My dearest Naruto,
This isn't my first letter to you. It probably wont be my last. You most likely wont see any of them either, these love letters. But that wont change the fact that they exist. They are inscribed upon the walls of my heart, in indelible ink.
They're in the swing of my hair, the flutter of my eyelashes, the twisting of my always nervous hands. They are present when I walk, each step a word, my path stringing together a sentence of my feelings for you. I can't believe you can't see them when I look at you, or hear them when I breathe. They are so visible to me, why not to you? Sometimes I feel like I should be made up of words, not flesh. Sentence structure instead of bones. Paragraphs where my muscles would be. Ink for blood. All of me is made up of love for you. Would that make you uncomfortable I wonder? The size of my adoration for you? I wont lie, it scares me sometimes too.
I don't know that you can never feel the same. I accept it. But I don't want to. All my life, I've simply accepted. It's an easy thing for me. Easier than fighting ever was. I've always accepted that I would be less than what my family expected of me. I accepted that I would always be weaker than my peers. I accepted that I would forever be painfully shy and meek. I had accepted my fate from the moment I could fully grasp what exactly that meant. But then I met you. And you changed everything. You changed me. And suddenly I didn't want to just accept anymore. I wanted to change things. You gave me courage, which morphed into something like worship. Worship changed to affection, affection to adoration and before I knew it, full-blown love was knocking on my door. And this I did accept without the expectation that always accompanied my decisions before it. I did more than accept it, I welcomed it.
My feelings grew and became a tangible, palpable thing. And I am foolishly nourishing it still. It's a living thing now, stubborn and strong-willed, though slightly wilted from hiding with me in the shadows. I often wonder what would happen if I ever shoved it into the light. I'm sure that it would flourish if you would just turn your glowing face to it. I dream of it unfurling brightly coloured blossoms, loving words etched on the petals for the world to see. Not just my words, but our words. Our needs, our wants the same, tangled together in harmony.
You left for a long mission today. I don't know when you'll come home, or if ill even be here when you come back. I hope so, because maybe these will be the words you finally get to see. I hope you can learn to at least accept their existence, and shine a little for me.
Love always, Hinata