A/n: Just a short story dedicated to Jason. We were talking about Vincent and how he needs to buy a phone during the film and I ended up with this. Please Review. My reviewers get unconditional love whether it's a good review or not XD
Vincent versus Motorola
"Where can I buy a phone?"
Eyes shrouded in the mysterious of an unknown past, gazed around the lost Shin Ra experiment. Face hidden from prying eyes, by the roof on his collar he un-nerved many a passer-by as he stalked into the … phone shop?
The shop was simple enough, a standard sized room filled with mobiles and adaptors and all sorts of appliances that Vincent had never seen before, nor cared for. It had been a moment of whimsy, an unplanned venture into a shopping centre to avoid a hyperactive ninja who had already threatened to buy him a new mobile if he didn't have one by the end of the week.
Panicking at the prospects Vincent promised her he would. If she bought him one, she would no doubt find out his number, and that was something he could not, in his right mind, allow.
As he took the first, awkward stumble into the shop he saw a disturbingly happy girl standing behind the counter. Unsure as to why, he stepped towards her; she turned her attention to him, smiling disconcertingly at him.
"Where can I buy a phone?" he asked the ludicrously happy young girl. He guessed it might be because he was her first customer. It was spoken in monotone, his blood red eyes piercing into her with disguised curiosity from behind the tall collar of his cape.
"You've come to the right place," she squealed in a high pitched squeak of a voice. As stoic as he was, even Vincent closed his eyes slightly in pain, not expecting that reaction from the small blonde. He was scarily reminded of Yuffie and a horrid jolt of worry struck his stomach. Perhaps she would end up getting his mobile number in the end. In fact, had he not been terrified of the real wutain nightmare he would have made a u-turn and high tailed it out of the shop faster than Sephiroth at an animal rights protest.
"We have the top of the range models," she giggled. Vincent raised an eyebrow at her but she either failed to notice or ignored it.
"I'm sure a guy of your calibre would be interested in a video-phone, mp3 combo, right?"
Vincent said nothing but pulled his cape over, obstructing the view of Cerberus.
"What about a games console, i-phone combo thing?"
Vincent shook his head firmly; his deathly black hair sent sprawling at his mercy.
"No. I just want a phone."
"Okay, well this one is wap enabled, had Bluetooth and-"
Vincent was growing impatient, a clicking golden heel portrayed this.
"A phone. A handheld, portable phone. Nothing more," he interrupted. The sooner he was out of there, the better and he was seconds from leaving without a phone.
"Well, that's BO-RING!" the girl pouted "Anyway, we don't stock boring phones!"
"Then order one," came the slow, deep reply, his voice with an edge of annoyance beginning to show at the edges.
"I can't! We don't restock till next month and I don't even think they sell plain things…what about a pink phone?"
"Then I'll come back next month," Vincent said simply turning to leave. The girl pawed at his non-clawed arm.
"No no no no no! Sir! If you're willing to compromise, we can get you-"
"You aren't related to any Kisaragis are you?"
"Sir?"
"Never mind. Excuse me."
"VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNCCEEEEEENNTTT!!"
Oh no…
"VINNY-CHAN!!"
Please Shiva NO!
"What are YOU doing here?"
She'd found him.
"Hello Yuffie." Vincent replied staring at his feet.
"ARE YOU BUYING A PHONE WITHOUT ME!!" Yuffie squealed attracting a fair amount of attention.
"No, I was just leaving."
"I'LL HELP! Miss, can you bring us the best most wonderful phone in the shop." She emphasised her point by pirouetting on the spot, shopping bags flailing around dangerously.
The girl realised that hazards of having Yuffie in her shop and quickly complied, going back stock to find it.
"I never thought I'd find you here," Yuffie said casually, "what made you come to a shopping centre?"
"I was going to buy a phone." He stated. There was a few seconds silence.
"Well?" Yuffie pined, "Aren't you going to ask me why I'm here?"
"No."
"Awwww! Vinny! Please!"
"Why are you here Yuffie?" he asked folding, a headache now laying waste to his cranium.
"I'mm……SHOPPING!" she announced jumping up and down and whacked Vincent's hip with one of her precious carrier bags. He barely flinched, used to the hyperactive girls antics. Yuffie didn't even notice.
"And, guess what, I have a new shuriken!"
Vincent gazed at his side and felt eternally grateful the weapon wasn't in the offending bag.
"Here you are miss,"
The assistant had returned with the phone. Vincent peered intently at the shiny black plastic. Yuffie looked as though she would explode.
"Kyaa! I have one just like it! Vincent, you have to get it, we'll be like twins."
The two girls laughed.
"It's one of our best, clearly you have taste miss."
Yuffie giggled.
"Well, I like to think so-uh…Vincent? Hey…did you see where he went?"
Outside the shopping centre and halfway down the street running like a man possessed, was Vincent. His hair and cape billowed out menacingly behind him.
"I'll buy one elsewhere," he muttered with a pained expression on his face.