So this is set in the same time as Artifact Baby-Making for Dummies, so spoilers for that. Also spoilers for Innkeeper's Caretaker but they're very minor. I would have called this PWP but lo and behold, this is the precise moment of conception for baby Cleena. Please let me know what you think, I will forever love you (you think I'm kidding) Plus, if the idea of Claudia with an artifacty penis freaks you out, don't read. You have been warned.
Also, remember that Claudia is 30. Biologically, Leena is 28. Weird, I know.
Update for Artifact Baby-Making for Dummies: This small fic was pre-written. The next chapter for ABFB will be at around the end of the month, maybe later due to uni commitments.
oxoxoxoxo
When Claudia let out a groan in the middle of a meeting with the regents, it was Jane who, sat next to her, wore a bemused expression and asked her if she was okay.
"Huh? Wh… yeah, fine…" She mumbled and tucked her phone into her pocket. That had to be the dirtiest text she'd ever gotten from her now ovulating wife and what she knew was that she needed to leave… pretty much now.
"As I was saying," Adwin cleared his throat and darted a glance towards the young Caretaker. "I believe the best thing for us to do is hire Pete as the Warehouse Supervisor from now on."
Claudia shook her head and tapped her pen against her notepad. "He's not gonna like that, you do know that, don't you?"
Kosan frowned. "You don't agree he's fit for the job?"
"Did I say that?" Claudia rolled her eyes, "and no, not Pete. I'm talking about Artie." She scribbled some flowers on her pad with a distant grin. "He's reaaaally not gonna be happy."
Jane perked up and nodded. "I have to say I agree with Claudia. We have to tackle this with the utmost level of sensitivity."
Mrs. Frederic nodded and made eye contact with each person. "He's been there for so long, cutting it out of his life will most likely do more damage than good. We have to be smart."
Claudia felt like thudding her head against the table. For such a clever bunch of people, the regents were known to repeat themselves on occasion…. Again, and again and again. She felt her phone buzz again and discreetly slipped it out of her pocket, clicking the lock button and watching as another text greeted her. I really need your cock inside me. Seriously, Claud… right now. Her eyes widened as far as they could go and she attempted to hold in a splutter. No use. Coughing harshly, she clutched at her chest and cleared her throat several times. Jane frowned and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Claudia? Are you okay?" Claudia nodded and waved her arms around.
Mrs. Frederic's eyebrow arched from the other end of the table. "Everything alright?"
"Mm…" Claudia nodded. "Perfect. Wonderful…" she stood up. "Well, this has been completely spiffy but I'm afraid I gotta skedaddle." She pointed her thumb towards the door.
"What's the matter?" Josie asked, a relatively new regent who was about eight years older than Claudia. She was probably the assistant caretaker's favorite regent because a) she wasn't a snob, and b) she still had no idea what she was doing.
Claudia nodded. "Something going on at the B&B. Leen's not feeling all too hot," she said, fumbling to put her notepad and her Farnsworth into her bag. "We'll reconvene, right?" She shared a look with Irene who stood up and grabbed her jacket.
"Would you like me to go with you?" Mrs. Frederic's eyebrow was still raised both in concern and slight incredulity.
"No!" Claudia barked. She closed her eyes and gulped. "Um… no, no… I think I've got things handled. Problems of the female persuasion," she said, waved goodbye to everybody and dashed out of the small restaurant where Josie worked and drove away in the Prius hastily.
When she got home, she was confused that after calling out, the innkeeper was nowhere to be seen. "Leena?" No answer. "Leena?" She searched around the kitchen, then checked their bedroom and tried one more time. "Leen? Honey?"
Myka came out of her shared bedroom with her daughter and frowned. "You okay, Claud?" She was holding a sleeping Lil in her arms and her voice was hushed, obviously having only just managed to calm her down.
"You seen Leena?" Claudia was a little baffled to say the least.
"Nope, sorry…" Myka shrugged and excused herself back into the bedroom. Claudia rolled her eyes and disappeared into the bedroom. Opening the bedside table, she took out the piece of papyrus from Min's temple and took down her pants. The artifact produced more pain than getting teslad but it was completely worth it. Orgasming and being inside Leena at the same time was one of the best things she'd ever done in her life. She read the papyrus prayer sheet over and over again until she felt the tingling pain begin in her groin. It shot up to her head, gave her a sudden headache and she felt the stretching of her skin hit her between the legs. She gasped out and clutched the headboard hard as tears sprung to her eyes. The headache grew in intensity as did the agony and she bit down on a knuckle to hide yet another cry of pain. "Oh fuck…" She took her phone in her hand and lifted it to her ear. "Where are you?" she panted, looking down as the cock she'd become so used to made itself known on her body. A month ago it had completely freaked her out, but now it was like a third hand. A very pleasurable hand. Suddenly the pain disappeared and she cupped herself, letting out a tiny smile. This was gonna be good.
"You have to guess," Leena smiled coyly.
"Leena, I am serious, or I'm gonna jack off by myself," Claudia hissed, taking hold of the shaft in her hand and rubbing slowly to ease some of the tension.
"Don't you dare," Leena chuckled, as if she wasn't really scared that Claudia would do such a thing. "Downstairs." she finally said.
"I checked downstairs," Claudia backed herself against the wall, her hand pumping up and down on its own accord. She just couldn't stop. She had no willpower and the sensation was just too perfect.
"Basement," Leena grinned, and hopped up onto the washing machine before hanging up and throwing her phone into the padded laundry basket. A minute later, Claudia stumbled in, wearing sweats and a feral grin on her face. She stormed up to the innkeeper and reached up to grab Leena's face before pulling her down and kissing her hard. "Unghh… I missed you," Leena whined as she pulled away, wriggling slightly when Claudia's possessive hand settled up her skirt and began to rub her with precision. "Fuck that's goood…" She whined.
"Better had be…" Claudia closed her eyes and tried to hold off from touching herself but it was way too hard. In more ways than one. "Can't be teased right now… I just… I can't," she grit her teeth, so ready to just sink inside her wife and fuck her until she passed out.
"Take it," Leena widened her legs, tugging at the back of Claudia's hair. Claudia's mouth began a strong assault on her lips, her tongue. She bit down on Leena's lower lip and moved the woman's panties aside, rolling up the denim skirt and pulling it up to the woman's torso to keep it out of the way. "You really shouldn't tease me like that," she snarled, pulling Leena closer to the edge of the washing machine, two hands digging into her wife's backside. She kissed her hard, then brought a hand down to guide herself to the apex of Leena's thighs. She entered her quickly, causing the innkeeper to jump. She would have asked her if she'd hurt her wife but Leena's eyes were closed, her hips rocking to get more pressure and quite frankly, she was a little pissed off that because they wanted a child, she was expected to drop everything, find the innkeeper and fuck her when she was ovulating. She closed her eyes and sunk further inside her groaning when Leena's hands tugged on her breasts. She pulled out suddenly and pulled Leena off of the washing machine. "Get off…"
"Wh… Claudia?" Leena frowned but stood, her skirt still halfway around her waist. She watched as Claudia pulled the rest of her pants down and hopped up onto the washing machine before she suddenly tugged at her hair and pulled her up by the waist until she too knelt on top of the washing machine.
"Are you serious?" Leena asked, steadying herself with two hands on Claudia's shoulders. "I'm… I think I'm gonna fall," she said in a panic and felt arms settle around her hips.
"Not gonna fall. Come on…" she leaned closer and snarled against Leena's lip, her voice turning low. "Fuck yourself on my cock. It's what you want, right?"
Leena bit her lip and looked down, nodding. "Don't let me fall."
"Got you nice and tight," Claudia smirked, two possessive hands falling to Leena's backside and massaging both buttocks with her palms.
Leena finally grinned and reached down, stroking Claudia a few times before she eased herself on. "Mmm…" She closed her eyes and fell against her wife's chest as Claudia braced her arms on the surface of the washing machine and began to pump into the woman steadily. Leena was impossibly wet. She usually was when she was ovulating, so much so that Claudia often worried if her little guys would ever be successful. She felt a bite to her shoulder and dug her nails into Leena's lower back, pushing and pulling her down. The machine began to smack against the basement wall as their fucking got more intense. After a while Leena's hips worked hard and she began to rub herself against Claudia's abdomen, the zaps of arousal to her clit causing her to become more frenzied in her movements. "Oh god… oh god."
"Yeah?" Claudia grinned, her hands reaching up to take hold of her wife's breasts. That was the best thing about the prayer sheet. Each time they used it, Leena would come the quickest and Claudia would be the one to finish up.
"Oh my god," Leena tugged on Claudia's hair, one fistful clenched hard as she brought her face closer before penetrating her mouth with her tongue. She whined when Claudia sucked hard, her hips not ceasing in their pumping. Claudia's legs thrashed as she tried to maintain her stamina, but the women froze when a whirring sound started up and the washing machine began a cycle. Leena burst out laughing but Claudia's shook her head, pounded harder and sucked forcefully against her neck. Leena soon lost her smile when the washing machine went into automatic spin mode and began to vibrate. "Oh fuck… oh fuck, Claud…" Leena grimaced, impaling herself as well as she could. Claudia had things sorted and in all honesty it was much safer that way. Leena felt a hand settle between her legs and thrum at her clit in a forced, circular motion. As Claudia's thumb spun, Leena felt the warmth settle within her belly and bit down on Claudia's shoulder as she climaxed. She flopped head over Claudia's shoulder and hugged tight, smiling when she felt the throbbing release inside her as Claudia orgasmed and she dug short nails into her wife's backside. "Woaaah that was fun."
Claudia's eyes rolled back. "Fuck… That was…" she wheezed, "…fuck."
She had initially felt a little annoyed when Leena had sent her the texts but the satisfied chortle over her shoulder and the loving hug threw everything out of the window. "That it was," Leena chirped, sighing heavily. She raised herself up and down slowly, coaxing Claudia's release to its completion.
"Ahh… no more," Claudia winced and pulled out, lowering the innkeeper down onto the floor slowly. Leena hastily got dressed and crossed her legs as she waddled to the door of the basement. "That it? No 'thank you' kiss?"
"Gonna lie down…" Leena smiled. "You can join me if you want," and with that, the woman scuttled off to go upstairs.
Claudia hung her head back and let out a tired groan as she felt herself become limp. "Fuck…" she shook her head looking down at herself. She hated this bit. This… thing looking back at her, looking almost as tired as she felt. She poked awkwardly at her balls and winced again. Sensitive was an understatement. Hopping off the washing machine and turning it off, she gathered her pants and slipped them on, hoping she didn't show too much before she made her way up to the main part of the B&B after double checking that she hadn't left any unwanted…spillage. She tiptoed up the stairs and quietly opened her bedroom door to find Leena grinning like a Cheshire cat. "What's with the crazy grin?" She locked the door and slipped further into the room. She opened the drawer of the bedside table but Leena stopped her.
"Can… can you keep it for a little while?"
Claudia looked down at herself and winced. "Do I have to? I hate this bit." she said with a whine.
Leena squinted, strange, unfamiliar colours swirling in front of her wife's chest. "You okay?"
"Fine," Claudia grumbled and walked off to the bathroom to pee.
"Lift the lid!" Leena called out. That earned a small snigger from the Caretaker who watched in fascination as she aimed for the toilet bowl. Okay, so that bit was fun. She finished up and washed her hands before skulking back into the bedroom. She grabbed some boxers from the top drawer nearest the bed and shoved them on. "Okay," Leena began, narrowing her eyes. "What's got you pissed?" she asked as she watched her wife slip into bed.
Claudia shrugged and lay on her back with a sigh. "Just… doesn't matter."
"Tell me," Leena rolled onto her side and clenched the redhead's hand. "Come on…"
"I just…" Claudia rubbed her eyes. "I feel kinda used? Like… like it's literally just the sperm you need."
"I, I… need?" Leena sat up, her mouth dropping open. "Really?"
Claudia shrugged again. "Sorry…" she mumbled apologetically. "Just how I feel."
"Honey," Leena cooed, lying back down and taking Claudia's cheeks into her hands. "You know if this was the other way round, I would be running a mile if you were ovulating, right?" She watched brown eyes blink back at her soulfully. "You know that, right?"
Claudia let a smile grow slowly on her face. "I do now… though you'd probably have an asthma attack and collapse half way."
"I can so go a mile," Leena's eyes squinted at her insistently.
"Right…" Claudia nodded, holding her lips to stop herself from laughing.
Leena began to grumble and she flicked the purple inhaler resting on the bedside table onto the floor. "You saying I'm unfit?"
"Nope," Claudia shuffled up the bed and rested her head on Leena's shoulder, "I'm saying you've got lousy lungs." She smiled. "But the sentiment is cute." She heard the puff of air sound by her ear as Leena released a smile of her own. "You really would?"
"Sure I would!" Leena squawked and lay back down, a little offended that Claudia had to question her. She watched Claudia follow her and wriggled closer until their tummies touched. Reaching out, she brushed the back of her hand against Claudia's cheek, tracing the little wrinkles by her wife's nose and the edge of her eyes. She leaned forward and kissed them, before settling her lips on Claudia's and pulled back. "Sorry…"
"'S'okay…" the redhead huffed and looked down at herself. "I uhh… I just kinda hate how much we rely on this thing." She sighed when Leena's hand snuck into the front of her boxers.
Leena shook her head and kissed her again. "I don't think of it as a thing. Or an artifact. All I think is that it's you… trying to get me pregnant. That's all that matters." she rubbed slowly, watching Claudia's eyes close in pleasure until the caretaker had had enough and suddenly reached over flinging the piece of papyrus into a static bag on the floor. She yelped out in pain and crawled up in a ball. Leena sighed and placed a hand on her shoulder, waiting for the tremors to stop and the wails to subside. When the sensitivity eased, Claudia faced Leena once more. "If you're gonna treat me… I don't want it like that."
"Fair enough," Leena smiled and tugged the woman closer until she was able to pull the redhead on top of her, her hands digging into her wife's underwear and finding Claudia wet. "Kinda don't blame you," she smiled at the gentle rocking against her hand whilst Claudia sighed and buried her face into Leena's neck for extra comfort. She kept one hand still and wrapped the other around Claudia's back, smiling at the whimpers and small moans delivered next to her ear.
"Inside," Claudia whined, her hips flying up as she felt Leena cooperate and penetrate her lightly.
"That okay?" Leena asked, closing her eyes when Claudia's possessive hand took hold of her breast. "I'll take that as a yes," she smiled and cuddled her wife close, kissing her forehead gently until she managed to bring Claudia to a refreshing orgasm. The caretaker flopped down on top of her and sighed.
"Thank you," she whispered, holding in a yawn.
"Anytime," Leena smiled, her hands rolling over the muscles in Claudia's back. She soothed her, fingers clenching at the strong shoulders that had become so used to climbing ladders and carrying boxes within the Warehouse. It had suddenly gone very quiet, and Leena's head craned to peer at Claudia's face, curtained by her chestnut hair. "Claud?" Silence. "Sweetie?" She began to laugh and felt the sudden possessive sleep groping she'd come to know and love so well. She reached down and rubbed Claudia's left buttock to try and rouse her but it was no use. She could have napped, but Leena wasn't sleepy - so she lay there for at least an hour, and contemplated what they'd just done. Calling Claudia away from a meeting with the regents wasn't the wisest thing to do… but it was fun. She heard another yawn and a hot puff of air against her breast as Claudia stirred and resettled herself. Every month it was the same. Leena would text, Claudia would come running. Before she knew it, tears sprung to Leena's eyes and she sniffed, cupping the back of her wife's head with one hand, before wiping the stream of tears from her cheek with the other. Leena reached over to her nightstand, taking the sleeping Caretaker with her and grabbed her phone, as she began to surf the web. She found what she was looking for and with another swipe to her cheek, she put the phone to her ear. "Hi," she said in a hushed voice and cleared her throat. "Is this the Klondike music store?" She winced, realizing that she sounded like a complete and utter noob.
"It is," a chirpy sounding voice resonated down the phone. "How can I help?"
She smiled, threading her hands through Claudia's hair and pressed her lips to the top of her head before speaking. "You still have that Rickenbacker 360-12 for sale, right?"
"We do indeed," the man said, looking at the electric guitar sat patiently on the wall.
"Great. I'll pick it up tomorrow. Consider it sold," she whispered, gave her name and number, then hung up.
Shit. That was $2000 gone. And they were trying for a baby. Leena nodded to herself. There was only one explanation and that was that frankly, she was going insane. Claudia stirred in her sleep and repositioned herself so that her head lay on her wife's right breast. That action alone proved to Leena that actually she was quite sane. Over the past few months, Claudia had put herself through agony, through extreme exhaustion and psychological strain in her attempt get the innkeeper pregnant. Claudia wasn't known to show the pain she was going through. If she cut herself with wire, the great inventor barely flinched. But the prayer sheet caused the woman to sweat, and howl in agony and it was a horrible thing to watch but it was so worth it. So they'd be two grand poorer. She smiled and rubbed her hand up and down the now older woman's back.
Claudia's happiness was worth that, in fact it was worth all the money Leena could get her hands on. More importantly, she hoped that this would be a way of showing Claudia that they were in this together, and that Leena appreciated everything her wife had done for her. She smiled and closed her eyes, giving into the nap that was making her mind turn into fog. Absolutely fucking everything.