My almost High School sweetheart.

I talk to you and I feel all right

You are somehow my hero

I wait for you in the darkness

Scarcely wanting to hope…

Then you materialize in front of me;

So near, and yet so far

I just try to belong

But you confuse me

& Make it all seam wrong

I love you, which is true

But I don't want to get hurt.

So many other people have hurt me

I'm afraid that you will too….

So I decide to do what I've always done before

I cover my emotions

I've become a very good actress over these years of my life

I never tell anyone the real truth,

When I decide to hide the emotions……...eventually I'll forget them

Just like everything else is forgotten

In the space of time & tears

I hurt you once, I'm sorry

But I stopped worse pain from coming

Both for you & for me….

But that did not stop my dreaming

Of a life ended happily,

With you standing their at my side,

Handsome & regal in your uniform

You didn't think I know

But that future will never meet me,

Your arms, never greet me As we both move on to our 'destinies' long past Foolish as I seemed

Just a child, with a dream

I think that you knew,

With every word,

What I meant

You never said to me

"Leave me alone"

Or

"Let me be"

And neither did I shout: "God let this pass!"

I'm thinking just the same

That you share a portion in the blame…..

Though it wasn't voiced

I think you loved me back

I sit here, writing now

Of how I feel inside ……

& Choose this one poem

For just myself

One day I might share it……

But not now.