-1The White Puzzle (A Mello and Near short story)

I watched him walk away without a word. The cold rain falling over the world around us. I couldn't cry. I couldn't do anything. All I could do was stand there as everything around me seemed to break apart. This puzzle would never be finished. The pieces were too scattered and the ones I had managed to find, after much searching, just would not fit. Maybe it was meant to be--despite my experience, despite all the hard work I put into everything in life--maybe---maybe-----

I couldn't accept the fact that there was something in this world, in this puzzle, that I could not finish--could not solve. And what made matters worse was that guy. That guy who was disappearing right before my very eyes. The same person who had always been around. Sure, he had never been the first person I would call my friend, but his presence--just him being there as we grew up together in the orphanage-- I had never had any friends.

However,...talking to him, even if it was just about school or homework or how much he hated me, I still felt---

"M-me--" The name caught in my throat. There was so much that I wanted to tell him. So much I still wanted to ask him. I took a step forward; again I attempted to say the name. "Me--" Please don't leave. Please don't disappear from my life. So much did I want to say those words to his face. So much did I want to grab his chocolate out of his hand, throw it aside and tell him how I felt. But I knew that my pride would only get in the way. And to come out like that--he would certainly just glare at me, saying that it was only a plan to get his guard down and walk away.

"One day I will surpass you. You won't be number one forever Near."

It was always the same with him. The want to surpass me-- The desperate addiction to the drug of perfection---. Maybe the truth was that grades were the only important thing in life. Maybe that being the best at something meant more to him than just being better than everyone else. Maybe, the constant ideal of him being the foolish one was only alive in my perception of him to drown out my own foolishness.

Was it too late? Had I waited too long? Just when I thought that disparity could never exist within me, I was struck down by it. The very thing I had learned to seal away. And now, all the emotions that had taken the place of all my toys and trinkets--the same emotions I had locked within that toy chest in the corner of my room, were now drowning me. My thoughts flew back to Whammy House. Back to my toys and puzzles scattered along the playroom floor and how, each day, I would engulf myself in their company. The toy chest empty, it's contents bare. Oh, how I longed to go back. Back to the studies, the hard work, the constant nagging from him-- Could I just let him go like this? Was it possible for me to walk away from an unfinished puzzle, never being able to see the finished picture? But that was just it; I never could see the full beauty of my puzzles. I would always turn them over and, piece by piece, the white masterpiece would grow. Always the same. It's blank surface reflecting nothing. And like a fool I had let myself be engulfed by that blank surface; let myself become it---

"Mello" Like the rain around me, my tears fell unrelenting. That name. It hung in the air for a second before it was carried off by the cruel wind. "Please don't go. Please don't leave me alone." I faltered and fell. My knees betrayed me and I felt the cold concrete beneath me. Despair. Hopelessness. Abandonment. These feelings washed over me and overtook my rationality; engulfing me, drowning me. How could the rain, which washed away the corruption of the world, be so unforgiving?

"You cry worse than a girl. I thought for sure the great Near would have more dignity."

That voice. That cool and determined demeanor. Looking up, I was met with the most comforting sight. There he was. The same guy, who I had just witnessed disappearing before my very eyes, was staring back at me. Standing in front of me as he always had.

"You're--But I thought you--"

"Were leaving?" He replied. "I was."

"Then why did you come back?"

He smiled at me. Something he never did. Something that no one had ever seen him do with such kindness. It wasn't cold or evil at all. I could feel my cheeks grow hot and hastily looked down at the ground, wet with rain.

"Why?"

"Because you asked me too. That's why." He sighed, attempting to regain his contempt. "You cry and just like always you think only about what you want. You can't expect someone to always be there for you 24/7. But you do. No matter how high your grades are. No matter how much you distance yourself from the people around you, you always want someone standing behind you."

Those words struck me so deep that my head bolted up. Our eyes met and in his eyes I could see something that I had never witnessed before.

"We're all afraid of being alone." He continued. "And during our time at the orphanage I hated you because you always were alone. I always thought it was because you thought you were better than everyone else. That just because you were always at the top of the class, you thought that you reined superior to everyone." His voice trailed off and allowed nothing but the sound of the rain to break the silence. What was he saying? Or rather, what was he trying to say? He hated me. I had known that since our first meeting, but why was he being so hesitant about it now?
Suddenly, I was pulled into a strong embrace. My heart pounded and the shock of this sudden sensation cast my emotions into a sea of confusion. I tried to look up at him but he held me tighter.

"But...I realize...that no one wants to be alone. Not forever. I realize that now. And I want to be that person who stands with you. I want you to let me be that person. I know that even the great Near needs something more than toys in his life."

What? He wanted to be there for me. Mello. The guy who, throughout my entire life, had thought of me nothing but a nuisance and a rival now was revealing things to me that I never would have imagined could come from him. But even so, I found that I could do nothing more than smile awkwardly. How was I supposed to react to this?

"Let's go home." Mello said, pulling me out of my thoughts and helping me to my feet. Then, taking my hand, he lead me along the sidewalk, back to the Whammy House orphanage.

It was in that moment that everything hit me with such a force that I felt as if I was just waking up to my life for the first time. The last piece. The final piece to the puzzle that I had been searching for--. It had been right under my nose the entire time and like the fool I was, I had mistaken it for something else. Now, I could turn the puzzle over. Now, the vibrant image with it's breathtaking colors was staring back at me, leaving me speechless. As I walked down that street on that rainy day, I found myself, for the first time, able to see more than what was there and it made me happy. For the first time in my life, the white puzzle was no longer blank and the image that appeared held more beauty than words could ever describe.

(End)