Never Let Me Go

Elena was still crippled. It had been weeks since the return of her emotions, since she had taken the cure, when no matter how hard she tried to suppress them, keep them out, they had flooded back in. Of course, she was on the rebound, beginning to be able to go a few hours without breaking down, without someone having to save her from some half-hearted suicide attempt, but she remained broken and hysterical.

It was easy to understand, considering she had lost her brother, burned his body and her childhood home along with all her possessions, killed multiple people, hurt her friends, fed on more people than she cared to think about, and committed almost every awful deed in the book. Reliving those moments made her queasy. It was almost like looking at her life from outside her body, for it couldn't have been her, Elena, doing all those horrible things, right? Impossible. Yet it was true, and this crushed her inside.

Truthfully, she was ready to die. It was only the brothers keeping her here, alive. Stefan and Damon were relentless in this pursuit, one of them by her side at all times just in case she decided to slip away to jump off Wickory Bridge or aim a knife at her own heart. She felt lost and alone through all of this, despite her friends immediately returning to her side, even after her horrific treatment of them during her no-humanity stage. In fact, Elena was constantly surrounded by people trying to comfort her, and It was driving her crazy. She knew they meant well, but she really needed some alone time to process the events of the last few months.

She had tried writing in her new diary, releasing some of the overwhelming emotions she had kept bottled up inside, but putting her feelings down on paper only made them more real and painful, so she quit writing altogether. It wasn't the same anyway, for every time she laid eyes on the leather-bound journal, all she could think of was the one she had lost in the fire, years and years of memories gone forever. Catalogued in those pages had been sweet anecdotes about her and Matt, her first innocent kisses with Stefan and her heated night of passion with Damon. She had chronicled so much of her life, and now it was gone, every little sentence about Jeremy, passages from her time before vampires, and all of the craziness that had been the past two years. Therefore, a new diary wasn't a consolation. It was not the book itself, but the words inside she had wanted, but all of that was gone for good.

Sadly, the onset of Elena's humanity had been quite abrupt. With Stefan the change had been gradual, until he finally came to accept that he felt again, whereas Elena's emotions had recurred all at once, barging into her mind and taking control until she felt as if her head would explode. Despite Bonnie and Caroline's attempts to solace her, Elena had quickly become withdrawn and antisocial, depressed and frantic.

She really was recovering, though. She was able to laugh the other day and actually have a good time with her friends. She wanted to move on with her life, and was even starting to feel the familiar pulls of love… though there was still the problem of choosing. With Elena human again, the sire bond was broken and her love for Stefan had returned. She realized things could never be the same, could never be as they were before, not after everything that had happened. After Stefan had left with Klaus, things had never really returned to normal, and then Elena had become a vampire and things spiraled even more out of control. The innocent love they had shared could never again be.

The problem was that she still loved Damon too. As a human she had tried so hard to deny it and hide it, but finally, after all this time, she had succumbed and now there was no going back. The feelings that caused the sire bond were completely real, and had only intensified over the course of her vampirism. Elena was thoroughly confused, and felt such guilt wash over her when she would happen upon Stefan's adoring gaze or Damon's hopeful glances, searching for any hint of love, that she would look away quickly before seeing their faces fall. She knew that she should let one of them go, that they were not both needed anymore and that it was unfair to lead them along like this, but she was selfish and couldn't bear to lose anyone else so soon. So she kept the both of them, Stefan and Damon, dreading the day when she would eventually have to bid adieu to one of her true loves.

….

Stefan was tired. So very tired. Elena was finally back to…normal… if that was what was called normal these days. She was obviously still pained, but at least she was human again. That was all that he had set out to accomplish, and that is what he had done. Now it was time for him to leave.

So why couldn't he?

Something was holding him here, like a magnetic force. Love, he supposed. Mystic Falls had been his life for the past couple of years, had been his world. Leaving it, what would he do? What would be his purpose? He felt empty just thinking about it. Everyone he cared about was right here in this little town in Virginia, where all his friends resided. Leaving would be that defining moment, that moment when he could never turn back, never change his mind and throw himself at Elena's feet and beg her to take him once again.

He had, of course, noticed the longing glances she had been throwing him, but he refused to let it sway him. Alas, it wasn't working well considering he couldn't bring himself to leave now. Stefan could not let history continue to repeat itself, though, and he could tell that Damon wasn't willing to leave. He should move on with his life… but just couldn't.

Who was he kidding? He loved Elena and couldn't bear the thought of leaving her for good. And Damon, they were siblings. No matter how much he hated to admit it, Stefan had grown accustomed to his big brother and heck, maybe he even loved him too. Yes, the magnetic attraction must be love. He would have to break it somehow and depart, for he simply refused to ruin the rest of Elena's life as he had already ruined these few years. It was decided: Stefan had to go.

….

Damon wanted. Wanted Elena. He knew it was selfish, but he loved her and wanted her to return the affections. Every day he would stare at her with yearning, silently pleading for her to turn around and confess her undying love, give him a tender kiss, or just do something to show that she still felt for him. All to no avail, of course.

Another concerning matter had arisen, too, with Stefan's proclamations that he was soon to leave.

Damon didn't have the stamina to deal with this problem right now, for the thought of life without his

brother was strangely heart-wrenching and filled him with immeasurable dread. Part of him felt he

would surrender Elena if Stefan would only stay. They were best friends and in all honesty, Damon loved

his little brother and never wanted to be parted again. They were family, after all, and the bonds of

blood ran deep, though he hadn't expected to feel this strongly on the topic. In fact, this was the day he

had been waiting for his entire life: when Stefan would finally give up on Elena and leave her and Damon

alone. Now that it had arrived, though, Damon was on the verge of begging, on hands and knees, mind

you, for Stefan to stay.

Why he was feeling this way was unclear to Damon, and he pondered it with increasing frequency. Stefan's impending departure was drawing closer and frenzy was about to ensue on Damon's part, leaving him utterly confused. How long had he been trying to get rid of Stefan and now he was ready to give up Elena just to make him stay? It all felt rather unnatural…

….

"Stefan…" Elena began hesitantly, biting her lips. "I don't want you to go."

"I'm sorry, Elena, but I've done my job. You're human again and I trust Damon from here on out." How painful it was to say those two names with bags in hand, ready to walk out the door for good. He had come to say goodbye to Elena but could not face Damon. For his brother Stefan had written a note of farewell, thanking him and asking to possibly meet up in a few decades, maybe after Elena's death? Stefan was on the verge of tears thinking about that, the death of Elena, and had to muffle his sniffles with coughs, the thought of not seeing Damon for decades also choking him up. God, why did life have to be so cruel?

"But Stefan I… I can't… I don't know if I can live without you. I can't lose you, not again." Elena said, on the verge of tears herself.

"I know you feel that way, but you'll move on eventually." Stefan faltered, wanting so to comfort her.

"No, I don't think I will." She sighed, hanging her head in sadness. "Stefan, I… I love you."

At that Stefan inhaled a large breath. This was exactly what he had not dared to hope for, had banished from his mind altogether.

"I love you too Elena, you know that. I always will." Stefan confessed, seeming reluctant to take the final step out the door.

A tear began to trickle down her cheek as he turned away slowly, trying as hard as possible to memorize her face. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder.

The emotions were too much, too overpowering. She had to do it. She reached out and grabbed Stefan's shoulder, spinning him around to face her. He seemed surprised, his mouth a perfect "o" as she devoured his lips, crushing their bodies together feverishly, grasping his hips and dragging him in.

Oh God, this was bliss. She now remembered what it was like to kiss Stefan, sticking her tongue into his mouth, warring with his own tongue. The old spark was there and she reveled in it, licking his lips and doing everything in her power to persuade him to stay. She really did love him.

Stefan was taken aback by the kiss and just stood there, shocked, as she thrust her tongue into his mouth. But Elena's kisses had always been intoxicating and it wasn't long before he joined, pressing his body ever closer to hers. He remembered what it was like to peel off her clothes, make love to her, and he craved it again. It had been so long, and he lost himself in the passionate caresses, rubbing his hands up and down her sides. Pushing closed the door he backed her up against a wall and ripped off her t-shirt, revealing perfectly olive skin underneath. She was undeniably beautiful and he worshipped her with his lips, pressing them all over her mostly exposed body.

Twining her hands in his hair she lost herself in the sensations, wrapping her legs around his middle. They had always had such an attraction, but this was different than with Damon. Stefan was more gentle, restrained, and slow. By this point Damon would already be roughly thrusting into her, groaning into her awaiting lips. Both methods seemed equally effective and pleasurable to her so she enjoyed Stefan's slow, burning kisses on her cool skin. She moaned subconsciously, rubbing her leg up Stefan's thigh.

The moan was what brought him back. That damned moan! He was soon back to his senses and pushed Elena away as if she was a drug, backing into the closed door and opening it hastily.

"I'm sorry, Elena. I love you, but I have to go."

….

"What the hell is this?" Damon growled, slamming the letter down in front of Stefan's face.

"Damon, I told you I was going to leave." Stefan said, exasperated. Just brilliant. He had left his phone at the boardinghouse and, forgetting his hold up with Elena, figured he would have enough time to retrieve it before Damon returned. No such luck.

"Yeah, and you thought you'd leave me this shitty excuse for a goodbye? 'Hope we'll meet again in a few decades'? What the fuck is that about?" Damon was angry. Infuriated, perhaps.

"I knew you'd react like this, that's why." Stefan sighed, trying to seem nonchalant, like he hadn't just made out with his ex-girlfriend and like he wasn't extremely upset by the prospect of leaving Damon behind for an indefinite amount of time.

"Well, what'd you expect? I implore you to rethink this, brother!" Damon pleaded, a hint of panic behind his eyes.

"Damon, I… I have to leave. You know that."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do. It's for the best anyway."

"For who? You, Elena, or me? 'Cause I'm pretty sure Elena would be heartbroken and…well…you know how I feel." Damon trailed off.

"You and Elena, brother. It would benefit you both."

"Yeah right!" Damon sneered, advancing upon Stefan. "Elena needs you right now…I need you right now. Hell, I always need you!" Stefan was now backed up against a wall and Damon was directly in front of him looking rather enraged.

"Stay Stefan." Damon whispered in his ear, now pressed right up against him. "You'll know what it's like to be brothers again."

"What about Elena?" Stefan asked, sure that this question would deter Damon. He was wrong.

"Let's just forget about her for now. It's always been you and me, brothers through eternity. I want to keep it that way." Damon was now cupping Stefan's cheek, stroking it and gazing deep into his eyes. Stefan was entranced, held in thrall by the bright blue orbs glistening in front of him, feeling electricity as the slender fingers grazed his skin.

Damon began to lean in, their lips almost touching, until he pulled back abruptly, thoroughly confused by that intimate display of affection, so unlike him. Clearing his throat he backed away.

"Just think on it Stefan. Don't leave. But if you do, make sure to tell me first." At that, Damon walked briskly out of the room.

What the hell had that been? Had he seriously been stroking his brother's cheek? Jeez, I really have gone soft Damon thought, hurrying away from the room. Was I really about to kiss him? No….at least, I don't think so…Damon speculated. Shaking his head, he went to the only place he could go to help with Stefan: Elena's house.

To Be Continued…