AN: Do not own. Makes me a sad panda, but whatever.
Also: This is slash, light slash, but slash nonetheless. Don't like, don't read. Simple as that, though I don't know why you would be in the HobbitRomanceBilbo/Thorin if you WEREN'T looking for slash... Just a thought.
It was the perfect opportunity. The two young dwarves grinned at one another over the Halfling's head. This was too good of a chance to miss. They'd seen their Burglar eyeing their uncle since the start of the journey, trying to prove himself capable and garnering only disapproving glances.
So of course they pushed him in the direction of the trolls, with instructions to "Burgle something," and run back to camp to fetch their uncle and tell him what a marvelous burglar Bilbo was turning out to be. They did not tell him about the trolls. Obviously, that would have got them into immediate trouble and perhaps the Burglar being adorable and useful would be enough to make Thorin think twice about scolding them.
Their uncle had rolled his eyes, but trudged back the way they had come. Iglishmêk flew between the brothers, congratulating themselves on a job well done. But that came to naught when Thorin caught site of the demolished forest. He whipped around and glared at his sister-sons.
"What have you done?" The question came out as a hiss, low and angry, the harsh notes of Khudzul ringing in the undertones. Not waiting for an answer, he sent the brothers back to camp. "Tell everyone to come quickly, and be prepared for Trolls."
All the way to camp and back to the edge of the troll clearing, Iglishmêk flashed between the brothers. Maybe this would turn out right after all. Or maybe Thorin was just worried about having to explain to Gandalf why the Burglar had gone off with the Trolls. Bilbo would probably be fine, he was a Halfling, small and undetectable. But what if the Trolls were smarter than your average rock? Kili shot a glance at Fili, and Fili understood. Whatever happened, they had screwed up royally and their uncle was going to have their hides.
They arrived at the troll clearing just in time to see Bilbo get sneezed on. Dismayed, they went to charge into the rescue, but Thorin grabbed them by their hoods and dragged them back. "Wait, he may yet bluff his way out of this."
Fili glanced at his uncle out of the corner of his eye, pleased to note the rather concerned expression gracing his face. Kili's fingers flashed in his periphery, and he nodded, they were getting somewhere. As it became increasingly apparent that Mr. Baggins was not, in fact, going to get himself out of the mess on his own, Thorin became increasingly twitchy, finally shoving his nephews forwards with a growl. "We will talk later. Let's hope your mother never catches wind of this."
The boys blanched, Dis would flay them alive if she ever heard that they had interfered with trolls. But there was no going back now.
It was only after the fact that Fili and Kili realized what the expression in their uncle's eyes had been as he had stared the Halfling down and chastised him for going after trolls alone. The two had shared a couple flashes of Iglishmêk across the campfire, confirming their suspicions. He had been angry, yes, but underneath that anger had been genuine concern and not a small amount of fear.
So perhaps the trolls had not been the perfect opportunity, but it had certainly helped with the brothers' cause.
After that experience, the two young dwarves decided to take a more hands-off approach. They did small things for Mr. Baggins and their uncle, then told the one that the other had done it. One evening, Bilbo turned towards his sleeping mat to go to bed, only to find it had been moved closer to Thorin's. Neither he nor Thorin ever asked, just assumed the other had done it. Kili, who was the actual perpetrator, had laughingly signaled Fili of his success.
As it turned out, this was the last time their meddling was needed. The following day was filled with goblins and dark. When their uncle was alerted of Bilbo's disappearance, they saw the pain beneath his anger, and the utter relief when Bilbo magically reappeared. And when Bilbo charged in front of their uncle, ready to stand down Azog and all his minions, they noted with no small satisfaction the amused smile that flashed briefly across their uncle's eyes before he passed out.
That night, as they stood watch together on the Carrock, sharing a pipe and flashing Iglishmêk at one another, they noticed Bilbo drag his sleeping gear over to where Thorin was leaning against a rock, keeping still because of his injuries. They watched for a moment and then turned away, grinning.
For if either of them saw their uncle draw the Halfling down into a gentle kiss, they never told another soul.
Please Review. For every review a baby animal is born in the world. Everyone loves baby animals, right?