A/N: Okay, um. Hi. I guess this is where I go state that this is the first serious piece of writing I've ever made in my entire life. I mean, I have my roleplaying experience to ensure that my writing isn't... well, terrible... but this idea was sitting in my mind for some time now and it was begging to be written. Oh, and let it be noted that English was never my first language. So if there are any errors, grammatically or otherwise, please don't hesitate to point them all out to me. Thank you! :)

This is inspired by the many wonderful self-inserts out there, though not necessarily from this fandom alone.

Chapter One

Little Rowan was, in her mother's eyes, very much unlike her twin brother.

It honestly shouldn't have surprised Serena so much. Robin might have been the ideal baby for a first-time parent like her, always quiet and always sleeping, but just because Rowan had the tendency to be more difficult to handle than her brother with her constant crying, that shouldn't mean that there was something wrong with her daughter. For the gods' sake, she was just a baby that was born several minutes after her brother. It was perfectly natural that her twins didn't share the same personality, even if they already shared almost the same appearance.

And besides, some babies did cry a lot. It was normal, though mildly annoying at times. Yet…

Yet…

There was no denying that there was something about her little girl that bordered on unsettling. And it shamed her to think that whenever she cradled her daughter in her arms.

Plainly put, it felt wrong. Very wrong, even if she and her brother were conceived for an entirely different reason. And to think! Once, she hadn't been too keen on becoming a parent—she thought having to raise even a single child was too much trouble. Never in her entire life had she even wanted to imagine herself a mother. The only reason why she allowed him to lay with her, on one fateful night, was because she believed that all she did, she did for Grima. And that she didn't have a death wish. After all, to deny the leader of the Grimleal could have meant swift death.

But, apparently, all it took was her pregnancy to change everything. It changed her. And it bothered her so, so much that Rowan, whom by all appearances was a perfectly normal baby, was the child she tended to be more unnerved with. How was it possible to love and fear a baby at the same time?

Rowan didn't even possess the Mark of Grima, which would have indicated what kind of role she was going to play in the future. It was quiet Robin who possessed it, yet he seemed to be the more normal baby between the two. She regretted to admit that she felt much more at ease with Robin than she ever would with Rowan.

Still, she wasn't about to abandon the child just because of some things that didn't sit in well with her. She would raise the girl alongside her brother, and she would ensure that their lives went relatively well.

"Serena."

Her thoughts were then interrupted as she heard the door of her chambers creak open, the voice of a man she (unfortunately) knew all too well following soon after. For a moment, she could have sworn she saw a flash of fear, of awareness, on Rowan's face as she set her down on her crib. But no, she must have been hallucinating, because a pair of innocent, amber-colored eyes were all that greeted her when Serena looked at the infant again.

I am simply tired, that's all. Today is stressful like all other days. Serena shook her head and turned to respectfully greet the newcomer.

"Lord Validar. Is there something you need of me?" She asked. She made sure that her eyes were downcast and her tone of voice absent of her usual confidence. It wouldn't do to gain his ire; once was enough. She still bore some of the scars up to this day.

"Only to inquire about the children. I believe it's been half a year since they were born." Validar said. He was a tall, lean, and dark-skinned man, and his dark eyes held no warmth as he regarded her and the twins resting on their large crib. She felt cold all of a sudden. "There truly is no mark on the girl?"

Serena remembered spending her first few months worrying that the purple eyes might surface somewhere on the baby's body. Each day was a challenge to complete. Thank the gods that her daughter wasn't Grima's avatar, because she wouldn't know what to do if that ended up being the case. Rowan was a strange baby, but she wouldn't dare wish her to share Robin's fate.

"No, milord. Only the boy is fortunate enough to possess the Mark of Grima." She replied. Fortunate, indeed. The word tasted like poison on her tongue.

But, she had no choice but to keep up her charade of the subservient, faithful Grimleal follower. Validar had ensured that she never stepped out of line, ever again.

"Pity."

She knew that he never really cared about the girl—not when there was Robin to fulfill his dreams. In Validar's eyes, Robin wasn't a huge disappointment like his sister. He was destined to be possessed by the Fell Dragon and bring destruction upon the world. And she... she'd been a fool once, to have thought that there was nothing about this world worth saving. An even bigger one to have believed all those honeyed words that Validar told her, just to get her to join his side.

"I'm fairly certain she'll still be a good addition to the Grimleal, though." She said, and hated herself for it. "She has your blood in her veins."

Validar focused his attention towards Rowan, approaching the crib and peering over it. For a moment, Serena could have almost sworn that the baby was purposely avoiding his gaze. The girl was currently poking her sleeping brother in the cheek and seemed like she was making tremendous effort not to look anywhere else. Thankfully, little Rowan didn't cry again—she always did when Validar was around.

Really. It was just coincidence. Coincidence. Rowan tended to cry because of some other reason, not because she was deathly afraid of Validar and was completely aware of his chilling presence. And Plegia was just not the most ideal place to raise children, that's all. It was too grim an environment, too bleak for a child.

Yes, that was it. Should be it.

But deep down, she might have thought that that was not it.

"I think I could make good use out of her, yes," Validar finally said. "It would probably be a waste to kill the brat when she'll someday be a good weapon against those who oppose us. I suppose she'll be vital in keeping Grima's vessel in line."

Sometimes, she just couldn't believe how he could easily treat his children as nothing more than tools to achieve his goals. Something inside Serena threatened to snap, to make her want to scream at the man and insist that Robin deserved a much better life than the one Validar was preparing for him. But she pushed her anger deep down where she couldn't reach it. Because, even if she'd grown to loathe Validar, she was still frightened of him.

She'd seen how he dealt with any obstacles in his way. She'd seen the power he possessed—and she knew that he deliberately showed it to her, revealed what he was capable of if she decided to cross him. But I'm getting close to having enough of all this, damn the consequences.

"I… see."

"Hmph, your tone implies that you do not see, still." Validar then returned his sharp gaze towards her. Serena fought down the urge to clench her hand into a fist. And hit him with it, over and over until the skin on her knuckles split open and the face before her was broken beyond recognition. "We've already discussed this before. So stop doubting. It is a great honor to be the woman who bore the son who would signal Grima's return. You will see what I mean in the years to come."

She desperately wanted to retort that it was ridiculous how they were all worshiping a dragon that only sought to destroy the world. But when she finally looked at Validar…

The fire inside of her was instantly snuffed out. Gods, it would take her another lifetime before she could forget how Validar had cruelly butchered her family for attempting to go against him. He'd taken great care to ensure that she saw their headless remains; she hadn't attempted to undermine him ever since. But her children had given back some of the courage she'd lost over the past few months…

And maybe all hope wasn't completely lost just yet.

"As you say, milord. I'll give it some more time to sink in." It was all she could say, and she knew how hollow she'd sounded just then. But inwardly, she decided then and there that maybe there was something she could do to ensure her children's safety. It would take some planning, but… she remembered being a tactician of sorts during her years of adolescence.

"Good. Continue to raise them. I'll return to check back on their… progress, on a later date."

He then turned away and departed, leaving her glaring at the now-closed door.

I hate you. I hate you, and one day I'll be able to get out of your hair.

When Serena let out a shaky breath and looked at her children, eyes shining with angry tears, she could have sworn that Rowan was staring back at her in sympathy.

One chance, one opportunity, one night. If she screwed this up, she was never going to get out of here.

Oh, she'd waited months for this. She'd spent each day hoping for that particular window to open, so that she could jump through it and run away without looking back. And now her patience was rewarded, because the circumstances brought before her suited to her tastes.

She wasn't really sure where Validar had gone to. She wasn't sure if that was merely a trap for her, either. But this was the first time in seven months that he was truly away. She wasn't about to pass this up, and she was going to get herself and the children away from here, once and for all. She'd had enough of Validar, of this whole Grimleal business, of having to be continually manipulated by that bastard. Tonight was going to be her night, and she aimed to be several miles away from here before anyone noticed that both mother and children were gone.

Times like these, I'm thankful that the Grimleal stick to a schedule. There was a monthly ritual of sorts that the group of fanatics did, late into the night. She hadn't bothered knowing what exactly they did, but she knew that they would be distracted for quite a while. It was the best opportunity she could ask for.

Her footsteps were light, quiet, as she made her way towards her children's chambers. The dark hallway ensured that no one would be able to spot her, should someone be around anyway. She softly pushed the wooden door open, careful not to make its hinges creak, and slipped into the room. She made a beeline for the large cradle. Hope bloomed inside her as she bent to pick up her sleeping babies, but then—

Serena froze.

Rowan was not in her cradle.