CHAPTER ONE THE BEGINNING OF THE END

I sat there at the kitchen bench wondering what the fuck just happened. His reaction was 10 times worse than I could ever had imagined, he walked out on me. He actually walked out on me. I'm stunned. The tears start falling down my cheeks as I look at the empty space where he just stood but I'm too numb to feel them. I hear Mrs. Jones before I see her "oh Ana" she croons, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I overheard what happened, come here" she says as she reached over and put her arms around me. I let my head fall into the crevice of her neck and sobbed and sobbed the pain I felt was so devastating. I knew he wouldn't be happy for me to be pregnant but I never expected him to just walk out.

Maybe I shouldn't have told him, maybe once I got the news from Dr Green, I should have left him walked out on him. If he never knew I was pregnant he would have been okay I'm sure he would have replaced me quickly with a girl who could meet all his needs. "I don't know what to do" I sob taking in big gasps of air. "I didn't plan this it, it just happened. Gail what am I going to do?"

Gail looked down at me with concern etched into her face "give him time he's just had a bit of a shock, I'm sure he'll come around. How about a cup of tea to sooth down those nerves?" I look up at her tears still streaming down my cheeks. "To be honest Gail what I would really like is a glass of wine but I suppose I will have to settle for cup of tea, thanks."

After a while the tears start to slow down, Gail hands over the cup of tea and I stare at the steam rising from the top of the mug. I take a sip of the tea and close my eyes, I imagine telling Christian that I'm pregnant and he's happy - over the moon. Spinning me around in arms in a joyous embrace. I knew he was never going to be that happy but never in all of the fantasies that I had, had throughout the day since I found out I was pregnant did I ever imagine him waking out on me. I was prepared for screaming and yelling and his usual tantrums, but walking out on me? What if he never comes around? What if he demands I get rid of little blip? I rub my hands on my over my belly and close my eyes. I could never let that happen. I would never forgive myself and I would hate Christian if I had an abortion.

I finish off the tea and head into the library hoping to find some solace. As I walk into the room I notice the pool table and it reminds me of a much happier time. I sigh to myself feeling dejected. I pull out my blackberry to see if Christian has messaged me but there is nothing from him only a message from Kate asking if I felt like having drinks tonight. I decide to ring her, just to hear a friendly voice. I have no intention of telling her of what happened or about the pregnancy I just want a friend to talk to.

As soon she hears my voice she knows that there is something wrong. " there is nothing wrong Kate" I say for the third time in less than a minute "Christian and I just had a little argument that's all" I can hear her take a deep breath as if to calm herself and then she asks if I'm up for drinks tonight. I know I can't because of little blip even though right now there is nothing I would rather do. Instead I tell her that I have had a big week with everything that's happened and I want to just stay at home. "That's fine" she retorts "I will come to you" she hangs up the phone straight away so I don't get a chance to argue with her.

I quickly run to my bathroom and try and fix my face so it doesn't look so blotchy and try and prepare myself for the Kavanagh inquisition. From my bedroom I hear Taylor with Kate and I quickly run out to meet her. One look at her and the tears start falling down my face again. "What's happened Ana are you okay?" she quickly drapes me into her arms folding me into her. "What's he done this time?" she asks as she lets go of me to look at my face. I don't answer her I don't know what to say I'm totally lost for words. She releases me and heads for the fridge pulls out a bottle of wine and gets two glasses. "Umm Kate" I mutter I don't really feel like drinking tonight I'll just have a cup of tea." She looks at me stunned as if I have two heads "of course you feel like drinking look at you, it will make you feel so much better"

"Kate honestly I don't feel like drinking, I'm just not in the mood you know" I say between sobs. She snorts at me "what's wrong Steele you pregnant?"

Before I can stop myself the tears cascade down my cheeks in a torrent "Oh fuck Ana I was only joking" she says staring at me dumbstruck. "You're fucking pregnant!"

"Kate I don't know what to do I only just found out earlier today, I told Christian and let's just say that he's not that thrilled about the idea." She doesn't say a word she waits for me to continue. "He stormed out of here he, he walked out on me. He left me Kate he left me" she quickly moves so that I am once again in her hold she rocks me back and forth and just lets me cry all over her sodden shoulder "it's okay sweetie" she says over and over again "everything will work out fine". I don't know how long we remained like that it seemed like an eternity. In the end my tears dry up and I decide to tell her the whole story. "I just didn't expect him to behave like that" I mutter "I knew he wouldn't be happy but to walk out on me. Maybe I should just have run away once I found out, started a new life somewhere else and bought the baby up on my own"

"Mrs Grey, Miss Kavanagh would you like me to fix you something to eat" says Mrs Jones as she walks into the kitchen. "No thank you Gail, I'm right" I say looking into her kind eyes. "What about you 'Kate you hungry?" I ask "No thank you" she replies "I had something to eat before I left home"

"Ana you barely touched your dinner I really think you should eat something"

"Honestly Mrs 'jones I don't think I could stomach any food but I would really love another cup of tea"

Kate and I talk for what seemed like hours not just about my little surprise but she also spoke about her job and Elliot and it suddenly dawned on me that she was going to wait around until Christian got home. I hadn't looked at my blackberry all night so I grab it to see if he has left me any messages. I'm disappointed straight away as there is nothing from him. I look at the time its already 11 Kate should be heading home she has work tomorrow. When I bring this up with her she replies "I'm not going to leave you here alone until he's back home and everything is good between you"

"Kate that's silly I don't know how long he'll be and you have work in the morning"

"I'm worried about you Steele I don't want you facing this on your own"

I'm tired Kate it's been a rough couple of days I am going to try and sleep, hopefully when he gets home he'll be in a better mood" she stands to leave knowing that there is no point in arguing with me gives me a big hug and walks out to the elevator. "Ring me" she says "No matter what time. If he is still shitty ring me and I will be here straight away understand?" I nod thankful for her friendship.

I decide to grab the blanket from spare bed and lie on the lounge and wait for him there. I am awoken a few hours later by a sudden noise coming out of the foyer. I wake up startled realizing that at last Christian must be home and the second thing that occurs to me is that the colour of the dawn is already in the sky. He's been out all night.