Summary: Set in "Stronger, Faster." What happened in those few seconds between Bumblebee activating the Ground Bridge and Ratchet tackling Bulkhead? Why didn't Bee try to stop the obviously deranged medic? Or better yet, what stopped him from doing so? Ratchet on synthetic energon is no fun for anybody, especially with the youngest teammate.
A/N: So, I was watching the scene where Ratchet tortured the 'Con into giving up Megatron's location and I was thinking about the interaction Ratchet could have had with Bee. Here's my go at what possibly happened. All the comm.-link frequencies are open so Bee knows what's going on and has heard the "conversation" prior to activating the Bridge. Also, I left the ending kind of open for Season 2 and I hope it's somewhat satisfying since it's ambiguous. Actually now that I read this again, I'm not all that satisfied with what I wrote. :P Oh well...
"Bumblebee, activate the Ground Bridge." With a small nod, the scout locked onto his comrades' coordinates and pulled the lever. The Ground Bridge activated, filling the base with its familiar green hue. Usually, Bumblebee found its appearance calming, but after the argument he overheard, he couldn't appreciate it as much.
What Ratchet said had really hurt. What he had done was almost worse. Combined, they hit Bee's spark hard. He wished he could have been there when Ratchet mentioned Cliffjumper. He wanted to comfort Arcee and scold Ratchet for bringing up such a sore subject. He wanted nothing more than to lock Ratchet in a room and let the synthetic energon burn itself out of his system. It had to wear off eventually.
Even under its influence, Bumblebee didn't know if he had it in him to forgive the medic for his actions. Ratchet had tortured another bot. It didn't matter if the victim was a Decepticon, he committed torture and Bumblebee heard every second of it. Every agonizing wail his audio receptors captured reminded the youngling of what Megatron had done. It was as if he were back on Cybertron, the events of Tyger Pax replaying in his processor. Every scream, every scraping sound of metal on rock, every shout...it all came back to him.
Bumblebee wanted nothing more than to curl up like a sparkling and click and leak from his optics. He wanted to lock himself in his room, tear out his audio circuits, erase his memory of the incident; anything to get the sounds and feelings of torture out of his head. He could almost feel the pain well up in his voice modulator, his screams of agony echoing across the planet. When the sounds stopped, he couldn't help but thank Primus that the ordeal was finally over.
But the fear was still there. The worst part was that Bumblebee knew he would connect that fear to Ratchet now. He hated himself for that.
Before any thoughts of self-loathing could set in, Optimus Prime's voice ended the reverie. The argument that took place had Bumblebee too intrigued and angered to pay attention to his trauma any longer. As soon as Ratchet mentioned Cliffjumper, he knew it would all go downhill.
So here he was now, waiting for Ratchet to make his appearance through the swirling vortex of the Ground Bridge. Bumblebee saw the silhouette approaching, but was caught entirely off-guard when Ratchet punched him hard enough to send him into the opposite wall. He managed to get into a sitting position as Ratchet ran back through the Bridge, leaving him behind.
"Ratchet, what are you doing?" Bumblebee beeped desperately, trying his best to stand. Before the scout could do anything else, a large comm.-text entered his communications databank. It automatically opened once received.
"I'm doing you all a favor," Ratchet had replied, "I'm eliminating the Decepticon threat. You're a smart youngling Bumblebee; you should have figured that out on your own. We've already suffered enough loss; it's time to take the battle to the Decepticons. I'm tired of waiting. We need to act now. Waiting destroyed Cybertron. Waiting killed Cliffjumper."
"You have no right to talk about Cliff like that," Bumblebee growled, "especially not to Arcee." He was tempted to add "and me" onto the end of his sentence.
"If I'm not mistaken, 'Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.'" Now the medic was just taunting him, using long ingrained principles against him.
"Ratchet, be reasonable. That wound is still fresh. Give it time because I don't think any of us are ready to even think about attacking the 'Cons."
"I am being reasonable. Action is the only option left."
"No, it's not!" Bumblebee answered, "This is going to put lives at risk, lives that had no say in the matter! You could be threatening hundred, thousands, millions, or billions of human lives and however many other species reside on this planet! This is the only home we have left, the last place we could possibly turn to. If we lose it because of some stupid mistake, I'll never forgive myself or the one who set such a plan in motion. Please Ratchet, this isn't you, just take a moment to think and-" Before he could finish, another message came.
"Take a moment? Are you kidding me? Waiting is not the answer Bumblebee! How many times do I have to say it before it gets into that thick procesor of yours? Did waiting save you from the cold servos of Megatron? No, it didn't. In fact it had the adverse effect, I should know since I repaired you." Bumblebee felt the anger and shame grip his spark. Part of him knew it was true, but the other half was repressing the former thought. Was it because he didn't want to accept the truth? Did he actually believe that that had been the best course of action? He really didn't know the answer to either question. Leaning heavily against the wall, he composed his reply.
"You know, if I hadn't 'waited' as you so pleasantly put it, the AllSpark would have been lost to Megatron. That's a worse fate than me ending up with a slagged voice modulator!" His frustration was barely contained. That was very rare and could go from bad to worse very quickly.
"Well, maybe if you didn't complain about it so much, I would have actually believed your statement!" Ok, now that was pushing it too far! Bumblebee's optics narrowed in anger as he wrote another text.
"When do I fragging complain about it? Huh, Ratchet? I regret that some of our human allies can't understand me, but I have never gone to you or anyone else to complain about it! You don't know what you're talking about!"
"Of course I do. I've heard you trying to use it before. I've heard your little beeps and whirs and whatever else you do. I can see it in your optics. You imply it daily. Well, face the facts Bumblebee: you're never getting your voice back."
Those words struck him hard. He tried not to think about it, holding onto the hope that one day, his voice could be fixed. That one day, he could talk to Jack and Miko or argue with Agent Fowler over something quite trivial, or maybe ask June about human culture. But now...
"No, no you're lying to me Ratchet." Bumblebee responded, slumping to the ground, "You told me with time, you could fix it. You said-"
"Well, newsflash: I lied. I lied to make you feel better. You should have figured it out by now Bumblebee. You're mute and you're going to remain mute for the rest of your lifestream. Don't act like a spoiled sparkling, face it like a grown mech and deal with it!" With that text, Ratchet had done the unthinkable.
Bumblebee off-lined his optics before sending another message.
"Ratchet, I know this isn't you. I-I'm not going to stop you...just..." Bumblebee had no clue of what to say. The medic broke him. He broke his trust.
"Whatever, I'll contact you again once I'm finished with Megatron. Wish me luck, not that I'll need it." After that curt reply, Bumblebee blocked off all communications from the others and sat in the corner, just like a sparkling.
He was broken, useless. What good was a bird that couldn't sing?
Once his repairs were done, Ratchet walked down the hall to a certain youngling's room. Upon his return to base, Bumblebee locked himself in there and hadn't let anyone come in, not even Raf. That was nearly a week ago and nothing had changed. Everyone had tried to coax the young mech out of hiding, but he wouldn't respond to any of their efforts. The closest success they had was with Optimus and even then Bee still confined himself to quarters. Ratchet knew he was the one at fault, so he had to set things right. With a sigh, the medic approached and knocked on the door.
"Go away..." Bumblebee beeped through the door, sadness evident in his tone. His beeps were transmitted at a lower frequency than normal, expressing his melancholy mood. Ratchet's optics were downcast, knowing exactly why the youngling was like this.
"Bumblebee, it's me," he said quietly, "I...wanted to talk to you." The door opened slightly, only one of Bee's optics showing through the crack. It was dimmer than Ratchet had ever seen it, a sign of just how depressed Bumblebee was at the moment.
"On or off the energon?" the youngling asked wearily.
"Off, I'm never using it again. At least, until I've refined it enough for proper usage." Bumblebee seemed to relax slightly, but still watched Ratchet carefully.
"Good." was the scout's quick response. He was about to close the door, but the medic spoke up.
"Bumblebee, I'm so sorry." Ratchet shuttered his optics and shaking his head, "I never meant to say what I did."
"I know, it was the synthetic energon talking. But that's not what I'm upset about." Ratchet immediately knew the consequences of his actions. He'd come to realize them while he was healing, before he could go talk with the youngling. Primus, that was a terrible mistake.
"Ratchet," Bee started, "is it true? Is there really no way to fix my voice?"
"...No, at least…not really," Ratchet said, "I've tried everything, but your modulator was unsalvageable without the right equipment and such resources could only be acquired on Cybertron. There was one other way, but it would have been too risky with Earth technology. You could have off-lined and I didn't want to even chance that." Bumblebee shook his head, disappointed and betrayed above all else. At this point in time, he could care less about his voice. It was the fact that Ratchet lied to him that really hit him hard.
"I wasn't looking for an apology, I only wanted the truth. After years, I finally got it. The only question I have is this: why didn't you tell me before?" Bumblebee looked pleadingly to Ratchet, an action that broke the medic's spark.
"I didn't want you to lose hope. And…I wasn't ready to admit defeat. I want to fix it as badly as you want it back. But there-"
"Ratchet, I've been through the Pit. I've been tortured by Megatron and have lived to tell the tale. Even back then, I could have taken the information. But you lied to me Ratchet, gave me false hope. I don't hate you for it, but...I don't know how I feel right now. I just need to sort out my thoughts." Bumblebee was half facing Ratchet when he noticed the medic's smirk.
"I believe you cut me off Bumblebee," Ratchet stated while smiling, "That was over a week ago. I was speaking in the past tense before. It was considered unsalvageable, but I've had time to think everything over. At first, I was more concerned with how you were fairing and I didn't even think about this new alternative."
"Didn't you just say it was too risky to get my voice back?" Bee asked skeptically. Now he was really slagging confused. The conversation was easy enough to follow but…what just happened?
"No, I thought of something else while I was recovering. I'll need to research it a bit more, but I have an idea."
"I swear, if you're lying-" No, it had to be too good to be true. Wasn't it just a second ago when Ratchet was apologizing for everything? What?
"Please, Bumblebee, believe me when I say I'm not. In fact, I'll tell you about it right now." With a small nod, the medic entered the youngling's room.
A few minutes later, both mechs walked out into the corridor. Bumblebee appeared to be smiling, but a faint trace of fear lingered in his optics.
"So...it could really work?" he asked, checking to see if this was some sort of dream or another lie. But now after the little debrief, that little voice of angst was beginning to ease up as logic took its place. Ratchet had helped raise him ever since he was found in the rubble of the Youth Sectors. The medic had always been there, had always been like a second father to him (the first being Optimus Prime). Family members could trust one another with anything, despite mistakes. That's all it was, a mistake Ratchet made. Now, he was trying to make amends and that was all Bee really needed right now.
"Yes, it could and I'll let you know as soon as possible," Ratchet replied. "It shouldn't take longer than a few Earth days. Just a few quick tests and-"
"Ratchet, I appreciate this, but we need to focus on the 'Cons and what Megatron's planning. Right now, my voice isn't nearly as important." Ratchet could tell Bee was still upset and he never liked to see the young scout so downcast.
"Bumblebee," he started, "I know this will take time, but I want to earn your trust back. And I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for lying to you. Please, if-" Bumblebee cut him off.
"I know, and I forgive you. It seems a bit quick, but I've been thinking a bit too. We'll just call it a mistake and move on from there. Yes, you did hurt me, but you came to fix it and that's all I could have ever asked for. Ratchet, we're family whether you like it or not. We'll both make mistakes and we'll both make up for them. Think about it this way: you didn't resurrect Megatron from the almost undead. So…"
"What do you want me to do about your voice?"
"Let's wait. I have a feeling that things are going to get crazy around here."
"Stop trying to hide it, I know you want to speak again. Soon?"
"Yeah, soon."