When Bruce comes home with a goofy smile on his face Dick knows something's up.
When Batman comes home with a goofy smile Dick definitely knows something's up.
So later when he tries to ask Bruce about what happened and who he did, insert scold from Bruce and Alfred, he simply dodges the question and remains aloof. Alfred simply states that he has no idea and that he should do some detective work, and after that comment he thinks that maybe Alfred hadn't gotten over the fact that the two people he looked after came home battered and bruised every night from saving the world.
When Bruce comes back home with a dark shade of lipstick on the side of his jaw the hairs on Dick's neck stand up immediately. He knows that shade of lipstick, that's the same shade of lipstick that prowls, literally, around Gotham looking for things to steal.
"Selina. Kyle?" He screamed at Bruce, unable to hold the tibid of information in at dinner, "Seriously Bruce, what were you thinking? She's freaking Catwoman!"
"Who I decide to see is none of your concern, Dick." He said calmly, continuing to munch on his food. Choosing to ignore the faces his young ward was making at him.
…
"Hey, kitten." Selina purred, ruffling Dick's hair thoroughly. With his reaction being a grimace in disgust and annoyance.
"Selina." He said pointedly, giving a stiff nod in her direction.
"Bruce tells me that you've made dinner for us today?" She says rather coyly, noticing his hesitance to start a conversation with her- and she put it down to meeting the girlfriend of your dad thing. Boy, was she wrong.
"It's just you and me," he grits out, "Bruce is at an important meeting and Alfred has a week off. I made you dinner."
She tilts her head to the side and opened her mouth, halfway to saying something and halfway to smiling.
An evil cat smile.
"What did you make then, kitten?" She asks politely, poking at the assortment of yellow and red food in front of her.
He pursed his lips before showcasing a million dollar smile, "Pasta."
She just looks up at him and smiles, showing appreciation and gratitude for trying to make her a nice dinner- and man did he feel guilty and nearly take back what he had done.
Selina took a bite, chewing slowly with a frown on her face.
"What's in the pasta? It's very chewy." She grimaces, swallowing the first bite, repressing the thought of vomiting it back up. Dabbing her mouth lightly with the set out tissue she swallows again, pressing dainty fingers to her throat as a wave of disgust ran through her.
"Rat." He shrugged, keeping a poker face on show, while smirking and rubbing his hands together in and diabolical manner in his head. Clearly satisfied that her immediate reaction was pure and utter shock.
Selina's eyes widen comically and she dashed from the room, trying to find a bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach that she was pretty sure the rat coming back from the dead and crawling up her throat.
That was the last time he had to see Selina Kyle outside of the Catwoman suit, not that she ever found out about their secret. Bruce had later put it down to personal differences that couldn't be helped, which put Dick at rest- assuring him that Bruce had gotten over Selina Kyle without a fuss.
The next girlfriend Dick doesn't like of Bruce's is Vicki Vale. A news reporter for Gotham Gazette, a reporter that had a interest- bordering obsession- with Batman. A quality that was not wanted in women that Bruce would be dating, potential wives, if you will.
So he screams at Bruce again, the tradition 'Are you out of your GODDAMN BATMAN mind?' and the ever so classy, 'You. Are. The. Best. Detective. In. The. World. Why. The. Hell. Can't. You. See. The Goddamn. Warning. Signs?'
After that spectrum of colourful language he gets the 'scolding of his life' and his mouth washed out by Alfred. And no one wanted to piss that Bat off, he was the goddam father of bats. Not that Bruce or Dick would admit it.
After nearly two months of dating the red headed writer, Bruce finally introduces her to Dick. At a charity function. Even though he despised Vale he couldn't help but think that being a date to a charity function was a great way to meet the boyfriend's family.
Serious mood killer.
So when she introduces herself to Dick, holding a hand out in a sign of peace, he eyes her warily and throws her a lopsided smirk, shakes her hand and introduces himself in the richest way he could have thought.
But it gets a little bit weirder when his 'date', who really is some girl from school, who's dad also came to the functions, who clung to him like a sloth to a tree. In her glory, braces, thick glasses and a dress that just fell, Vale started up a conversation with her. Laughing at the stupidest things, and the weirdest of comments such as, 'I think your work on Batman is amazing. It just gives us a whole new perspective on him.'
Dick rolls his eyes lazily and just stands there, knowing very well that Bruce was somewhere monitoring the situation and could see his poor posture and lack of enthusiasm.
And when it's over, after spending two hours with Vale he decides she's okay.
Still on the hit list for 'Robin's scares', but okay enough for Dick Grayson to approve of them dating. Sadly, neither of them knew that Dick Grayson's stamp of approval just wasn't enough.
…
A month later, including multiple secret sabotaged dates, hair removal cream in her shampoo, bugs in her tea, and other things he may just keep to himself, they break up.
Oh. So. Tragically. Sigh.
She was moved by the company to take a full time job in China. It was genius. Sadly he couldn't say he had any say in the final decision to ship her off to the land of Ching and Chong.
And when Dick asks how Bruce is holding up, because really, he is worried (maybe), the older man puts his Batman mask on and pulls an I'm fine. But Dick knows that's just how he is, but he should be wary- Bruce has been proven to have multiple rebound ladies and relationships, or at least that's what the general public thought.
The next time Bruce dates someone it's a complete shock to him, and to Superman.
Lois Lane is a reporter and journalist for the Daily Planet, a Metropolis centered newspaper, a company that was owned by Bruce Wayne. Which is probably how the met.
Dick can't help but assume the role of scolding father as he talks to Bruce.
"What were you thinking?" He said gruffly, doing his best imitation of Bruce, which in all truths, was very accurate.
Something that had freaked Bruce out, maybe even getting to the Batman.
"Lois Lane? Bruce, out of all the women that are willing to throw themselves at you, you choose Lane? The very person who Clark, your friend Superman, is seriously crushing on. And has been for years now." He continues, getting his small lecture out of his system before the Bat could interrupt.
"Some things can't be helped, Dick." He pointed out, defending his decision to take Lois out on a dinner date. "And one day you'll fall for someone that other people may hate you for going out with them, but it's part of life. Learn to deal with it."
And with that he left, leaving a gobsmaked and steaming bird behind.
There would be revenge and hell to pay.
…
A week after Bruce has started seeing Lois he managed to arrange scheduled meeting's with Clark, Superman, all centered around the very public and conflicted relationship that was 'Layne'.
They had mapped out various places they could reach without the Batman's knowledge and spy on their dates, possible sabotage was off the table due to Superman's boy scout 'tude. Sadly nothing happened majorly between the pair, they would go to dinner or a movie and then go to their respected homes.
"It's like their mindless zombies." Robin commented, sitting up on his perch of Gotham, the red and blue clad hero floating behind him. "Sorry, no offence." He apologized, realizing he had just insulted Lois.
"No offence taken." Superman replies lazily, his eyes locked on Lois and her boyfriend.
After that night everyone was better off sticking to the cities they knew.
Long story short, Lois somehow slipped and plummeted down multiple stories, Superman saved the day by catch her and returning her back to Bruce Wayne, who was very worried, and after a heart to heart they broke up, both seeing that a long distance relationship wasn't going to work out between them.
Dick huffed in annoyance and grappled back home, he didn't even get to initiate Plan Reporter. This was so not his prime time for pranks, dry spells weren't a fun thing to have when you were a somewhat hyperactive hero.
Dick had no idea what to think when he was told to stay at the mountain until further notice. He had no idea what to think when Bruce had told him it would be for a long period of time and Alfred wasn't able to look after him because he was visiting family back in England.
But he enjoyed the freedom he had. He would zeta to Gotham and say bye to the inhabitants of the cave, whilst wearing sunglasses, he would attend school as if nothing were wrong- and Bruce was away overseas for a private conference. Then he would return to the cave in civvies, and help M'gann, Conner and Zatanna make dinner.
He would then do homework in a world record time and spend his free hours training or hacking into different computers.
So when Bruce called him in the middle of dinner with his three friends he politely excused himself and walked out of the room, pressing answer as soon as he was out of earshot- even Connor couldn't hear him through the specifically designed walls of the cave.
"Bruce?" He asked, a childlike hope sparking in his voice. "Are you back yet?"
A sigh was heard on the other end, and his hope dropped slightly. "I'm returning in a week." Bruce's gruff reply came from the other side.
"What are you doing?" He cried, "Bruce, seriously. You've spent like three months away with no contact. Not even Alfred has heard from you and you call to say you're coming home in a week. What's going on?" He demanded. Frustrated with how much he was being shut out.
Bruce could hear the desperation and worry in his young ward's voice and relented, "I'm in the Middle-East."
Dick nearly dropped the phone.
"You're with Ra's?" He screamed into the speaker, the volume travelling through and nearly causing Bruce to become deaf. "He's a weird wrinkly immortal, Bruce. If that won't make you stay away I don't know what will!"
It was hard to miss the annoyed sigh on Bruce's side, Dick could just imagine him pinching his the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. "Dick, I wasn't seeing Ra's- specifically."
Surprise.
Dick blinked a few times, his shock reaction hidden by the dark glasses he wore. If Bruce wasn't seeing Ra's specifically, then who was he seeing? Only one person came to mind and he did not want to think about that any time now.
"Talia." He said, not a question but an accusation. "Seriously?"
Silence ensued.
Bruce waited for the scolding and annoyance, that he- once again- let a 'weird and crazy' lady into his life, but it never came. Only the tired voice of a patrol-less boy wonder.
"She's coming back with you isn't she?"
"Yes." Bruce answered.
"Fine. But she better not be trying to brainwash me into joining the shadows, seriously who wants to fight with a sword?" He chuckled before hanging up the phone and returning to dinner in a seriously non-asterous mood.
"Is everything okay, Robin?" M'gann asked, speaking up n behalf of the three friends who were slightly scared and worried for the youngest.
"Yeah. Fine." He said breezily, pushing assassin thoughts from his head. "Batman's coming back in a week, so this is going to be one of the last dinners with you guys."
"That's great!" M'gann cheered, "I bet you'll be happy that he's coming back."
"Sure, just not what he's brining back with him." He grumbled, playing with his mashed potatoes. Not matter how much you tried to help with M'gann's cooking it was not good.
"He's bringing home baggage?" Zatanna slyly grinned, looking at him from the corner of her eyes.
Getting the implication and use of the word baggage he grinned back, "Sure is."
…
One month living with the daughter of the demon was an experience never to be forgotten. She had attended school functions and parent teacher interviews, scaring most of the teachers with her intellectuality and ferociousness.
But he still tended to set up the ol' motion sensors in his room, just to make sure she wasn't sending any shadows to kill him and let Joker take over Gotham. And maybe he didn't just have motion sensors, maybe he had a laser trip wire, spread across the majority of his room, and maybe it was invisible so she wouldn't be able to see it. Again, only a maybe.
"Talia, don't you think that it was a bit of an over reaction?" He stressed out, receiving another letter about a gym class incident.
"You are apparently intolerable and irritating in gym class. You have a reputation to uphold, Richard, and if you don't uphold it then you shall not be permitted to be Robin for a week." She scowled, pointing at the strongly worded letter in her hands.
"It's gym class, only the jocks take it seriously." He defended, waving his hands wildly in the thin air. "Look, Talia, I know it looks bad, but it's just a small thing."
"Tt. If it was a small thing, as you say it is, it wouldn't require a teacher sending home a letter to inform myself and your father about your behavior." She said, narrowing her eyes dangerously at the thirteen year old.
"He's not my dad." He grumbled under his breath.
"You will train harder and write a letter of apology to your teacher." She reprimanded, "and you will need to write up a report on what you had done wrong and why you won't do it again."
His mouth is wide open, and he is seriously debating whether to call Bruce in and sort this out for him. But knowing Talia in the short time she has lived with them, she will stick to this ideal idea of a family and how it should function- almost the opposite of how she had been raised.
So he goes with it, and writes an apology letter to his gym teacher, a report on mannerisms and trains an extra hour each day- but he doesn't tell her he's working on his acrobatics because she would start training with him if he ever did.
…
Five months later they receive the news that Talia is pregnant with Bruce's child. And it shocks everyone. Especially the team, who had since been told his identity, who had never even wanted to think of Batman reproducing.
Just, no.
But really, he is happy.
Family is something that has always been close to his heart, something that will always be close to his heart. So when he is asked to help pick names of course he says yes.
And to be honest, the more he saw of Talia, and her demands, he began to take a liking to her. She was a lot better for Bruce than any other former flames.
Then one day he arrives home from the cave and hears distinct crying and a soothing voice. Recognizing the voices as the two adults in a relationship he didn't barge in and opted to listening, knowing fully well that both of them would know that he was listening in.
So when he hears Bruce calling him into the room he hurriedly gets up and brushes himself off, walking into the room with a worried look plastered on his face.
"What's wrong?" He blurts out, Talia is in Bruce's arms and he has this ferocious protective appearance about him.
It takes a few hiccups ands stutters for Talia to utter out the heartbreaking words, "I had a miscarriage."
And that's when he notices their relationship going downhill, fast.
Talia couldn't deal with the stress of losing an unborn child and Bruce was, well, Bruce.
So she left one month later, but not before saying goodbye to everyone, and he can't help but think she has to stay. Not for him, but for Bruce, who looks like his whole world is leaving him.
When the Team's find out about the occurrence in the Wayne household they crowd around their little bird because they knew that he had started to really like Talia. They knew that Dick was beginning to see her as a mother figure, and that he was beyond excited for the child. So to have it all ripped away wasn't just painful to watch, it was painful to experience.
Only once had they met the daughter of the demon, on a mission before Batman and her got involved.
...
"Talia." Robin said lazily, as if he had done this a thousand lifetimes before.
"Robin, I thought I made it clear to the detective that it wasn't wise for him to send anyone to the island." She said, her voice harsh and fast. Her hair pulled tight in a ponytail and her figure draped in a fashioned Shadow gear, complete with Sword and gun at her side.
"And I thought you knew better than to tell him that." Robin rebuffed, ignoring all the warning signs the Team were sending him through the mind link.
"What has he sent you to do this time?" She sighed, not letting her eyes leave Robin, as if she knew who was behind the mask. And the team were a tad envious that she knew more about the bird than they did.
"None of your business, Talia, why don't you call off your army of airheads?" He says folding his arms over his chest in a threatening way that no one knew how she ignored.
"No stronghold is on the island, this is private property." She seethed, "Leave. You've gotten what you wanted, tell the detective that I'll be in touch."
"Right, well… See you Talia!" He called as he walked through the team to the door, knowing fully well that she was lying and trained assassins were waiting for them.
And the Team follow him into battle, nearly forgetting the meeting with one of the most dedicated people of all time. That is, until they remember and keep bugging the bird about it, who just brushes it all off and continues with his write up of the mission.
...
So they embrace him while he tries to get away and tells them to hug Batman, not him. They ignore that snark and put it down to 'getting used to all of this' deal.
The Team resumes training, where they have been given the privilege to train up in the Watchtower, just because Superboy managed to damage the system last week in a momentary fit of rage.
And Robin smiles when he looks over to his mentor who is embracing Wonder Woman, and smiles to himself, glad that someone that has helped him through so much ordeal will get a happy ending.
He just knew it.
It also didn't hurt that he had a bet going with Superman about Wonder Woman and Batman getting together, but that was a story for another day.