – damnit -"
"He was the best family I ever had, past my mum and dad."
Was.
"But it's just like with James, isn't it? I'm all alone, and -"
Tonks silenced him, pressing her lips briefly against his. "You're never alone, don't you know?"
"Wait -" Remus said. His shaking had stilled. "This isn't right. Just – wait."
"Sirius would've wanted us to – he said so on more than one occasion."
"This isn't the time!" Remus cried. "My best friend is gone – damnit! Just wait!"
And it's no one's fault
There's no black or white
Only you and me on this endless night
And as the hours run away with another life
Oh, darling can't you see
It's now or never, it's now or never
"Who will it hurt? No one. And keeping apart will only hurt you…and me…" Tonks's normally bright appearance was subdued – her hair just brown, her eyes the same.
"It won't do anyone good, either," Remus said stubbornly. "Look at Lily and James -"
"We are not Lily and James," she insisted for the third time. "They were a special case."
"Dora," he said tiredly. "I'm too old, too dangerous -"
"I don't care!" Tonks seized the front of his shirt. "When will you learn? I don't care that we were born ten years apart, I don't care that you're a werewolf – I don't even care that you're stupid enough to think I would. All I want is you."
"You deserve better."
"Well, you ought not think that," she said after a brief pause. "I could say the same. I'm too clumsy; I'm too thick-headed – I don't even know what I really look like because I keep changing -"
"Just wait until the war is over," Remus said. "At least then."
"That could be years from now."
"It won't be. Just wait."
Sweeping eggshells still at 3 am
We're trying far too hard
The tattered thought balloons above our heads
Sinking in the weight of all we need to say
Whys and what ifs since long played out
Left us short on happy endings
"If everything had gone alright in this world, I'd have three groomsmen right now," he said quietly.
"If everything had gone alright in this world, you wouldn't have me," she said, intertwining their fingers. "You'd probably be living it up somewhere with James and Sirius and Peter…"
"I would." He smiled. "Are you ready?"
"As ready as I'll ever be," Tonks said bluntly. "Let's go." And they stepped forward, and they were married quietly on a hazy August day.
And it's no one's fault
There's no black or white
Only you and me on this endless night
And as the hours run away with another life
Oh, darling can't you see
It's now or never, it's now or never
"Good news." Tonks smiled up at her husband. They were back in the Burrow, where most of the Order was taking shelter.
"Can it wait?" Remus said offhandedly, still poring over a map. "I promised Molly -"
"No, it can't wait," she said, grinning widely. "I'm pregnant!"
"…oh." He looked up from the desk. "Really?"
"Yes, really."
"I'm going to be a father!" Tonks watched as all the emotions she'd felt herself flickered across his face: wonder, excitement, explosive joy – and then worry.
How were they to bring a child into this world?
Now or never, now or never
You know that there's so much more
"He'll be beautiful, he really will," Remus said proudly, laying a hand on his wife's stomach. "If only James or Sirius were here. I wonder what they would say."
"Probably something silly," Tonks said. "Though I wouldn't know. I hardly knew any of you when – you know -"
"Yes, well…" Remus looked away. "You would have loved James if you knew him better. You were only eleven, but still…"
"Yes," she said. "I know."
It was these more tender moments that made Remus love Tonks even more. Yet he knew, very clearly, what he had to do and wouldn't stray from any duty.
He was unsure, of course. But this is what his friend would've wanted, had they been there.
"Dora, there's something I have to tell you…"
"What?"
"I…I'm going to look for Harry."
"You what?" Tonks glared, her hands suddenly on her hips in a very "Mrs. Weasley" pose.
"I'm – er – looking for Harry," he said lamely.
"Is that what the map was for?" she demanded.
"Yes," he admitted, looking at the ground. "I was going to tell you earlier, but I wasn't sure -"
Her expression softened as he continued to mutter. "Alright," she interrupted. "I won't stop you."
"You won't?"
"I guess you think that's what Sirius would've wanted," Tonks said softly, "and though I may not agree, I understand."
"James and Sirius – gave their lives for Harry," Remus said softly, as if she was denying him. "They sacrificed themselves for the war – my best friend, Dora, I loved them -"
"I understand," she repeated. "I'll go to my mum's. We've overstayed our welcome at the Burrow, anyhow, I think -"
"Meaning you don't want Molly fawning over you -"
"I'll be fine. And the baby will be, too. Just wait and see."
And it's no one's fault
There's no black or white
Just you and me on our final night
And as the hours run away with another life
"Remus!" she shouted, her feet slapping against the stone floor of Hogwarts. "Wait up!"
"Dora -" he spun around. "Why are you here? Where's Teddy?"
"Teddy's fine, he's with my mum – I'm here for the same reason you are."
His brows went way up on his forehead. "To fight? Dora, Harry was right. We can't just leave our son like Lily and James did -"
"Which is exactly what you're doing!" she told him. "You told me once that James and Lily did a damn good thing protecting Harry. This is for Teddy, Remus. What if I didn't go, and years later he asked if I'd fought? Would I say no?"
"What if no one's there to answer?" he challenged.
"Either way he'll have nothing," Tonks said softly. "Remus, I need to be with you -" A shot of red light sped past them, and instinctively they both ducked, though no more curses followed.
"They're in," Remus said. "Dora, get out of here," he added as more curses were sent their way. "Protego!"
"No way!" she gasped, dodging a curse as a tall, masked Death Eater spun toward her. Suddenly the whole place was filled with people dueling. Yells and shouts echoed down the corridor as Remus and Tonks sped for the Great Hall.
"Protego – protego!" Tonks cried.
"Stupefy!"
"Remus, watch out!" she screamed as they came upon the Great Hall. A green jet of light whizzed past his head as he ducked lightly.
The whole room was in chaos: suits of armor, come to life, battled past Death Eaters. The clang of shields and swords coupled with explosion, yells, and crashes as spells flew around the Hall.
"Tonks!" the face of George Weasley was shocking white in the crowd. "Thank goodness you're here, we -"
"Look out!" she cried. George ducked and the curse meant for him instead hit her square in the chest.
There was a short moment where her eyes clouded over and she thought, Well, this isn't so bad.
Remus, turning, saw his wife fall and, startled, did not see a Death Eater aim his wand and mutter, "Avada Kedavra."
Oh, darling can't you see
It's now or never, it's now or never
There were two empty seats at the next meeting of the Order of the Phoenix, but not one person pointed this out. They could wait, but no one would come.