A/N: Hello, dear reader! I've only recently started watching Hannah Montana, but I became an instant fan and immediately saw great fan fiction potential! I've been writing various fan fics for years, but this is the first story that I felt was good enough to post online. I hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana or any of the characters in this chapter. I own a jar of Vaseline, but not the rights to the product.
Chapter 1: Purple Cake and Glitter
"It didn't just walk off by itself!" Miley Stewart exclaimed. Exasperated, she rifled through the medicine cabinet, but to no avail. Poking her head out of the bathroom, she shouted, "Dad, where did the Vaseline go?"
"It's out here," he called back.
What the heck is the Vaseline doing there? Miley wondered as she walked down the hall to the kitchen.
"It's right there on the counter," her dad said, gesturing with the spatula in his hand. As usual, Robbie Ray was cooking something. This time it was a patriotic angel's food cake in honor of the Fourth of July. "Jackson left it there this morning, muttering something about being a lousy substitute for shampoo."
"Shampoo?" Miley asked incredulously. "What in the world was he thinking?"
"Bud, it's your brother. You ought to know by now that answers to questions like that are never pretty."
"Too true," Miley sighed. Shaking her head, she picked up the small plastic jar and took it back to the bathroom. She streaked a little bit of the petroleum jelly across each cheek; then she wiped off her fingers and dipped them in a mixture of red, silver, and blue glitter, which she spread over the Vaseline.
Out in the kitchen, the phone rang. Robbie answered it, and hung up seconds later, hollering, "Lilly landing in five…four…"
Miley entered just in time to witness her best friend Lilly come rolling in on a skateboard. Miley quickly jumped out of Lilly's path, nearly spilling the glitter she was carrying. After living in Malibu for nearly three years, Lilly's dramatic entrances had become part of daily life in the Stewart household.
Lilly hopped off the skateboard and took a seat at the island in the middle of the kitchen. "Hi, Mr. Stewart! What's cooking?"
"A Fourth of July original!" he said, doing a Vanna White impression to show off his finished product.
"Just wondering, Dad," Miley said hesitantly, "but why is it purple?"
"Well, the red food coloring and the blue food coloring sort of ran together. I was kind of hoping no one would notice." He smiled sheepishly.
"Don't worry; purple cakes are the norm here in Malibu! It will blend right in," Lilly fibbed, trying to be helpful.
Just then, Miley and Lilly's other best friend, Oliver, strolled through the open door. "Hi guys," he said. "Whoa! A purple cake!"
The girls burst out laughing, and Robbie scratched his head. "Maybe I'll just try for red and blue ice cream," he mused.
As Miley and Lilly calmed down, Oliver wondered, "What did I say?"
"Nothing," Lilly said, catching her breath.
"You just have impeccable timing," Miley informed him, swiping Vaseline and glitter on Lilly's cheeks.
Oliver grinned. "Why, thank you. It comes naturally to Smokin' Oken, just like my good looks, wit, sense of style…"
Lilly eyed his red and white striped polo shirt and denim shorts. "For someone who thinks so highly of his style, you look an awful lot like Where's Waldo," she laughed.
Miley picked up the container of glitter. "Let's give him a little more…sparkle!" she said mischievously.
Oliver raised his eyebrows. "Oh, no you don't!" he exclaimed, stepping backwards and crossing his pointer fingers into an X, as if to ward off miniscule, demonic pieces of colored foil.
Lilly and Miley advanced, and Robbie could see that the situation was bound to end badly, at least for his kitchen. "New rule: All glitter fights must take place outside!" he decreed, and sighed with relief as the three kids raced out the back door. "Best of luck, Oliver!" he hollered after them; then he turned back to the purple cake. "How do I fix you?" he wondered.
- - - - -
"Look at me; I'm like a walking disco ball!" Oliver complained, frantically brushing glitter off his face, shirt, and arms. "Whenever I move, I can see the sparkles!"
"Poor baby," Miley said sarcastically. "Are you afraid of a little glitter?" She and Lilly were thoroughly coated as well, having backed off only after the container got knocked out of Miley's hand and its contents scattered everywhere.
"Accept your sparkly fate, Oliver," Lilly suggested. "We're not going to be able to scrape any more of this off than we already have. Now come on; I want to get to the beach!"
"Fine," he sighed. "But this is all you guys' fault!"
Miley grinned. "We know." She and Lilly each grabbed one of Oliver's arms and dragged him down the road in the direction of the shore.
When the three friends arrived, they had to weave their way through huge crowds of people. In addition to being a holiday, it was a sweltering afternoon, and the beach was the most popular place to be. Miley, Oliver, and Lilly immediately headed to Rico's, where they knew Miley's older brother Jackson would be working.
As they approached the small, cabana-style building, they could see someone dressed in an elaborate Uncle Sam costume, looking profoundly out of place among the surfboards and palm trees.
"I'm sure glad I'm not wearing that," Oliver said, pointing at the patriotic figure, which was currently facing away from them. "That would be way worse than being all glittery!"
"You'd have to be absolutely nuts to wear that in this heat," Lilly added.
Miley nodded. "Even my brother is smarter than that!"
Upon hearing Miley's voice, the Uncle Sam whirled around. "Smarter than what?" he demanded. It was Jackson.
The irony was perfect. The three friends tried desperately to not burst into laughter.
"Jackson," Miley said, struggling to maintain her composure, "you look ridiculous. Why on God's green earth are you wearing that?"
The older boy rolled his eyes. "Another one of that thirteen-year-old monkey's brilliant ideas to humiliate me," he said, pointing to the sign hanging around his neck. It read, "I want YOU to eat at Rico's!"
"At least you only have two more days here," Miley reminded him.
"Then we're off to Europe!" Lilly squealed.
Jackson grinned cockily and nodded. "And all the European chicks can finally have what they've been waiting for!"
Miley smacked him. "You're so shallow, Jackson!"
Oliver snorted cynically. "Trust me, I'll be the one the girls will be after. I may look like Waldo, but at least I don't have a bushy white beard and a red, white, and blue top hat!"
Jackson looked the younger boy up and down. "But you're covered in glitter," he pointed out.
"That's not his fault," Lilly piped up. "And between glitter and a beard, I'd choose the glitter. A beard would get in the way of kissing." She paused, and everyone raised their eyebrows in surprise. "Not that I'd want to kiss Jackson or Oliver!" she clarified hastily. "No offense, guys; I love you, but…ew!"
"I agree," Miley said. Then she turned to her brother. "Now, Uncle Sam, how about some frozen lemonades?"
A/N: I'm sorry if this chapter was a little slow. The conflict really begins in the next installment. Thanks for reading! Please review; I can't wait to hear what you think!
StepInTime