I just wanna start off by saying that this fanfiction is a book fanfiction. I just finished reading Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson who's an amazing writer ! And I loved the way it ended. I also believe that this book needs to be continued. I wanna know more about the book's character, named Lia, therefore I am writting this fanfiction. I took the character from the book, she has the same struggles, the same family,...etc but I kinda changed her to make it mine.

I hope you enjoy it ! If you do, let me know so I keep writting more chapters !

1st Chapter

My name is Lia I am 17 years old. My mother is Chloe, my father is David. And stepsister Emma. And Jennifer is my stepmother. My best friend Cassie died last year.

I was admitted in New Season because I starved myself to death.. I once made this pact with Cassie, I had to be skinnier than her. It led me to News Season and it led her to death.

I hated myself, I hated everyone and everything. It has been a year since I'm a patient in New Season. And today, I'm going home.

I'm going back in the real world, with real people, real troubles and real feelings.

I'm so freaking nervous about what will happen to me. But I feel better in my own skin. It's not over yet but I wanna fight for my life.

I step outside. The sun is shining. It's really bright, the birds are singing and the wind is blowing. It's almost perfect. Only you can hear the cars, the drivers who are yelling at each other, you can hear the mom who's screaming over her kid because he ate grass. I almost forgot how it felt, being human and having a life.

Outside New Season's front door, there's a parking, with lots of cars. On its right there's a park and on its left there's the road.

People always seem busy here, like they're running for their lives.

I gently shake my head to replace a piece of blond hair that fell in front of my green eyes. I take a deep breath and follow my dad to the car.

I turn the radio on and a song that is completely new to me is dancing right through my ears. It's calm but has a cool beat to it.

Daddy turn the volume down and clears his throat. I know him more than I know myself. When he does that, it means he has something important to tell me. Something that might make me react in a negative way. It surprises me when he doesn't say anything.

So I break first :

« Just go ahead and tell me what's up ? »

« Jennifer, your mom and I had an idea » he finally says.

« What is it ? » I ask

« We thought it would be good if you'd spend your summer holidays at your grandparents' house » he explains.

I think about it for a minute. I've never heard of 'em. I don't even know their names and they've never cared about me neither. My dad hates them. I don't understand why suddenly they want to send me there !

« I'm back for only 2 minutes and you already wanna get rid of me ? » I ask not so sarcasticly.

« Listen Lia, we believe you when you say you're feeling better. But with my job... »

« You'll never be here. You've never been here anyway » I stop him. « sorry » I add, « I didn't mean to be rude »

« It's okay. » he says slowly. « We believe it would be good for you. Before you go back to school » he adds with a thin voice.

« It's not like I have the choice do I ? » I ask.

« You don't. We've already been booking a flight for France. » he says.

« France ? » I shout.

« Yeah, that's were they live. » He simply answers.

I don't say anything else. I don't know what to think and I decide I'm too tired to argue or to worry about anything.

Once I'm back home and open up the door, Emma shouts my name and runs right to me. She's smiling and seems excited. I open up my arms and kneel to give her a nice hug.

« I love you sweetie » I whisper in her ear, so only she can hear.

I also wave and smile at Jennifer who's watching the scene from the kitchen. She smiles back.

Emma laughs and says « I've missed you » and then she starts crying « I thought you were gonna die ».

It hurts me when I see her like this. I hug her even more and tell her how sorry I am, how better I feel and I promise her I will never leave her alone.

The rest of the week goes quickly. I pack up for France, ask some details about my « trip », about my grand parents and I google France to know more about it. I had learn a couple of words such as « Bonjour » and « Je t'aime » when I took French class.

I should be excited to leave everyone would be. But I'm not everyone and I don't feel ready.

What if my plane crashes ? What if my grand parents hate me ? What if I have a break down over there ? Who will help me ?

I will never get the answers to all of those questions.

The night before my departure, I barely sleep. It is 6 a.m. When I get up and get ready. I put on a black pant with a plain black t-shirt, I add my white coat and put on my black heeled boots.

I have some toasts, put some butter on it and I drink a glass of orange juice as a breakfast. Not counting the calories I'm putting into my mouth is one of the hardest things I have to do. But I manage to eat everything.

When I'm done eating and cleaning, I take my bags, put them in the car, take my passport as well as my handbag, put them on the passenger sit and climb upstairs, back to my room where Emma is sleeping. I leave her a little note :

My dear sister,

I'm leaving for France this morning as you know. I'll miss you a lot. I hope you'll have the most amazing summer holidays of your life ! I'll call you once I'm there.

Much love,

Lia.

I kiss her forehead, quickly say goodbye to Jennifer and then my father takes me to my mother's house. I stay there about 30 minutes. We talk, but we mostly watch TV. Once it's time, she drives me to the airport.

She hugs me and kisses me, she swears that I'll enjoy myself there and make good memories. I wish I could believe her but I can't. I hate French people, I hate France, I hate my grand parents and I hate travelling.

After three hours of queuing I am finally sitting and waiting to get in the plane. I have about a hour left before I embark. So I decide to stroll around every shops.

I find a cute bathing suit, try it (ignore my body in the mirrors) and decide to buy it 'cause I don't have any.

Then comes the time to load in. I queue up when a boy just skips the queue that's behind me and straightly pass in front of me.

« Excuse me ? What do you think you're doing » I madly ask.

He turns around and smiles at me. I instantly hate that smile. Dimples show up as well as a perfect line of white teeth. His gorgeous face is tanned which makes his blue eyes shine brighter. He puts his right hand into his hair, replacing a strand of black hair.

« What do you think I'm doing sweetheart ? » he replies.

WHAAAAT ? I can't believe this ass just called me sweetheart !

I calm down and breath in before I answer « You have to queue like everyone else BA-BE ! » I insist on the « babe » and he laughs so hard that people turn around to look at him. But he doesn't seem to care and neither do I.

I put my hands up in the air and let them fall back on my skinny body. I roll my eyes up, grab my bag and squeeze it in my arms. I pass in front of him and before he can say anything, the strewardesstakes my boarding pass and welcome me on board.

I'm happy I won.

I walk in the plane until I find my seat. I am next to a porthole. I will be able to watch the sky while we're flying to France.

I sit down, take my phone off my bag and other things that I will need during the flight. I feel somoene's breath in my neck when I put my bag inthe luggage above me. I ignore it and sit down at my place. I close my eyes and think of Emma. She might be awake by now.

I can feel my heart beating faster, my mouth is shaking as well as my hands. Oh no, not now, not here. I'm in need. CUT.

I was admitted in New Season because of my eating disorder, but also because of self harm. It was almost harder to handle it than the eating disorder.

For the first few weeks I stole a knife at the cafeteria and made thin perfect cuts on my thighs with it. They found out 'cause the doctors were checking out our body at least once a week. They saw the cuts and then paid attention to every object I would carry to my room. I still managed to cut myself, I lied and said it was a cat or something. They believed me. For four months I think.

But then, I decided to stop it and I started having those anxiety attacks. They said it was because I was in need. Self harm was like a drug. They tought me how to handle it

So that I'll end up not craving it.

I'm still working on that part though.

I try to think about some place calm, I try to imagine what my life will look like in ten years.

You'll be dead I think. CUT.

I bend towards, elbows on my knees and I take my head into my hands. I can feel someone sitting next to me. Must be the passenger who'll sit next to mefor the rest of the flight. I don't even look up, I can't. CUT.

My body starts shaking. Literally.

« Don't think about us flying off if it makes you nervous. » says someone. « Think about my beautiful naked body sweetheart » adds the voice next to me.

I recognize it. It's him, the guy who passed in front of me in the queue earlier.

I can't help it and I laugh. I do actually picture him naked and this thought doesn't disgust me, but I try to get rid of it and I succeed.

I stop laughing but keep smiling. I look at him and he looks proud of his joke.

« You're unbelievable » I say.

« I know. But you gotta admit it worked. You're not freaking out anymore. » He adds.

Even if I hate him being right, he is. I feel better thanks to him.

« Yeah, thanks » I say.

« You're welcome. » He concludes smiling at me.

The majority of the flight goes well. I watch a movie, listen to my music. The guy turned out to be named Steven, it was written on his passport.

Steven is often walking around the plane. He probably can't sit for more than a hour or maybe he just needs to pee a lot.

He runs back to his sit when they anounce they'll serve us a lunch.

He acts like a kid. He stares at me and I ignore him for a while.

« Why are you starring at me like that ? » I ask still faking to read my book.

« I'm starving » he says.

« Good. But that's not an answer. » I say.

I raise my head up and look at him. We're really close, and he is handsome. I regret not putting any makeup on for a minute.

Why do you care Lia ? He's dumb and you'll never see him again. Right, I'll never see him again.

He's still looking at me and I wonder if he could here me thinking.

« What is it ? » I ask.

« You're beautiful » he says.

« Shut up » I rudely answer. He sneers.

I have always been obsessed by my weight so I never had time to think about boys. I never had a boyfriend. I don't know how to flirt, how to kiss or what love is.

But yeah, I know how many calories there is in a cupcake (305 calories for a 100g cupcake.)

« You don't believe me ? » he asks, interrupting me from thinking.

A friend of his comes and kneels next to him, stopping our conversation and I thank him in my thoughts. He whispers something in Steven's ear.

He smiles at me once he notices me and adds « She's hot. Who's she ? » he asks to Steven.

« It's not important. She's no one. » Steven says.

Steven's friend laughs really loud it almost makes me feel unconfortable. Steven just stares at me and doesn't say a word, he is not even smiling. I can't tell if he's joking or not. This is stupid, they're weird. He is so moody and I hate that. For a minute he's flirting with me and the other he's bringing me down. I don't get it. I don't get him.

IGNORE HIM.

I roll up my eyes and go back to reading or at least I pretend to but I actually listen to what they're saying to each other. They laugh when Steven's friend explains that he just had sex in the plane's toilet which makes me wanna throw up.

Ugh what kinda girl would do this ? I mean it's a tiny space ? I can barely sit down properly to pee. I'm not even talking about how dirty these toilets are.

When Steven laughs to this story I don't recognize his laugh. Maybe I'm wrong but it looks like he's faking it or making it.

NONE OF YOUR BLOODY BUISINESS I think.

" Ladies and gentleman we will land in a couple of minutes. Please take place and fasten your seat belt now." says a stewart.

I look by the window and I can see the town. I guess it's Paris. It's raining, it's all grey outside. It reminds me of New Season, of my parents, of Cassie.

I feel Steven leaning towards me to look outside.

We land at Charles-De-Gaulle's airport Steven takes his bagpack and gives me my handbag. I thank him with a smile.

We get out of the plane and I immediataly go towards the conveyor belt to grab my suitcases.

I see Steven walking by me, he stops in front of me, looks at me in the eyes and says :

« It was nice to meet you Lia, I hope we'll meet again in Paris. It's a small city sweetheart! » He smiles at me, kiss my cheeks « it's how they say hello and goodbye here. They kiss on both cheeks » he adds and smiles again.

I don't say anything 'cause I'm surprised. He's already far when I whisper « How do you know my name ? » and « Don't call me sweetheart ! » I yell.

He hears this last sentence and laughs.