McGonagall on Drugs.
Written by Sirius Norwood
After the success of Molly Weasley sends Howlers, I have decided to write some more spoofs.
Please be warned this stuff comes from the depths of my mind, a place of insanity.
Diolch yn fawr
Sirius
Professor McGonagall is famed for her dry wit and severe strictness, but on the Fourth of October Nineteen Ninety Five this image was utterly destroyed amid hilarity. Please read on and see how those marvellous men, those brilliant guy Gred and Forge entertained Hogwarts for their greatest event.
The Great Hall was quiet due to a Educational Decree Number 38. (All students are required to eat in silence.)
Professor McGonagall meanwhile, whilst eating some Eggy Soldiers, began to experience some rather strange symptoms. She began to see all colours flying across the room and Dolores turned into a toad.
Suddenly she felt the urge to sing and dance and be happy like she hadn't felt in years. So picking up her skirts she stood and started singing
"I believe in Miracles, where you from you, sexy thing. I believe in miracles, since you came along, you sexy thing." As she sang she edged over to Severus and began pointing at him every time she sang. "You sexy thing!" The hall was in uproar whilst many of the muggle raised or those with the muggle world began to sing along . Including to most people's surprise Draco Malfoy who walked over to the Gryffindor table and started pointing at Seamus, who laughing pointed it back and when the song ended snogged Draco for about five minutes.
"Boom." The door to the Great Hall crashed open as Professor Umbridge Senior Undersecretary to the Minster and High Inquisitor of Hogwarts walked into the room smiling like Christmas had come early or rather more likely she had caught a fly.
"Ah Minerva, so good of you to give me reason to fire you, this way no one can dispute it. Singing filthy muggle songs and straddling a professor who is more than Thirty Years your junior. Anything to say hmm hmm" she finished with that god awful giggle
"Ye may take ma job but y'all nevur take ma freedum toady. Scotlan foreva" and with that began to sing Macarena with the entire Hogwarts staff joining in amist gales of laughter and cheerfulness
Diolch yn fawr fy frinddau a dw i'n siarad Cymraeg.
Dedication of my next fiction will go to whoever translates this, without google translate! And manages to tell me what language I am speaking.
On another note the last bit where there are mispelled words, this is intentional and is how I think people with very strong accents say these words. Please note I am not being offensive or racist, that is how it sounds. If I get a complaint off someone complaing about this and is not from Scotland or related to Scots or lives there I will just ignore you. If any of the aforementioned people do complain I will listen to them and rewrite my story. Diolch.
P.S I love the thought of Draco and Seamus getting together.