grieve in different ways

Characters: Leo, Natsu, mentioned: Aries and Lisanna

Summary: Partners in misery.

Lisanna was gone, dead and gone.

This was nearly impossible to bear for the dragon slayer who had never felt more alienated. He silently watched how Mira traded her revealing outfits for dresses, how Elfman fell into his depression. He watched how Erza and Laxus started to take more and more long-time jobs, trying to escape the general depression that had fallen like a cloak over the guild. Even Gray was suddenly tolerable, the bastard had fallen into the same silence as Cana who had clung to his arm at the funeral while Loke had had his arm wrapped around her. The trio had never been closer and this was strange because Cana had openly criticised the ring mage many times before and he had always assumed that the card mage was only tolerating him because he was Gray's friend and she was very close to the ice mage. But Loke was also acting strange – he had not had a new girlfriend for weeks and he often stared off into the distance.

"…he's sad too," was Cana's only comment when he inquired on the ring mage's constitution.

"…leave him alone," Gray added, dark eyes shining with sympathy.

But when did the dragon slayer ever listen to someone? He approached the ring mage as the other man was drinking silently in the bar, gaze firmly directed at the glass in front of him.

"Oi, Loke, what's up with you? I didn't know that you and … she were that close…"

"I hardly knew Lisanna," the man replied, eyes still attacked to the glass. "It just reminds me of someone I lost about a year ago, my best friend in the entire universe."

"What was his name?" he asked, wondering about Loke's story because he did not know it yet.

"Her name was Aries," the man with the sunglasses said with a mirthless smile.

"Like the zodiac constellation?" the dragon slayer wondered with a frown on his forehead.

"Yeah, just like the zodiac constellation," Loke said with a small chuckle and for a moment, it felt for Natsu like he had just missed the greatest joke in the universe. "I haven't seen her in more than a year … we … we were separated through unfortunate circumstances and I don't think that I will ever see her again. That's why I can relate to you."

"But … as long as she isn't dead, you can find her! Grab Cana and Gray and go to look for her."

"She is at a place where I am not welcome anymore," Loke said with a shrug. "I'd go and look for her but that'd be my death so I rather think of her and remember that she wouldn't want me to get in trouble because of her."

"She sounds nice."

"Yes, she is pretty nice," Loke said, downing his drink. "I always said that she's too nice and too good for this world – makes it too damn easy for lesser people than me to take advantage of her – I have been protecting her for as long as I've known her … she is a kind girl."

Natsu looked at him in silence, wondering why Loke was suddenly so open and why he shared his inner thoughts like they did not matter at all, and so he spotted the empty wine bottles by the ring mage's feet. He had drunken around the same amount of alcohol Cana consumed on a good day – and this was more than enough to loosen anyone's tongue. He sighed. "C'mon, Loke," he said as he grabbed the man's shoulder. "It's time for you to go home before you tell the entire world your secrets."

The ring mage staggered as he got up from his chair and for a moment, Natsu wondered whether this had been a smart idea after all but then, he dragged his nakama out of the guild and down the street. "Seriously, though," he started. "What would Aries say if she could see you, drinking and flirting all the time? Wouldn't she be disappointed?"

Loke's eyes betrayed his shame for a moment. "Her brother Sagittarius will take care of her," he muttered as he swayed but miraculously managed to stay on his feet.

"Sagittarius? Another zodiac? They got strange parents," Natsu sighed as he mused why Gray could not take better care of his friends – then again, Cana had been injured on her last job and someone had to take care of her while she could not walk and this someone was Gray so this was forgiven – but Natsu promised himself that he would give the ice mage hell if that bastard would dump the assignment of babysitting Cana when she got drunk on him as well.

"Yeah, they are strange people," Loke said, his voice strangely slurred.

"But still, what would she tell you?" Natsu sighed as he prayed that Loke would remember where he lived – given the state of intoxication, this would be a surprise.

"She'd tell me that I should take better care of myself – she's a kind one, didn't I mention this? She wouldn't slam her urn onto my head or something…" the rest of his musings were lost in his slurring – and snoring.

The dragon slayer sighed deeply as he changed directions, heading for his own house. He got a couch where Loke would sleep off his intoxication and afterwards, no one would lose another word about this. They were partners in misery after all and Natsu would never ever give away his nakama's secrets.