Summary: Lavender Brown isn't stupid, she's just in love.
Author's Note: I'm all hyped up on HBP madness. Anyways, after watching the movie (which was amazing), I reread the book. Now I'm here. I've always felt bad for Lavender, even though she was completely annoying. I hope you enjoy!
***
When I told Parvarti that I think I had fallen hopelessly, completely in love with Ronald Weasley, she called me stupid. I've been called stupid plenty of times by plenty of people, but that was the first time Parvarti ever said such a thing to my face. I scrunched my eyes in confusion.
"You do realize he fancies Hermione, don't you?" she said, her eyes shining with warning over Witch Weekly.
I laughed, dismissing the comment. Of course he didn't fancy Hermione! They're best friends, nothing more. What best friends do you know that fancy one another?
"Parvarti, that's ridiculous!"I replied, shaking my head, smiling.
"Fine," Parvarti said, looking back to the magazine. "But don't cry to me when he breaks your heart."
I sobered my laughing and frowned sadly. It is completely ridiculous, I kept telling myself. They're just friends.
***
I'd watch him, smiling and laughing with Harry and Hermione. Sometimes he'd give her this look, a look of trust and friendship and something much more. I'd see his eyes peering over to her when she wasn't looking and just as quickly as it happened, he'd look down or at Harry or anywhere besides her.
She'd look at him, too. She looked at him like I looked at him.
Every time I saw them, looking at each other, my heart would break a little more.
***
"See! I can save goals without help, Hermione!" he yelled, his voice sad and hurt and angry, something I never heard on him before. It didn't settle well in my stomach.
They didn't know I was listening to them in the changing rooms, waiting to congratulate Ron on a great game. I followed Hermione there. I moved my ear from the door as soon as I realized that he was coming towards it.
He exits, his broom over his shoulder and his fist clenched. He looked like he wanted to hit something. He saw me and he looked a little shocked and stop walking, changing room door swinging behind him.
"Oh," he said simply. "Hello, Lavender." He continued to walk. He looked glum to see me. I decided that I should change that.
"Why so upset?" I asked, smiling sweetly at him, trying my best to flirt like the magazines told me. "You should be happy! You played amazingly, Ron. I couldn't take my eyes off you…" I trailed off, admiring him and how handsome he had become.
He smiled sadly, ruffling his hair. I fought the need to sigh. "It's nothing, really."
"Oh?" I asked, looking into his clear blue eyes. They were filled with sadness and regret. "We should go to the party in the common room together. It'll be fun." I smiled softly and took his hand. He looked at our hands joined, then at me and he smiled.
"Yeah, it will be fun."
We walked and when we got to the common room, tons of people dancing and drinking and having a good time, we sat on the couch. I still held his hand. It felt good to feel his callused hand in my small one. We talked about quidditch and school and then we stopped talking and I just looked at his face, counting his freckles.
"I like you, Ron," I said abruptly. Fear of being rejected sunk in, weighing down on my heart. He turned and looked at my face, his expression unreadable.
He smiled a little bit and said, "I like you too, Lav."
"No, I mean…" I swallowed and just thought, it's now or never, Lav. I kissed him, his lips pressed to mine. And to my great pleasure, he kissed back.
When we decided to go somewhere a little more private, people cat-called at us exiting the common room. Happiness filled my heart. See, Parvarti? I'm not stupid! He fancies me, not Hermione!
He'd smile to me while I would lean into kiss him on our way to a deserted classroom. He'd kiss back enthusiastically. We were having a good time and laughing and then we found a deserted classroom and then we saw Harry and Hermione.
Hermione looked emotionless, birds floating around her head. Harry looked unsure of what to do. Ron stopped dead in his tracks.
"Oh," Ron said.
"Oops!" I giggled, so completely high on happiness that I didn't notice the tension hanging high in the air, and I backed out of the classroom.
Hermione rushed out of the room, sobbing. She looked me in the eyes as she was walking out and I saw a shimmer of complete and utter loss of hope in a person. She was heartbroken.
Ron stormed out, cuts all over him. I asked what had happened and if he needed bandages. He said not to worry about it and dragged me to another deserted classroom.
When I kissed him then after, he didn't smile.
***
It felt so good when Ron would touch me, kiss me, hold me. He was my first boyfriend and I was happy and he seemed happy, too. He was mine and I was his. I didn't care that all could see us snogging, I was happy. I didn't care about how Hermione felt and how she would cry at night, alone in her bed. I didn't care about how people would laugh behind my back, calling me a slag. I was with Ron. That was all I needed. He was all I needed. We were meant to be together, forever.
***
The night of Slughorn's Christmas party, Ron and I were sitting in "our" chair, talking about our first Christmas. Ron was distant that night, just shrugging and grunting when I'd ask him questions. He didn't even respond when I kissed him.
"I'm going to miss you, Won-Won," I said sadly, kissing his neck lightly. He pulled away from me. I was surprised and it stung; he usually loved when I kissed his neck.
"Yeah," he replied.
"Our first Christmas apart is going to be hard," I muttered, grabbing his hand. "But I got you something really special. You're going to love it…"
His eyes wondered to the girls' staircase, Hermione climbing gracefully off it, looking perfect in her simple blue dress robes. I heard him exhale slowly, swallowing hard. I looked at him and saw the longing and the regret in his eyes.
Jealously burned inside of me. I wanted to storm up to her and rip that dress off of her. I wanted Ron to stop looking at her like that and start looking at me with that same glint in his eyes. I told myself she wasn't pretty, that Ron didn't actually want the bushy-haired bookworm, but I knew she looked beautiful. And I hated it.
Then Ron's eyes went to somewhere across the room and quickly his eyes darkened and he looked angry like he was in the changing rooms, so many months previous. I followed them and I found myself looking at McLaggen. Ron and I followed our eyes as McLaggen walked to Hermione, smiled smugly and took her by the arm, leading her out of the common room. Then, as if to show her off to Ron, he turned his head and smiled at Ron. I felt Ron tense up, his anger radiating off his body.
I felt like crying. I felt like hitting Ron over and over and over again and breaking up with him. I felt like my heart was being ripped in two. I felt hurt.
But then Ron turned his head to me and kissed me forcefully, passionately. His lips hurt mine. No matter how many times we snogged, he never kissed me like this. I didn't feel happiness or love when he kissed me like this. He took my face in his hands and started trailing kisses along my neck, whispering: "Should we go somewhere?"
No matter how much he hurt me, I loved him. So I followed him.
***
He still looked at her. Whenever he thought I wouldn't notice, he would watch Hermione reading or doing homework or talking and laughing with Harry. He missed her desperately and I hated it. At some point I thought he'd get over it, that I would fill the place of Hermione in his heart. It took me a long time to realize that no one could replace her, no matter how hard someone tried.
***
I was the last to hear of Ron being poisoned. When I heard, I rushed to the hospital wing, to see Hermione Granger sitting by his bed side. Anger rushed through my veins, seeing the girl who I hated more than anything holding my boyfriend's hand.
"No one told me," I say loudly, glaring my eyes at Hermione. Hermione looked at me and quickly dropped Ron's hand, standing. "Did you not even think of me? He is my boyfriend."
"Yes, well, they felt they should tell his close friends," Hermione said meanly, glaring back at me. "And close friends doesn't mean a girlfriend of only a few months." She spit the word girlfriend out of her mouth like it was something disgusting.
"Oh, that's rich!" I growled. "You two don't even talk anymore! So why do you even care?" Hermione looked hurt by this, and I felt a little twinge of guilt, but it quickly passed.
"Ron almost died, Lavender. Of course I care. He's one of my best friends."
"Oh, right. Best friends don't speak for months," I hiss, shaking my head. "I know you fancy him, Hermione. I'm sorry he doesn't feel the same way, but sometimes we just have to let things go…" Hermione's brown eyes glared intensely at me.
"I'll visit later. Tell him that I love him."
I turned, going out of the hospital wing.
"He said my name in his sleep."
I stopped and turned to look at Hermione. She wasn't smiling, she wasn't angry. She just looked right.
"I don't believe you," I said shakily and ran out of there, crying.
***
I didn't hate Hermione because I hated her as a person; I hated her because I knew Ron cared about her more than ever could care about me. It was painful, realizing that Ron cared more about a girl who didn't even talk to him anymore more than me. But I hoped, one day, he'd care about me more than Hermione. I knew it was unlikely, but I hoped.
***
When I saw Ron and Hermione walking down the steps of the boys' staircase, my heart dropped.
I was angry. Angry that I wasn't good enough for him, that he would cheat on me, that he made a fool of me in front of the whole Gryffindor house. I wanted to take back every kiss, every touch. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me.
"What are you doing up there with her?" I screeched, pointing to Hermione.
Ron sputtered pathetically, and I was surprised that I never noticed how much of a coward he really was.
"I can't believe you'd do that to me, Ron! How could you?" I continued to yell. "I've been there for you, Ron! For months I've been the best girlfriend I could be! I gave you that really expensive necklace. This meant something to me and you just… you just… do that to me? I hate you, Ron Weasley! All you do is treat me like dirt and I'm done! I'm done!" I start to cry, embarrassingly, and I run up the stairs to the girls dorms.
***
I cried the rest of the day. I wondered how long he was with her while he was still dating me. I wondered if he felt badly, at all. I wondered if I really was a stupid girl for falling in love with Ron Weasley. I never should have kissed him. I never should have stayed with him. I should have listened to Parvarti.
***
"Ron, you're making it snow," Hermione said to Ron in Charms, grabbing his wrist. I glared at her, the pain and anger pulsing through me.
"Oh, yeah," said Ron. "Sorry… looks like we've all got horrible dandruff now…"
Ron brushed the fake snow he created off of Hermione's shoulder, smiling down to her. She smiled up to him, blushing. He looked at her, his eyes filled with love. For her.
I burst into tears. Ron Weasley loved Hermione Granger, and she loved him back.
***
Parvarti let me cry to her when he broke my heart.
Closer: Again, I hope you enjoyed! There were some quotes from HBP, which is property of the amazing JK Rowling. :)