Monday Mornings
Disclaimer: Not mine!
The alarm sounded loudly. Again. This was the third time it had went off. The third and final time. Which meant the insistent ringing would not stop until someone physically turned it off. Or smashed it into tiny little pieces. And in that particular moment in time Erin was really hoping for the latter.
Ever so slowly she pushed herself up off the bathroom floor. Her head spinning, her stomach flip-flopping. She was fighting off the urge to throw up for the fifth time or maybe it was the sixth, she wasn't sure anymore. She had to make it to the alarm clock before her sanity went down the toilet with the rest of her.
Steading herself on the rim of the toilet she reached for the vanity pulling herself into a standing position. The entire room was spinning. A glance in the mirror told her she looked as awful as she felt. Her hair an absolute mess, her eye makeup smudged, her skin as pale as a ghost.
Once she opened the bathroom door she noticed that the ringing had stopped. Her oldest daughter was placing the now silent nuance back on the night stand. Grace was all of fifteen. Her long blonde hair still wet from the shower. "Mom?" she called out.
Erin quickly wiped at her eye makeup. She wanted to look presentable. Less of a mess. An impossible task at that given moment. "Yes, dear?" she asked from the doorway.
"You're alarm clock has been going off forever. Didn't you hear it?" she asked, turning to face her mother. "Oh my God." she breathed out. "Mom?!"
"Don't yell, Grace." her hands automatically went to her temples. "Please don't yell."
She has seen her mom like this before. But only a handful of times. It wasn't a pleasant site and one she thought she would never have to see again. Her mother had promised her sobriety. And looking at her mother now Grace had never been so disappointed. "I can't believe this!" she was beyond angry. "How could you do this?" she asked her. "I thought you got help? Went to rehab or whatever."
Dizziness washed over her like a tidal wave and she steadied herself against the doorjamb. "Grace..."
"No!" she said, firmly. "I've heard enough apologies. You said things were going to be different."
"Things are going to be different."
Grace crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes filled with unshed tears. "How could you do this? To yourself? To us?"
Erin held her hands up in failed gesture to gain her child's silence. "Calm down a minute, Gracie."
She shook her head, almost violently. "I can't calm down." she told her. "And you have no right to ask me to."
"It's not what you think!" Erin practically yelled at her.
"Really?" the teenager countered as she headed for the door. "Because I'm pretty sure I know what a hangover looks like. Especially on you."
Erin grabbed her daughter by the arm to halt her. "I've been sober for a hundred and seventy three days." she told her. "I have not been drinking."
Grace sighed, jerking out of her mother's grasp. "You really expect me to buy that you have the flu or something?"
She shook her head. "I don't have the flu either." she answered, honestly.
"Then what's your excuse then, mom?" she questioned. "Because I'm sure you have one."
Erin's stomach seesawed again and she bolted for the bathroom. Just when she thought she couldn't possibly have anything left to throw up.
Grace was quick on her mother's heels. Pressing a cool wet cloth to her mother's forehead when Erin finally slumped back against the wall. "Are you okay?"
She placed her hand over the cloth. "I will be." she breathed out. "Eventually."
She studied her mother. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?" she asked, rising to her feet. "I have to get ready for school, you know. So just tell me whatever you're going to tell me so I can go."
Erin looked up at her daughter. Green eyes locking into brown ones. "I'm pregnant."
"Pregnant?" her voice was suddenly high pitched. "How...when...are you sure?"
"Mmm." she sighed, closing her eyes to try and force the dizziness to stay at bay. "I'm pretty sure. And as for the how, I'm sure you know. And about ten weeks."
Grace sat down next to her mom. "This was a surprise, right?"
Erin chuckled softly. "Most definitely." she answered. "Having a baby at forty three was not in my plan."
"But are you...you know...happy?"
"I'm still coming to terms with it." she admitted. "But happy is a good word. I was going to tell you kids in a few weeks."
Grace reached for her mother's hand. "I'm sorry I jumped to the wrong conclusion..." she started.
Erin interrupted her. "No apologies needed." she assured her, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "If I were in your position I would have thought the same thing too."
Silence lingered between them.
"So." Grace breathed out. "Agent Rossi, huh?"
"Yeah." she replied. "Agent Rossi."
"Nice." she grinned. "You went for the famous, rich guy."
She laughed. "Something like that."
"So he's going to be around?" she asked. "For the you and the baby?"
"No." she answered. "David's going to around for all of us. Not just me and the baby."
"You going to get married?"
Erin smiled, slightly. "Perhaps."
"You're not setting a very good example here, mom." Grace teased. "Knocked up and unmarried. You should know better at your age."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." she replied. "You need to get ready for school." she reminded her. "I wouldn't want you to be late."
"So this is just our secret?" she asked. "Yours and mine? And David's I guess."
She nodded. "For a few more weeks."
"I love you, mom." she told her. "And regardless of what you say I'm still sorry about earlier."
"I know you are, baby." she replied. "Everything's okay though. Learning to trust is a long, hard process. Just know that I love you and Dashiell, and Olivia, and this baby more than anything else in the world."
"So things really are going to be different."
"They are." she confirmed. "We'll talk about this more tonight." she promised. "Get moving though we can't all be late this morning."
Grace nodded. "I'll see you this evening then." she pushed herself up off the bathroom floor. "Try not to throw up anymore."
"I can't make any promises."
Finished.