Title: Every Time
Author: Majestically Mystical
Summary: Every time she smiled, he couldn't help but smile too. Every time he looked at him, his heart would beat faster, faster, faster. Every time, Yuki wanted Tohru to love him. But he was never loved. Kyo was.
Main Character: Yuki Sohma
Warnings: Major angst. Contains some dialogue from Volume 21 - nothing that would really count as a spoiler.
Author Notes: I think this is my best fanfic yet, because of the major angst, and because of the emotions, and the feel of the story, how it struck a chord in me, how I was practically crying writing this.
I hate KyoxTohru now, because of way too much corny, fanfics, so here's an actually good (I hope) onesided YukixTohru fic.
Really, I believe that this is well-written, so please, give me some constructive criticism.
What do you think of the format of it? I think it's formatted pretty well, and I also put a lot of emotion, and emphasis through italicizing and underlining and bolding. Seriously, it has more text features than all my other fanfics combined.
Note: This isn't a oneshot, unless you don't review. It's multi-chaptered.
Every time she smiled, he couldn't help but smile too.
Every time she cried, he would do anything just to see that smile again.
Every time she was near, his spirits would soar.
Every time she looked at him, his heart would beat faster, faster, faster.
Every time, Yuki wanted Tohru to love him.
But he was never loved.
Kyo was.
"Mother… That she would say such a thing as 'I won't forgive you'…" she said, voice shaking, head bowed.
"I-I just… I can't believe it.," she continued in a quiet voice.
"… I can't… Her saying… that… But if… if… she really said such a thing… then… I…" she broke off, trying to gather her emotions.
"If… If she really said that," she said firmly with her fist clenched, "I have to be against her…!"
His eyes widened in shock.
"Because nothing- I-" She paused.
"Don't you understand…?" she whispered.
"I just love Kyo…!" she cried at last, raising her head at last to look at the object of her desires. Tears streamed down her face as she poured out her heart to him.
He watched from the doorway, his heart clenching at that last statement. At those horrible, horrible words.
No, no, no, no, no. It's not true.
It couldn't be.
… How …
How could he have missed that? Those prolonged stares, those embarrassed blushes, those lingering touches…
No. He had known. He just wouldn't admit it to himself. He had told himself lies, half-truths. Anything.
Ignorance. Denial.
He couldn't admit it to himself. Couldn't…
It was the one thing that kept him happy, let him live each day so carefree… So he wouldn't - couldn't - acknowledge that.
… What …
What were these feelings? These emotions? These inexplicable, unexplainable, indescribable feelings coursing through him?
Overpowering him… Enveloping him, suffocating him. Wrapping around him like a blanket, smothering him.
Betrayal.
He had been betrayed. By Kyo, by Tohru… By himself.
Deceit.
He wanted to deceive himself. To tell himself that this was all a lie, nothing more. Was he pathetic to believe in a false reality, when the real one was right in front of him?
Rejection.
He had been rejected. He thought she would understand, that she would heal him, and everything would be fine. He was pitiable, really, for believing that.
Loneliness.
He was alone, oh so alone. He had certainly been alone before – all his life. Yet how come this feeling left him powerless, left him so… weak?
Worthlessness.
He was the cunning, deceiving rat, who everybody hated. Can you explain the feeling of worthlessness? How insignificant you feel you are? How you are nothing, that if you died, no one would care?
Emptiness.
He felt strangely empty, devoid of all emotion for a moment. His heart hardened in a heartbeat, everything froze and his mind remained empty for a few precious seconds.
Then everything returned and he wanted to scream, to cry out, to say anything and everything.
He thought he had hit rock bottom, and now? Dig deeper…
Didn't they understand?
She was his everything. Whatever he did; smile, talk, breathe… it was all because of her. It was all forher. Because she was his everything. His world.
And then everything has shattered, in a split second, in those few moments.
He collapsed, back sliding down against the door frame.
He laughed bitterly, tears cascading down in a flurry of sorrow, regret, loneliness. And with it, realization.
I really am alone, aren't I?