"The Search for POTUS's plot"
By: FLuFFy
Rating: PG13 for some naughty words. You've been warned, kiddies!
NOTES: As always, this is nonsense. I wanted to see how many tv show and movie references I could get into one story. The total number is 30. That is, of course, not counting this introduction because there is no chance of finding a reference in here...or is there? Let the goofy begin...
~~~~
[INT. Big expensive room. 7:00 AM]
CJ: Alright. It's time to brief you all for the day.
SAM: [eyes gleaming in anticipation] Do I get the main plot? Do I? Huh? Huh?
CJ: [giggles hysterically]
SAM: Hey!
CJ: Sorry, Sam. You get the C Plot with a woman who believes vampires are real.
SAM: Oh, come on! I got some crap like that in "The Two Bartlets"!
DONNA: I thought you dealt with that plot rather well. [gives sam a sexy wink]
SAM: Why, thank you. I was going for kind of a...
CJ: Silence! Respect my authority!
LEO: You don't actually have...
[CJ glares at him]
[CJ hands everyone their plots]
JOSH: Sex Plot! Yippeeeeee!
DONNA: B Plot. Damn. At least it's better than Sam's.
[Sam pouts]
TOBY: Angry man spouting facts about the President's past that I shouldn't know. Alright!
LEO: President's confidante. Sounds about right.
CJ: New boyfriend who'll die soon. Yup.
AMY: Shreiking biatch.
CJ: Now onto the next assignment. Sam... Give Josh a dirty look.
SAM: Now? Why?
CJ: Because we have to leave the fans wondering if you two are still friends or not.
SAM: Of course we're friends!
JOSH: ...or possibly more.
SAM: We're extremely close in an ambiguous way!!!
CJ: I'm sorry, we need the glare.
[Sam glares at Josh]
[Josh glares at Sam]
[Sam glares at Josh again]
[Josh glares at Sam again]
[Sam glares at Josh yet again]
[Josh glares at Sam yet again]
25 MINUTES LATER...
[the POTUS enters, dejectedly]
POTUS: Dear God...
CJ: POTUS?
[POTUS stares blankly]
SAM: What's wrong?
POTUS: My plot... It doesn't exist. It's blank!! [shows everyone the paper]
[dramatic pause]
LEO: Oh, dear God, what do we do now?
CJ: Everybody calm down! It's probably just a misprint. Maybe you got Charlie's plot.
CHARLIE: No, mine's got one line on it. [shows it proudly and disappears into thin air]
CJ: Well, we better get started. I'm sure it'll show up.
JOSH: [in between making out with Amy] Yeah...I'm ....ure... arou... here... omewhere.
[everyone leaves and POTUS is alone]
POTUS: (singing) Have you eeeeeeeever heard the wolf crrrrryyy to the blue corn moooooooon...or asked the grinning bobcat why he grrriiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnned?
FLUFFY: Cut it out, Jed. There'll be plenty of references later.
POTUS: Go away, I hate you! [smacks his behind tauntingly]
FLUFFY: See?
POTUS: Oh.
[dramatic pause]
[INT. Oval Office. 8:00 AM]
LEO: Mr. President?
[the POTUS's chair spins around to reveal...]
JOSH: Yes, Leo?
[Leo gasps, and, due to his old age drops dead.]
JOSH: Mwaaaaahahahahaaaaaa! Soon I will be the only character on the show! Except maybe for Sam, cuz we've got that whole unresolved sexual tension thing...
[CJ Runs in]
CJ: He's dead! Noooooooooooo!
JOSH: I didn't realize you two were that close.
CJ: The script said he was to be my next boyfriend. They killed him BEFORE we got together?
[CJ starts to cry]
JOSH: Hey, CJ... How -you- doin'?
["Lets get it on" begins to play]
JOSH: Oh, yeah. I am a god!
[cut to: Hallway. 20 minutes later. That's 8:20 AM, for those of you too lazy to scroll up.]
JOSH: Sam, I'm going to need you to write the speech for tomorrow night.
SAM: Tomorrow...?
JOSH: The meeting with Mothers Opposed to the Occult. Tell me you didn't forget.
SAM: Jed never told me to write anything for them.
JOSH: Who?
SAM: The President.
JOSH: Who's the President? (gives a mesmorizing glance at Sam)
SAM: You are Master...
JOSH: Good! Now write the speech by tomorrow. Right now I need you to come with me.
SAM: Why?
JOSH: Just come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination.
SAM: What!?
JOSH: Oh, come on, Sam. [winks]
SAM: Aaah! No!
JOSH: You know you want this. [does a "sexy" "dance"]
SAM: I really don't.
JOSH: Fine, be that way! Security!
S.S.AGENT: [to Sam] You're gonna hafta come with me...
SAM: Huh?
AMY: [appearing out of nowhere to steal screentime...again] Why don't you just shoot him now?
JOSH: Excuse me?
AMY: You're gonna put him in a cell with one inept guard and he'll escape! You do this every time!
[while they argue, sam sneaks away]
SAM: Man, this is some fucked up shit right here...
[INT. The Land of Toby. 8:35 AM]
TOBY: The President has genital warts!
CJ: Huh?
TOBY: This is my role. Do not argue or I shall be forced to mumble.
CJ: Oh.
TOBY: So, anyway, POTUS doesn't have a plot.
CJ: Yes. I've been looking into it, and I think the only answer is that somebody has stolen his plot.
TOBY: How'd you come to that conclusion?
CJ: I am CJ. Do not question me.
TOBY: Sorry. Who would do such a thing!? [looks at cj]
CJ: I didn't do it! Why don't you ask President Lyman if he has any ideas?
TOBY: President Lyman? Son of a bitch!
[INT. Oval Office. 8:45 AM]
JOSH: I gotsta have sex tonight! It took me all day, but I narrowed it down to a list of ten VERY lucky finalists!
DONNA: Am I one of those finalists? [sexy wink]
JOSH: Why, yes muh lady.
DONNA: Is Sam?
[Josh blushes]
AMY: [rushing in] You bastard! I'm gonna kill you! I can't believe you slept with CJ!
DONNA: Josh! No!
JOSH: What?
DONNA: Haven't you learned anything? You're -so- gonna die now! You could be stabbed or beaten or flogged or maimed or given a terminal illness or...
JOSH: You had me at 'die', alright?
ED'N'LARRY: [wearing togas] Toga! Toga! Toga!
JOSH: What's going on here?
ED'N'LARRY: Beats me. FLuFFy's going nuts with these pop culture references.
JOSH: Could you cut it out, please!?
FLUFFY: Run! Run away, Ed'N'Larry, and NEVER return!!!!
JOSH: ...guess not.
[ed'n'larry run away]
[FLuFFy laughs maniacally]
[INT: El office de Toby. 9:00 AM]
TOBY: Donna!
DONNA: What!?
TOBY: Does anything seem weird around here to you?
DONNA: Uh...No?
TOBY: Oh, for God's sake! Josh isn't the President!
DONNA: Are you sure?
TOBY: Positive.
DONNA: [shouts upward] Sorkin!!!! Are you high again?
TOBY: He's not in charge. This FLuFFy is.
DONNA: So we kill her.
FLUFFY: No, we don't! Select text, Delete.
DONNA: So we give her a mango.
FLUFFY: Huh? No...
DONNA: So we make love to her!
FLUFFY: Yeah, that's not gonna work either.
DONNA: So we get Sam to make love to her.
FLUFFY: That'll work! I mean, uh... *ahem* Right now I need you guys to stand around and wait for the meeting that's coming in a little bit.
TOBY: Yes, maam. Donna, could you go get me some coffee?
DONNA: Absolutely.
TOBY: And remember... They can take our lives, but they'll never have our freedom!
DONNA: okay.
[INT. Sam's office. 9:15 AM]
SAM: Uh... Miss. Summers, You can ask all you want, but I highly doubt that the U.S Government is going to set aside 20 Billion dollars for a Vampire Killing Agency.
BUFFY: Slaying. I'm not a killer.
SAM: Right. So, anyway, it was nice speaking to you.
BUFFY: Are you a vampire?
SAM: No, maam, I am not.
BUFFY: Then why did you start sweating when I asked that question?
SAM: It's August and I'm wearing a ...
[Buffy lunges at him with a stake. She gets him in the arm.]
SAM: Aaaaaah! Jesus Christ, woman! Securittttttyyyyyy!!!
[S.S.Agent drags her away]
SAM: That's it. Doooooooonnnnnaaaa!
DONNA: I'm Josh's secretary.
SAM: Yeah, well, I haven't seen mine in monthes.
DONNA: If you say so...
SAM: It's necessary because this Fluff is a newish viewer and has no idea if I have a secretary.
DONNA: Well then how does she know other things that happened a long time ago?
SAM: She's a total dork. Reads off the internet, she does.
DONNA: So why doesn't she just read some cast list or something to see if you have a secretary?
SAM: Just because.
DONNA: Alright. What did you want?
SAM: Get everyone together for a meeting now.
DONNA: Right away.
FLUFFY: Sam, what's your dream job?
SAM: ...the hell?
FLUFFY: Just answer!
SAM: Maybe President, why?
FLUFFY: Well, you'll have plenty of time to be President when you're living in a VAN down by the RIVER!
SAM: What?
FLUFFY: I dunno. Let's kick it up a notch!
SAM: Huh? Are you high?
FLUFFY: Can we have sex now?
SAM: You just answered a question with a question.
FLUFFY: Whatever, dude, you kissed a guy!
SAM: Come again?
FLUFFY: *sigh* Can we get to the gratuitous sex scene now?
SAM: In a little bit.
FLUFFY: Rat farts!
[INT. Big shiny room with lots of old stuff. 9:30 AM]
TOBY&SAM: I called for this meeting...
SAM: I called for it!
TOBY: No, I think I did.
SAM: Shut up! The truth is out there!
TOBY: Sam, I am your father.
SAM: No you're not.
TOBY: I know. Go ahead...
SAM: No, I insist...
TOBY: Alright. I have a theory that Josh stole POTUS's plot!
[everyone gasps]
JOSH: That's proposterous!
TOBY: Is it?
JOSH: Yeah, okay. I did it.
TOBY: Well that was easy.
FLUFFY: Yeah, I'm getting sick of typing. I wanna hurry up and get to the Sam sex.
TOBY: Fair enough. Why'd you do it, Josh!?
JOSH: Because I'm Josh.
[everyone nods their head in agreement.]
JOSH: [to POTUS] Sorry I stole your plot.
POTUS: That's alright, but you're still going to die.
CJ: Yep.
JOSH: Shit.
[Josh gets shot by some random person]
CJ: Right on time.
TOBY: Uh huh.
SAM: Noooooooooooooooooo! I love you, Josh! I love youuuuuuu! I'll never let go!!!!!
FLUFFY: Now, that was such an obvious reference. I'm almost ashamed of myself for putting it in. ALMOST. It's times like these... I'm glad I don't have a conscience.
TOBY: [interrupting] Mr. President, am I going to be punished for talking about your genital warts?
POTUS: I'm afraid so. You must chop down the largest tree in the forest with a herring.
TOBY: A herring?
POTUS: Yes.
TOBY: Alright.
POTUS: Sam, what did you want to say?
SAM: Oh, right. I am tired of being the guy who gets the funny syphilis and has to talk to crazy people! As of this moment, I am through being everybody's butt-monkey!
DONNA: You have syphilis!?
SAM: Well I clearly have something wrong with me if that freak Josh gets more girlfriends than I do.
DONNA: Good point, but I was kinda almost maybe interested in Josh. Does that make me a freak as well?
SAM: Could you please focus!? Butt monkey...me...not any more...
DONNA: Oh, right.
CJ: So, what are you gonna do first?
SAM: I'm gonna tell the President to go fuck himself.
[a pause]
SAM: Mr. President...go fuck yourself.
POTUS: Hey!
CJ: And then...
SAM: And then I'll throw a rock at Toby.
[he does so]
TOBY: Ow!
CJ: And then...
SAM: I'll grab Donna's butt.
[sam grabs her butt]
DONNA: Oooh! Mamma like!
CJ: And then...
SAM: That's pretty much it.
CJ: And then...
SAM: No 'and then'
CJ: And then...
[Sam punches CJ]
FLUFFY: Alright! Now it's time for the ritualistic sex!
SAM: Hell yes!
[they run off]
CJ: Toby, shall we?
TOBY: [incoherent mumbles]
CJ: I'll take that as a yes.
[they run off]
POTUS: This is a genuine 1985 Trojan condom. It will not break!! [holds it up] ...It broke.
DONNA: Whatever.
[They run off as well]
THE END
~~~~
Wanna show off your knowledge of the references? Send an e-mail on over to fluffy@dontmesswithtexas.com. Whoever gets all of them (which is kinda hard) will be given an honorable mention either on my site or in a future story. (or a cookie. Whichever's convenient)
By: FLuFFy
Rating: PG13 for some naughty words. You've been warned, kiddies!
NOTES: As always, this is nonsense. I wanted to see how many tv show and movie references I could get into one story. The total number is 30. That is, of course, not counting this introduction because there is no chance of finding a reference in here...or is there? Let the goofy begin...
~~~~
[INT. Big expensive room. 7:00 AM]
CJ: Alright. It's time to brief you all for the day.
SAM: [eyes gleaming in anticipation] Do I get the main plot? Do I? Huh? Huh?
CJ: [giggles hysterically]
SAM: Hey!
CJ: Sorry, Sam. You get the C Plot with a woman who believes vampires are real.
SAM: Oh, come on! I got some crap like that in "The Two Bartlets"!
DONNA: I thought you dealt with that plot rather well. [gives sam a sexy wink]
SAM: Why, thank you. I was going for kind of a...
CJ: Silence! Respect my authority!
LEO: You don't actually have...
[CJ glares at him]
[CJ hands everyone their plots]
JOSH: Sex Plot! Yippeeeeee!
DONNA: B Plot. Damn. At least it's better than Sam's.
[Sam pouts]
TOBY: Angry man spouting facts about the President's past that I shouldn't know. Alright!
LEO: President's confidante. Sounds about right.
CJ: New boyfriend who'll die soon. Yup.
AMY: Shreiking biatch.
CJ: Now onto the next assignment. Sam... Give Josh a dirty look.
SAM: Now? Why?
CJ: Because we have to leave the fans wondering if you two are still friends or not.
SAM: Of course we're friends!
JOSH: ...or possibly more.
SAM: We're extremely close in an ambiguous way!!!
CJ: I'm sorry, we need the glare.
[Sam glares at Josh]
[Josh glares at Sam]
[Sam glares at Josh again]
[Josh glares at Sam again]
[Sam glares at Josh yet again]
[Josh glares at Sam yet again]
25 MINUTES LATER...
[the POTUS enters, dejectedly]
POTUS: Dear God...
CJ: POTUS?
[POTUS stares blankly]
SAM: What's wrong?
POTUS: My plot... It doesn't exist. It's blank!! [shows everyone the paper]
[dramatic pause]
LEO: Oh, dear God, what do we do now?
CJ: Everybody calm down! It's probably just a misprint. Maybe you got Charlie's plot.
CHARLIE: No, mine's got one line on it. [shows it proudly and disappears into thin air]
CJ: Well, we better get started. I'm sure it'll show up.
JOSH: [in between making out with Amy] Yeah...I'm ....ure... arou... here... omewhere.
[everyone leaves and POTUS is alone]
POTUS: (singing) Have you eeeeeeeever heard the wolf crrrrryyy to the blue corn moooooooon...or asked the grinning bobcat why he grrriiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnned?
FLUFFY: Cut it out, Jed. There'll be plenty of references later.
POTUS: Go away, I hate you! [smacks his behind tauntingly]
FLUFFY: See?
POTUS: Oh.
[dramatic pause]
[INT. Oval Office. 8:00 AM]
LEO: Mr. President?
[the POTUS's chair spins around to reveal...]
JOSH: Yes, Leo?
[Leo gasps, and, due to his old age drops dead.]
JOSH: Mwaaaaahahahahaaaaaa! Soon I will be the only character on the show! Except maybe for Sam, cuz we've got that whole unresolved sexual tension thing...
[CJ Runs in]
CJ: He's dead! Noooooooooooo!
JOSH: I didn't realize you two were that close.
CJ: The script said he was to be my next boyfriend. They killed him BEFORE we got together?
[CJ starts to cry]
JOSH: Hey, CJ... How -you- doin'?
["Lets get it on" begins to play]
JOSH: Oh, yeah. I am a god!
[cut to: Hallway. 20 minutes later. That's 8:20 AM, for those of you too lazy to scroll up.]
JOSH: Sam, I'm going to need you to write the speech for tomorrow night.
SAM: Tomorrow...?
JOSH: The meeting with Mothers Opposed to the Occult. Tell me you didn't forget.
SAM: Jed never told me to write anything for them.
JOSH: Who?
SAM: The President.
JOSH: Who's the President? (gives a mesmorizing glance at Sam)
SAM: You are Master...
JOSH: Good! Now write the speech by tomorrow. Right now I need you to come with me.
SAM: Why?
JOSH: Just come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination.
SAM: What!?
JOSH: Oh, come on, Sam. [winks]
SAM: Aaah! No!
JOSH: You know you want this. [does a "sexy" "dance"]
SAM: I really don't.
JOSH: Fine, be that way! Security!
S.S.AGENT: [to Sam] You're gonna hafta come with me...
SAM: Huh?
AMY: [appearing out of nowhere to steal screentime...again] Why don't you just shoot him now?
JOSH: Excuse me?
AMY: You're gonna put him in a cell with one inept guard and he'll escape! You do this every time!
[while they argue, sam sneaks away]
SAM: Man, this is some fucked up shit right here...
[INT. The Land of Toby. 8:35 AM]
TOBY: The President has genital warts!
CJ: Huh?
TOBY: This is my role. Do not argue or I shall be forced to mumble.
CJ: Oh.
TOBY: So, anyway, POTUS doesn't have a plot.
CJ: Yes. I've been looking into it, and I think the only answer is that somebody has stolen his plot.
TOBY: How'd you come to that conclusion?
CJ: I am CJ. Do not question me.
TOBY: Sorry. Who would do such a thing!? [looks at cj]
CJ: I didn't do it! Why don't you ask President Lyman if he has any ideas?
TOBY: President Lyman? Son of a bitch!
[INT. Oval Office. 8:45 AM]
JOSH: I gotsta have sex tonight! It took me all day, but I narrowed it down to a list of ten VERY lucky finalists!
DONNA: Am I one of those finalists? [sexy wink]
JOSH: Why, yes muh lady.
DONNA: Is Sam?
[Josh blushes]
AMY: [rushing in] You bastard! I'm gonna kill you! I can't believe you slept with CJ!
DONNA: Josh! No!
JOSH: What?
DONNA: Haven't you learned anything? You're -so- gonna die now! You could be stabbed or beaten or flogged or maimed or given a terminal illness or...
JOSH: You had me at 'die', alright?
ED'N'LARRY: [wearing togas] Toga! Toga! Toga!
JOSH: What's going on here?
ED'N'LARRY: Beats me. FLuFFy's going nuts with these pop culture references.
JOSH: Could you cut it out, please!?
FLUFFY: Run! Run away, Ed'N'Larry, and NEVER return!!!!
JOSH: ...guess not.
[ed'n'larry run away]
[FLuFFy laughs maniacally]
[INT: El office de Toby. 9:00 AM]
TOBY: Donna!
DONNA: What!?
TOBY: Does anything seem weird around here to you?
DONNA: Uh...No?
TOBY: Oh, for God's sake! Josh isn't the President!
DONNA: Are you sure?
TOBY: Positive.
DONNA: [shouts upward] Sorkin!!!! Are you high again?
TOBY: He's not in charge. This FLuFFy is.
DONNA: So we kill her.
FLUFFY: No, we don't! Select text, Delete.
DONNA: So we give her a mango.
FLUFFY: Huh? No...
DONNA: So we make love to her!
FLUFFY: Yeah, that's not gonna work either.
DONNA: So we get Sam to make love to her.
FLUFFY: That'll work! I mean, uh... *ahem* Right now I need you guys to stand around and wait for the meeting that's coming in a little bit.
TOBY: Yes, maam. Donna, could you go get me some coffee?
DONNA: Absolutely.
TOBY: And remember... They can take our lives, but they'll never have our freedom!
DONNA: okay.
[INT. Sam's office. 9:15 AM]
SAM: Uh... Miss. Summers, You can ask all you want, but I highly doubt that the U.S Government is going to set aside 20 Billion dollars for a Vampire Killing Agency.
BUFFY: Slaying. I'm not a killer.
SAM: Right. So, anyway, it was nice speaking to you.
BUFFY: Are you a vampire?
SAM: No, maam, I am not.
BUFFY: Then why did you start sweating when I asked that question?
SAM: It's August and I'm wearing a ...
[Buffy lunges at him with a stake. She gets him in the arm.]
SAM: Aaaaaah! Jesus Christ, woman! Securittttttyyyyyy!!!
[S.S.Agent drags her away]
SAM: That's it. Doooooooonnnnnaaaa!
DONNA: I'm Josh's secretary.
SAM: Yeah, well, I haven't seen mine in monthes.
DONNA: If you say so...
SAM: It's necessary because this Fluff is a newish viewer and has no idea if I have a secretary.
DONNA: Well then how does she know other things that happened a long time ago?
SAM: She's a total dork. Reads off the internet, she does.
DONNA: So why doesn't she just read some cast list or something to see if you have a secretary?
SAM: Just because.
DONNA: Alright. What did you want?
SAM: Get everyone together for a meeting now.
DONNA: Right away.
FLUFFY: Sam, what's your dream job?
SAM: ...the hell?
FLUFFY: Just answer!
SAM: Maybe President, why?
FLUFFY: Well, you'll have plenty of time to be President when you're living in a VAN down by the RIVER!
SAM: What?
FLUFFY: I dunno. Let's kick it up a notch!
SAM: Huh? Are you high?
FLUFFY: Can we have sex now?
SAM: You just answered a question with a question.
FLUFFY: Whatever, dude, you kissed a guy!
SAM: Come again?
FLUFFY: *sigh* Can we get to the gratuitous sex scene now?
SAM: In a little bit.
FLUFFY: Rat farts!
[INT. Big shiny room with lots of old stuff. 9:30 AM]
TOBY&SAM: I called for this meeting...
SAM: I called for it!
TOBY: No, I think I did.
SAM: Shut up! The truth is out there!
TOBY: Sam, I am your father.
SAM: No you're not.
TOBY: I know. Go ahead...
SAM: No, I insist...
TOBY: Alright. I have a theory that Josh stole POTUS's plot!
[everyone gasps]
JOSH: That's proposterous!
TOBY: Is it?
JOSH: Yeah, okay. I did it.
TOBY: Well that was easy.
FLUFFY: Yeah, I'm getting sick of typing. I wanna hurry up and get to the Sam sex.
TOBY: Fair enough. Why'd you do it, Josh!?
JOSH: Because I'm Josh.
[everyone nods their head in agreement.]
JOSH: [to POTUS] Sorry I stole your plot.
POTUS: That's alright, but you're still going to die.
CJ: Yep.
JOSH: Shit.
[Josh gets shot by some random person]
CJ: Right on time.
TOBY: Uh huh.
SAM: Noooooooooooooooooo! I love you, Josh! I love youuuuuuu! I'll never let go!!!!!
FLUFFY: Now, that was such an obvious reference. I'm almost ashamed of myself for putting it in. ALMOST. It's times like these... I'm glad I don't have a conscience.
TOBY: [interrupting] Mr. President, am I going to be punished for talking about your genital warts?
POTUS: I'm afraid so. You must chop down the largest tree in the forest with a herring.
TOBY: A herring?
POTUS: Yes.
TOBY: Alright.
POTUS: Sam, what did you want to say?
SAM: Oh, right. I am tired of being the guy who gets the funny syphilis and has to talk to crazy people! As of this moment, I am through being everybody's butt-monkey!
DONNA: You have syphilis!?
SAM: Well I clearly have something wrong with me if that freak Josh gets more girlfriends than I do.
DONNA: Good point, but I was kinda almost maybe interested in Josh. Does that make me a freak as well?
SAM: Could you please focus!? Butt monkey...me...not any more...
DONNA: Oh, right.
CJ: So, what are you gonna do first?
SAM: I'm gonna tell the President to go fuck himself.
[a pause]
SAM: Mr. President...go fuck yourself.
POTUS: Hey!
CJ: And then...
SAM: And then I'll throw a rock at Toby.
[he does so]
TOBY: Ow!
CJ: And then...
SAM: I'll grab Donna's butt.
[sam grabs her butt]
DONNA: Oooh! Mamma like!
CJ: And then...
SAM: That's pretty much it.
CJ: And then...
SAM: No 'and then'
CJ: And then...
[Sam punches CJ]
FLUFFY: Alright! Now it's time for the ritualistic sex!
SAM: Hell yes!
[they run off]
CJ: Toby, shall we?
TOBY: [incoherent mumbles]
CJ: I'll take that as a yes.
[they run off]
POTUS: This is a genuine 1985 Trojan condom. It will not break!! [holds it up] ...It broke.
DONNA: Whatever.
[They run off as well]
THE END
~~~~
Wanna show off your knowledge of the references? Send an e-mail on over to fluffy@dontmesswithtexas.com. Whoever gets all of them (which is kinda hard) will be given an honorable mention either on my site or in a future story. (or a cookie. Whichever's convenient)