Just to clarify, this will be a SasuNaru fic, but the pairing will be a female Naruto and a male Sasuke. Sorry for anyone that disagrees with that, but it's just the way it is folks! I was contemplating making Sasuke the girl in the story, but in all reality, it works better the other way around, and just as a joke, I already think he's got enough going on in the feminine looks department. (Just a joke, please do not kill me oh great Sasuke fan-girls!) Plus, I think Naruto would make a really great girl if you went by a few certain things: his ability to annoy Sasuke (much like all girls do), his preexisting 'relationship' with Sasuke, his bubbly personality, and his desire to get Sasuke to notice him. All factors for the perfect fan-girl.

So, I'm thinking that once I've got the story going where I want it, I'd be happy to take some ideas from readers for filler-chapter topics. I'll be sure to go into later detail on this idea, so stay tuned with the authors' notes. Remember, they aren't always pointless!

Okay, so this story idea has been plaguing my mind for a few days now, so I just decided to write it out and post it to see how it does. I have two really serious stories running rampant through my brain, so I went ahead and made this my kind of 'break story' to fill the time between my more serious works. This is just meant to be a fun fic, so don't expect an overly complex plot. Just some fluff, lemony stuff on occasion when it works into the story nicely, and a good time. Heck, feel free to use this fic as a time killer while you're waiting to read chapter updates of Dignity of a Criminal and Chosen Insanity. Whatever floats your gravy boat, fans of mine!

Read the notes at the end for a few descriptions of things featured in this chapter!

Disclaimer: I doooooo NOT...*swallow*... ownnn... Na-*cough*-ru-*grunt of pain*-to... There, that wasn't so hard.

"What do you mean 'financial problems'? You're joking right? That's terrible man. Well, I'm... Listen Minato, I'm real sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help?" Fugaku pressed his cell phone to his cheek with his shoulder, his head tilted at a strange angle so that he could hear the young man speaking on the other end of the line. "Was... Was it peaceful? She wasn't... In too much pain in the end was she?"

"No, no it wasn't a..." There was a distinct swallow and the sound of a stifled sob on the phone, and Fugaku felt his stone heart start just a bit at hearing his childhood friend, one who was always smiling, always trying to make others happy, and always thinking of his treasured wife, choking back what sounded like a lot of tears at her death. 'He really loved Kushina.'

"She passed during the night at the hospital. There wasn't much the doctors could really do for her, but they did all they could to make her comfortable." Fugaku nodded his head at his friend's words despite the fact he knew his friend couldn't see it.

"How's your daughter handling it?" Fugaku asked, reflecting back on the time when Mikoto had packed her bags and left, leaving him with a 12 year old that looked like he wanted to kill everyone around him while staring at his mother's back, and an 11 year old asking when mommy was coming back. Fugaku hadn't had an answer.

"She's doing much better than I am, that's for sure. She's just been locked in her room for so long, but now that her cell phone is cut and we can't afford to pay for the television or internet anymore, she's been reading a lot. I think that Naruto's just trying her hardest to get rid of anything that would hurt her. You know she's always been a pretty sensitive girl."

"Yeah, I remember. She was always a bit short and pudgy, but had the most adorable smile I've ever seen on a little kid. Reminds me of you when we were younger, except it actually works on her." Fugaku set his phone down on the counter top while he pushed his sleeves up, then put the machine on speaker to continue the conversation. He busied himself around the kitchen, fixing a few small things for dinner while his hired-help cleaned up the outside veranda for supper. It was the least the man could do since those older workers did so much for his family.

"Well ha ha ha, look who's finally got a sense of humor. Didn't know you had it in you to actually make a joke, Uchiha." Fugaku could feel the ear to ear grin that he guaranteed was on Minato's face. Fugaku's lips cracked into the tiniest grin when he heard his friend's laughter.

"Well, if you're having trouble now that you have to pay the hospital back, and you'll have all of the funeral preparations, and not to mention you're down one full income source, I always have room for you to come stay for a while." Fugaku put the knife he'd been using to cut some vegetables down in the polished chrome sink and waited for the sure-fire explosion that was sure to come from the vivacious blonde. However, he didn't expect the loud crack of a can of soda being popped open and the horrified look on his youngest son's face peeking out from behind the pantry door.

Sasuke walked out of the pantry with his grape flavored drink and shuffled up to his father quietly, his look of shock and horror quickly transforming to a scowl. Sasuke shook his head violently mouthing the word 'No' repeatedly. Both dark-haired men glared openly at each other, Sasuke looking down a few inches to stare into his father's eyes. Their was some loud shuffling on the other end of the phone before the sound of someone crying filled the silence of the Uchiha kitchen. Sasuke and Fugaku turned toward the phone, their faces a matching pair of sympathy when they realized that Minato had started bawling.

"You'd really do that for my father and me?" The voice was delightfully high pitched, definitely feminine, and held a torrent of emotion behind the simple wording of her question.

"No! Don't you dare! The last time Minato brought his daughter over here, she was hideous and obnoxious. There is no way you can bring her back her to live with us." Sasuke whispered quietly, his hushed voice hoarse as he strained to keep his tirade quiet. Fugaku reached out, picked up his cellular device, and held the speaker up to his lips.

"As soon as you can pack, I'll send my sons to help you load up a moving truck. Don't you worry Naru honey, I'll take good care of you and Minato. I swear on my honor as an Uchiha."

Fugaku hung up the phone as soon as he heard the watery reply of "I owe you Fugaku," from Minato and an equally teary "Thanks Mr. Uchiha," from Naruto.

There was a buzz on the cell phone as the Fugaku received a text. He messed around on the high tech smartphone, closing a few emails before he moved on to the new message, perfectly aware that Sasuke was still glaring at him from where he was leaning on the refrigerator.

~Come by tomorrow at 3pm with the truck. We don't have much we need to pack.~ Love, Naru.

Itachi walked into the kitchen at the delicious smell of the stir fry that his father was stirring on the stove. He turned to Sasuke and ribbed him with his elbow gently, but just received a glare from the younger boy for his efforts in trying to figure out the cause of the tension in the room.

Fugaku turned to face his two sons, then allowed an almost non-existent, yet visible enough to make both young men flinch in fear, smirk flicker across his lips. "Guess what you boys are doing tomorrow." Sasuke and Itachi turned to each other with worried expressions. Itachi wrapped his arm around the shorter teen's shoulder and patted his head, smiling when his hand was smacked away playfully. Fugaku laughed quietly, then turned back to the dinner preparations, missing the cringe on Sasuke's face at the sound.

"So," Itachi ventured, "what exactly are we doing tomorrow?" Sasuke sighed.

"Inviting a blonde, ugly, bimbo and her father into our house because our father is being charitable for the first time in his life for the sake of an old friend."

"Oh." Itachi looked a little apprehensive. "So the blonde bimbo is ugly? Darn." He just received a rare laugh from his brother and a disapproving scowl from his father. Itachi just rubbed the back of his neck and smiled. "What?"

"So, brother dearest... On what planet is this girl considered ugly, because I think I'd happily sell my soul to be the only man on it for a day." The words were whispered into the younger raven-haired teen's ear, who just grunted quietly in response.

Itachi's eyes followed the young blonde around the room as she busied herself cramming random items that had been left in the otherwise barren room into a cardboard box. Sasuke mimicked his elder brother's actions, his line of sight staying firmly on the sun-kissed skin that would occasionally be revealed each time the orange ruffles on the leggy blonde's miniskirt rose when she bent to pick up something sitting on the floor. When she walked behind the arm of the couch and bent over to pick up a book that was on the hard-wood floor, she missed the two young men behind her subconsciously leaning forward to get a better view.

Naruto walked quickly from the room and out the front door, humming an upbeat J-Pop tune to herself as she loaded the last box into the back of Itachi's sleek muscle car. She leaned back against the hood of the vehicle and fanned herself a bit, kicking her combat boot-clad feet up onto a bag of garbage she'd had a mover dump on the drive way a few minutes ago.

Sasuke swallowed dryly. "I've seen better." He turned away from the show with a will power none of the other men watching her seemed to have. He even noticed when Itachi loosened the tie around his neck just a bit while his eyes were glued to the innocent looking girl. Sasuke snapped his fingers in front of his brothers' face to grab his attention, then leaned back with a smug look when Itachi blushed ever so lightly at having been caught ogling the 17 year old girl.

"Would you guys go ahead and drag the couch out to the front porch? The movers will load it onto the truck in a bit. I want to see my boys!" Naruto's voice drifted into the tiny, two bed, one bath, apartment through the open front door. Itachi and Sasuke carried the couch to the front door, Itachi managing to run Sasuke's back into at least two walls, both times he blamed his 'poor vision', before they had finally gotten the couch placed where Naruto had wanted.

One minute, Sasuke was standing on the wooden porch beside Itachi, then the next he was tackled to the ground on his back with a very curvaceous blonde straddling his waist. Naruto hugged him so tightly that it was a good two minutes before he'd successfully caught his breath afterwards. Naruto put her elbows on his chest and cupped her face with her hands. She dragged a single finger down his chest and shifted a bit on her knees, pressing her weight down on his groin. Sasuke bit his lip when he noticed the innocent smile that lit up her face and the shine in her eyes while she looked down at him. He was in Hell.

Itachi was watching his younger brother like a hawk, jealousy tearing him apart until Sasuke shot him a very pained looked, the sight of which brought a smile to his face. He just crossed his arms, leaned back against the door frame, and watched happily as his brother tried very hard to keep his composure while dealing with his growing predicament.

"It's been so long Sasu! Like what, 8 years? You do remember me right?" Naruto bit her lip and looked down at Sasuke who was slowly sitting up from his position of laying on his back on the hard ground. He looked away quickly when he saw her big, questioning eyes.

"Don't call me that. And, yes. I remember you Naruto." Sasuke kept his voice level, without even a single waver, which had Itachi giving the 17 year old boy respect he'd never tell him about and a mental pat on the back, that is until Naruto started squirming about in every which direction, her arms in the air, her entire being radiating happiness at his curt comment. Itachi didn't miss his brother's eyes rolling back into his head or the incredibly slight buck of his hips. Itachi decided to help the poor kid out.

"Do you remember me, Naruto?" Itachi's voice was velvet; smooth as silk. The young blonde rose to her feet and smiled brightly at him, holding out her hand to the slightly older gentleman who took it by the fingertips and kissed it. Both he and Sasuke were surprised at her suddenly graceful approach, an unseen mischievous gleam in her eye.

"How could I forget 'Tachi?" She leeched herself to him in a tight hug. "Can I have a kiss?" She turned her head to the side, offering him her cheek, to which he shrugged and leaned in to kiss the old family friend. Naruto cupped his cheek in her hand and turned her head suddenly, bringing the surprised Itachi's lips down to meet her own. She suckled on his bottom lip, her teeth nibbling gently, and ran her tongue along the seam of his lips. Itachi groaned quietly, mimicking her actions until his eyes shot open when his mind finally caught on to what he was doing. He pulled away from her, and broke the trail of saliva that connected them as quickly as possible, dragging the back of his hand over his lips to wipe away the spit. She winked at him before walking into the house to find her father.

"I like her." Itachi smiled as he helped Sasuke to his feet, and watched as he dusted his back off.

"She seems slutty to me. And irritating." Sasuke stared into the foyer petulantly, angry at the fact that Itachi hadn't helped him get her off of him sooner.

"Don't worry, she isn't always like this." Itachi and Sasuke jumped when they heard Minato's voice come from behind them, however, they relaxed when they saw the upset expression on his face. "She's always been kind of ditzy and out of it, but she's still very bright." He sounded like the epitome of a proud father. "She went through so much when she was younger, and, well for reasons I'm sure you both know." The image of the overweight, stumpy, young girl with the boy haircut and hand me down overalls came to mind. Sasuke and Itachi nodded. "She's just trying to get you to underestimate her, get a false reading of her character if you will. That's one of her skills. She makes people think less of her, then just blows them away when she actually puts her heart and mind to it. The way she is now, it's kind of a game to test those around her." He looked each young man in the eye before continuing. "Give her a chance lads. Let her get used to you, and she'll come out a bit. Alright?"

Both boys nodded quickly, a small, Uchiha brand smile on each of their faces. "However." Minato's tone was frightening; quiet and calm, yet dealing out the rage of a starved tiger being teased with its dinner. "If I ever catch either of you in either one of the positions I just saw you in with my baby girl while we're living with you, Fugaku will be the first to know." His smiled was kind, and that's what frightened Itachi and Sasuke more than the threat of being turned over to their father, who was the chief of police in the town of Konoha.

"Yes, sir!" Both boys snapped to attention and saluted, finally relaxing once Minato had patted them on the shoulders while on his way inside the house, mumbling a few words of praise to the absent Fugaku for training his kids well. Sasuke sighed in exasperation.

"So, she's not ugly, but she plays her sexuality as a game to mess with guys' heads?"

"Well, at least she's not ugly." Sasuke elbowed his brother in the ribs.

"Sasu-kins! 'Tachi!" Both boys shivered when a finger was dragged slowly down their spines.

Sasuke turned to his brother, ignoring the feminine giggle coming from behind him. "I kind of wish she still was."

"I don't."

. . . . .

End Chapter 1!

1. Okay, so for all of you people who may already dislike Naruto in this story, I guarantee that she does not stay this way. If you found her irritating or slutty of anything of the such, please don't judge me for writing her that way, because she is SUPPOSED to be that way for the time being. Go back to Minato's long explanation if you honestly don't know what I'm talking about. He's way better with words than I am.

2. Alright, so, for my readers of my other works, this one's a bit different. There won't be much violence, or secret plot twists, or tons of drama or anything... I know right... Freaky. The point of this story is to just be light, fun, and lemony for the summer!

3. So, the main pairing is SasuNaru, but there will be a few other, minor pairings in here, and even hints at ItaNaru for fun.

4. Just because I can.

5. So, Sasuke and Naruto are 17, and Itachi is 18 (almost 19 technically.) Fugaku and Minato are old friends from childhood and are very close, and keep in touch, but rarely see each other because of work. Kushina, Naruto's mother, died recently in the story due to a brain tumor, and Mikoto, Sasuke's mom divorced Fugaku several years ago due to him being an alcoholic. It was at that time that Naruto and Sasuke met, because Fugaku went to Minato, who helped him turn his life away from alcohol, which is the reason that Fugaku wasn't hesitant in the least to repay the favor when Minato went into major debt.

6. Sasuke and Itachi first met Naruto when she was at that extremely awkward phase in her life and therefore had an incorrect preconceived thought of what she'd look like, even though they hadn't seen her in 8 years. She turned out to actually be the exact opposite of what she'd been as a child, although she is still rather short. She has long hair that is usually worn down or in a very simple style (ponytail or pigtails). She is almost constantly wearing orange because it's 'the color of summer.' Sasuke and Itachi were wrooooooong about that chick. Just basically imagine the pervy jutsu from the show except, well, she's wearing clothes and... awkward...

7. Sasuke and Itachi have a good relationship? WHAT?! Well, yeah. There was no massacre, and Sasuke often denies his affection toward his brother, but they do actually get along pretty well and often tease each other. I love Itachi! *Sigh*

8. I really hope you all enjoy this good bit of fun! More to come!

Read and Review, because AMB11 loves you ;)