Disclaimer: Gakuen Alice does not belong to me.
Summary: After a horrible clash with the remaining lackeys of the Z organisation, Mikan lost her sanity due to a fatal blow, thereafter growing distant with everyone else, except for one.
-
-
-
Lingering Abyss
Chapter 1: The Sleeping Angel
-
-
-
The lights were dim, except for the lamp on the bedside table, casting a subtle orange glow on its surroundings, namely the girl lying on the bed, covered by pristine white sheets and eyes closed in a dreamless sleep.
Her hair of auburn and copper spread around her like a fan, framing her delicate cheekbones. The orange glow on her face disguised the sickly green that has invaded, as evident on her hands that were left out of the white blanket. Light purple veins could be seen on her small hands, which stayed as still as they could possibly be, as though their owner did not have the intention to move them at all.
The girl lying on the bed with the pristine white sheets looked as though she had been devoid of life, as though she had taken her last breath and made an escape to the afterlife. The only sign showing that she was in fact, still alive and breathing, was the steady clouding of her oxygen mask, excruciatingly slow to the people watching around her, but deep inside they all knew that it was the best the girl could do presently.
The night was dark and the moon was hiding somewhere behind the thick fog. It was winter time and visitors to the girl had fallen from before, from the start when she was just admitted into this hospital room. Still, there was a steady group of people who kept coming back to visit her, even though they knew she could not possibly know that they were there, just for her.
They had tried, over and over again, to wake her up from her deep sleep, to call her out from the dark place where she was residing, to the world full of brightness where she had loved the most, yet it was all in vain. She never stirred, not even once, not even slightly.
She had declared once before, "This world is full of brightness and happiness, and so I belong to it! I'll be sad if I'm ever going to leave it one day!"
No one at that time knew that as soon as those words got out of her mouth, Fate would have her cruelly taken away from this world, away from the sparkling vitality of life, away from constant smiles and laughter, into this lifeless doll of a girl, her very last wisp of breath desperately trying to hold on to this empty shell.
The doctor had given his final dignosis of her condition after much deliberation. The consequences were grim, he had said. No one who had gotten hit by that Dangerous type Alice could ever have survived, logically speaking. Yet unbelievably she still retained a weak breath of life in her, however small and fragile it might be, much to the surprise of the people around.
People had raised their hopes in anticipation of her finally opening those hazel eyes of hers, getting out from her unconsciousness and greeting them with much enthusiasm, just like before in the good old times before the war had began. Yet they had their hopes let down as days passed. Even as four seasons passed, she still remained there, motionless.
The war had been destructive, much of Gakuen Alice had been destroyed due to the raging infernal that had sprung up on that unforgettable day. Students had panicked once they heard the rumour of an attack by the invaders and the entire school was in an uproar in an instant. It took the efforts of a group of students to have the situation under control, to calm the student population down and to put out the fire. It took them long and at times some of them were about to give up, but the thought of leaving the school by itself, of leaving the helpless to fend for themselves, brought them quickly back up again.
The war was won in the end, even when the students who fought against the invaders were sorely outnumbered against them. It was only by a sheer stroke of luck that most of them had gotten away relatively unscathed, almost all of them, all except one girl.
She was all of 15 years old, about to enter a new phase of life with the person whom she had decided to be the most important one out of the many best friends that she had. She had been slow in realising his love for her due to his careful hiding of it from her, for fear of implicating her with the many burdens he had with him. But eventually she had grown to accept him, past the boundary of innocent love and friendship, to that of a different nature, that of romantic love.
They had been the subject of much gossip in school, for it was not every day that you see the school's most notorious persons get together as a couple. They were well-known around, he for his Dangerous type Alice, the Fire, she for her controversial and unique Alices, the Nullification and the Steal. Both of them seemed to be utterly mismatched, he with his cold and intimidating exterior, she with her perpetual cheeriness and wide innocent smiles that could reach the hearts of even the coldest person. Yet strangely enough, they had fit together like two well-made pieces of puzzle that formed a picture of bliss. Blissful, they had been. Yet, despite the promises of a better tomorrow, despite the seemingly bright future for the both of them, Fate had decided to play a cruel trick.
Fate had brought the invasion in Gakuen Alice, Fate had brought war and destruction, Fate had brought fear to the students and Fate had also torn them apart. While the school had been quickly rebuilt into its previous glory and sophistication and while the students who were hurt had mostly recovered of their superficial injuries, and while normal school life was regained, there remained one unfortunate one out of them all.
Strangely enough, Fate knew who to deliever that fatal blow on, should Fate had been a person, she would most likely be smiling with undisguised glee, for her decision to injure that person on the inside had been right indeed, should she want the entire school and particularly the people closest to her to feel deep waves of misery and guilt. Misery, for she had possessed the brightest smile no one could compare to, not even the sun in its majesty, yet the shine had gone out of her as fast as the time it took for her to fall to the ground on that burning night. Guilt, for she had been one of the students entrusted with the task of hunting down the invaders and for helping the other students out of their induced abnormal states of mind caused by the invaders, the responsibility upon her had been heavy and grave, yet she took it on with much grace and enthusiasm, vowing to restore the school to its usual peace and promising to help her fellow schoolmates return to a normal school day. No one had been able to help share her responsibility, even the ones closest to her could not come close to the understanding of the burden of having two such Alices which caused the Elementary School Division Principal to have his eyes upon. They had been great friends to her while she was still laughing merrily but now they could not stop blaming themselves for the things they could have done to have helped her lighten her burden, to have helped prevented this tragedy from falling upon her.
-
The door creaked open, its sound on the hinges threatening to wake the sleeping girl up. Soft footsteps echoed in the room as the visitor walked towards the bed, where the girl continued sleeping, oblivious to the new arrival to the otherwise lonely room.
The visitor's steps grew even softer as he got nearer, as though he was afraid of disturbing the peaceful sleep the girl was having, as though should he get that bit louder, she would have been frightened and would then slip further away into oblivion.
He pulled out the chair next to the bed and sat on it silently, his blazing red orbs focusing on the face of the girl. Pale porcelain complexion, devoid of life and warmth, eyes closed as though they had always been that way, with long pale eyelashes brushed upon her skin. This was the girl whom he had been coming to meet each night, every night without fail. It was during the night when her other visitors would be absent, though the number of visitors had fallen recently. It was during the night when he could be with her alone, just the two of them in a lonely room, all by themselves with no other disturbances.
He craved none of this companionship with others. Campanionship without the most important person to him out of the people in this entire world would be meaningless. No one would be able to replace the sleeping girl in his heart. It seemed as though his heart had been carved permanently to have a place specially reserved for her, which no other person can even come close to replacing.
He placed his hand gently across the cheek of the girl, willing it to grow warm, willing her usual rosy colour to come back to life, willing everything to be alright.
Without a word you left,
He let his hand slowly caress the porcelain texture of her face, his hand beginning to tremble slightly as he tried to memorise her features by touch, every single one of them.
Even though we had promised each other before.
Drops of tears came dripping down from his face and he let them fall, his other hand not raising to wipe them away.
You left a void in me,
His tears came dripping onto the bedsheets, forming a wet spot that's growing larger as each second ticks by, yet there seemed to be no sign of stopping.
One which could not be filled no matter how hard I tried.
His body began to tremble slightly, his head bowed low and his hands clenched tightly upon the pale, small hand of the girl.
When could I see your spark come back to life again?
He held the girl's lifeless hand close to his face and let it come into contact with his flow of tears, as though he wanted her to sense his grief, his silent scream inside that is begging for her to respond, even a little.
Couldn't you wake up for just a second?
He brought his lips to her hand and kissed the surface softly, the touch gentle, loving.
I miss your laughter so much,
He leaned forward and brushed her fringe softly, feeling its silky texture, his eyes of a deep wine red gazing at her.
Your cheer, your smile and most of all, your love.
His eyes conveyed sorrow, lonliness and desperation.
So, wouldn't you wake up already,
Once again, he let his tears stream down his face, silent yet unwaveringly steady, as though his sorrow knows no limit.
If not, just for me?
"Mikan, it's me, Natsume. I'm here again, by your side. So...please, wake up..."
-
-
-
Author's Note: So how is it? This is my first attempt at a Gakuen Alice fic and I wanted to make a really sorrowful one. I'm gonna take the direction of the hurt and comfort theme, though of course there would still be romance, just that I want to focus more on Mikan relying on Natsume, as well as the other way round. Please tell me your thoughts after reading this., whether you liked or hated it, and whether I should continue this. Reviews will be very much appreciated!